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Kuelekea ndoa...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Yousuph .M., May 23, 2011.

  1. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #1
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Wadau,
    Ninae mchumba ambae natarajia inshallah kumuoa na sote tumeridhiana, cha ajabu ndg zangu wa karibu hapo awali waliridhia na kushinikiza nimuoe lakini kwa siku za karibuni hao dada zangu wameanza kufitini chini kwa chini kwa kuwajaza maneno wazazi wangu eti 'wasiridhie' na kuanza kutoa vigezo visivyo na mantiki. Ajapo kwangu huyo mchumba...huwa wako tofauti sana na hawamchangamkii kabisa na kuonyesha kutokumkubali, huku sms zikitawanywa na hatimaye kunifikia.
    Hapo nyuma huyu mchumba wangu alikuwa ni swahiba mkubwa wa dada zangu, na urafiki wao huo ulianza baada ya mie kuwapa introduction ndipo wakashamiri kiurafiki. Sasa, kuna kila dalili za dada zangu kuanza fitna kwa wazazi ili wasiridhie juu ya suala langu hili la kindoa, ilhali nimesharidhia kwa yote muhimu niliyoyahitaji toka kwa mtarajiwa wangu, na nimekuwa nae kwa takriban miaka miwili.
    Naomba ushauri wenu wadau,
     
  2. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Jun 22, 2009
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    Ushauri, ...umeridhika nae muoe
    swala la dada sijui kaka au wazazi kutoridhia huwa lipo tu
    lakini at the end of the day maamuzi ni yako sababu
    huyo muolewaji hataishi na nduguzo bali ni veve mwenyeve(nimeongea kihindi hapo)
     
  3. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #3
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Nafasi ya familia kwa mtu oana nae iwe mwanamke au mwanaume ni ya muhimu saana, hivyo ni vizuri kua hio hali imekuchanganya na kukuumiza - ina maana utakua makini katika kuweza kuchanganua mambo... kama mchumba wako alikua anakubalika huko nyuma na sas hakubaliki kwa upande wangu nimekusoma kua huo uchumba umekua wa mda mrefu mno mpaka sasa inakua kama ni mke kwani mawasiliano yote ya muhimu mnafanya i.e. yeye kua karibu na familia yenu.

    Wadamu wote tuna kasoro.. zaweza zidiana but kila mmoja ana kasoro, hio hali ya kusema ndugu zako wamegeuka ina maana wameshaona kasoro za mchumbayo na wamesahau kua yeye ni mwanadamu hivyo kasoro si ajabu. Kuweza tatua hilo personaly naona fuatilia yafuatayo..

    • Mshauri mchumba apunguze kujisongeza (yeye kwanza hajaolewa haikutakiwa wamjuueee sana) walau kwa mda.
    • Onesha msimamo wako juu ya mchumba wako kwa kuongea na hao ndugu zako
    • Wewe ni mwanaume bana... ita ndugu zako na waface wakueleze.. kulikoni mabadiliko
    • Kama wampenda sana ikiwezekana anzeni kujiandaa muoane, mnavyozidi kuvuta uchumba possibility ya kuachana nayo pia ni kubwa.
     
  4. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #4
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Ahsante sana kwa ushauri mzuri,
    Yote nimekuelewa vema, tayari nilikwishaanza harakati rasmi za kuoana walau kabla ya mwezi wa ramadhaan. Baada ya kuona mambo yameshamiri ndipo hali za chokochoko zilipoanza toka kwa hao ndg zangu. Waila nimekupata vema na nitazingatia, na inshallah nitachukua hatua murua ya kukaa na hao ndg zangu kujua...KULIKONI?
     
  5. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #5
    May 23, 2011
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    Ahsante kwa ushauri mzuri, nauthamini.
     
  6. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 23, 2011
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    nipe sababu kwa nini dada zako sasa hivi hawamkubali
     
  7. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #7
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Previously they used to be so closely friends,
    • Nionacho ni kwamba kuna sehemu wamehitilafiana baina yao,
    • dada zangu huniogopa ilhali wanamambo yao fulani yasiyopendeza na wayafanyayo,
    • Kwa mara kadhaa niwapo kazini mchana hutawanyika, na nirejeapo huwa ni wema sana...nadhani wanakhofia juu ya nikioa aidha hapatokalika au mianya yao itabainika kwa wafanyayo.
    • Huenda hali ya kuwaachia daily budget huwa wanapiga panga, na nikioa fursa hiyo haitokuwepo,
    • Hali ya urafiki wao ulifikia kwa dada zangu kumuhadithia mchumba wangu juu ya habari za mabwana zao, na hii wanatambua kuwa nitajua tu,
    • Ya kwamba hali ya uhuru wa kujiamulia mambo 'haitokuwepo' bali kila jambo lazima lipitie kwangu hata kama nipo kazini.
    • Hivi karibuni kwenye milipuko ya mambomu ya gongo la mboto...familia yangu iihifadhiwa nyumbani kwa huyu mchumba wangu, ambapo hili ni jambo la wema mzuri aliouonyesha katika kutuhifadhi japo mie sikuwa pale wa kulala hata kula...la!
    • Familia yangu ilihudumiwa vema sana tena kwa hali nzuri ya kiutu, ila ghafla nikashangaa kwa hili wimbi la ghafla kuwafikia wazazi tena likiwa na sura ya criticism juu ya mchumba wangu.
    Haya nimeeleza kwa ufupi sana, waila nadhani picha utakuwa umeipata angalau.
     
  8. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
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    Wewe ndie unaeoa au dada zako???

    Kama unampenda weka ndani kifaa hicho achana na mambo ya dada zako.

    Na wakikuzidia sana waambie hivi "MNATAKA NIWAOE NYIE" uone kama kuna mtu atakujibu kitu au kusema neno lolote maana hilo ndo tusi la mwisho kwa watu kama hao pambaf kabisa
     
  9. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #9
    May 23, 2011
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    Nimekusoma, nakushkuru kwa ushauri.
     
  10. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: May 10, 2007
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    Wewe ndie unaenda ishi nae. Ndoa ni ya watu wawili hao wengine wanapita tu
    So kama wewe umerizika naye na unaona anakufaa safari njema na maisha ya furaha na mkeo mtarajiwa!
     
  11. Wa Nyumbani

    Wa Nyumbani JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 23, 2011
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    Ndugu yangu, naungana na wengine walivyoshauri kuwa wewe ndiye muoaji. Kama wazazi wameafiki, MUOE. Nakuhakikishia baada ya ndoa wataacha fitina!
     
  12. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #12
    May 23, 2011
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    Ahsante, nakushkuru kwa ushauri.
     
  13. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 23, 2011
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    Ushauri wote uliopata hapo juu ni mzuri sana. Lakini kumbuka jambo moja, in Africa, you merry a women for the clan, and not for yourself. believe it or not, lakini one day utanikumbuka. Sina maana kwamba uwasilikilize kila wanalotaka ndugu zako, hapana, ila usipuuze kila kitu. Chunguza madai yao, then yapime. At the end of the day, you are the one who will live with her, but are you going to live in isolation? we are in Africa!
     
  14. S

    Sharo hiphop JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 23, 2011
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    Mke ni wa dada zako, wazazi au wako? Atakaekuwa nae kwenye shida na raha ni wewe? Acha kuumiza kichwa.
     
  15. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #15
    May 23, 2011
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    Thnks for the advice, NIMEKUSIKIA, NIMEKUELEWA & NAZINGATIA kikamilifu.
    Ahsante sana mkuu,
     
  16. Manumbu

    Manumbu JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 23, 2011
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    Ni muhimu kujua kwa nini masisteri wamegeuka. kunaweza kuwa na hoja ya msingi au vinginevyo. Asha D ka-sum up kila kitu. onana na nduguzo wakujuze kinagaubaga bila ya kupindisha maneno wala nini. wawe radhi kuwa wayasemayo wanayatoa kwa nia njema. kama sio utajua hizo ni fitna. ila kama kuna la mbolea itakusaidia pia manake hata wewe huwezi kumfahamu mwenzako kila kitu.
     
  17. Wit

    Wit JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 23, 2011
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    Thanks MY daughter,siongezi neno.Thread closed
     
  18. A

    Aine JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 23, 2011
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    Mimi nakushauri ukae na dada zako waulize kwanini wako against na wifi yao mtarajiwa? probably wana sababu za msingi za kuonyesha negative attitude kwake. Ila upime maneno yao, pengine sababu zao si msingi za kukufanya wewe ushindwe kumuoa. Kama za msingi basi utapima mwenyewe cha kufanya kwani kuishi mtaishi ninyi wawili na hauoi kwa ajili yao, ni kwa ajili yako
     
  19. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #19
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Kila la kheri katika hilo...
     
  20. Yousuph .M.

    Yousuph .M. Senior Member

    #20
    May 23, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Sure, nitafanyia kazi tena kwa ukaribu na utulivu mkubwa ukitawaliwa na hekima kuu. Ahsante nimeupata ushauri wako.
     
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