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Kubali ukweli huu....! Mapenzi hayana kanuni wala ujanja.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Analyst, Oct 3, 2011.

  1. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 26, 2011
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    Wapendwa wana JF,
    Salaams!
    Napenda kushirikiana nanyi katika hili kwa kuwa uzoefu umenifundisha kwamba wengi wetu tunapenda sana tuwe na mahusiano yaliyokamilika kadri tunavyoona inafaa. Ila ukweli ni kwamba si watu wengi wamebahatika kupata nafasi ya kupenda na kupendwa kwa kiasi kinachowaridhisha wahusika au watu wanaowazunguka.
    • Kuna wandani wachache sana (kama wapo) ambao wanapendana kwa dhati na kila mmoja ameridhika na mwenzi wake kiasi cha kufurahia uhusiano wao tangu mwanzo hadi wanapoaga dunia. Under normal circumstances kama si wote basi japo mmoja wao kuna siku atakerwa na kuwaza pengine mambo yangekuwa bora zaidi kama angemchagua mwingine.
    • Wapo wengi waliodumu sana kwenye mahusiano kwa kuvumililana tu wakitarajia mambo yatabadilika siku moja bila mafanikio. Mfano wanawake wanaopata kipigo mara kwa mara lakini hawatoki katika mahusiano hayo (ndoa au mchukuano). Baadhi yao hudhani hawana namna ya kuweza kupata mwingine kama huyo.
    • Ni rahisi kujifunza kumpenda mtu (japo kwa maigizo) kuliko kumfanya mtu akupende kwa namna unayoona unastahili. Mwanaume angependa mwanamke anayempa heshima na kumsikiliza kuliko yule anayejaribu kushindana naye muda wote kama hawa wa siku hizi wanaodhani Bwana akichelewa kurudi home basi hata Bibi anayo haki hiyo, lakini si rahisi kumbadili mwanamke kuwa msikivu kama si wa aina hiyo.
    • Kama watu walivyo tofauti kwa majina, maumbile, rangi, makabila nk ndivyo ilivyo namna yao ya kupenda, kuheshimu, kuthamini, kuonesha shukrani nk. Nilichagua mwanamke wa kawaida tu (simple) nikitarajia kuthaminiwa zaidi kwa kuwa niliamini hakuwa akiuzika kama walivyo wale mastar wanaowindwa na kila mwanaume na hivyo asingekuwa jeuri sana. Alinipenda sana (nilivyoamini) na nilijua itakuwa rahisi kwangu kuishi naye kwa kuwa nilichotakiwa kufanya ni kuthamini hisia zake na kumfanya ajihisi malkia. Polepole nikajikuta nampenda kuliko nilivyodhania awali. Cha ajabu badala ya maisha yetu kuwa rahisi. Mambo yanazidi kuniwia magumu maana hajali hisia zangu. Anakosa haombi msamaha, kila jambo anataka lifanyike anavyotaka yeye. Amekuwa msumbufu kwa sasa hadi nimefikia hatua namwangalia tu. Nashukuru Mungu kwamba sijagundua kama anatoa nje hivyo naamini hata kama anatoa basi, anatoa kiwizi sana.
    Baada ya kutafakari sana maisha ya watu wengi wanaolalamikia maisha yao ya ndoa/mahusiano nimegundua kwamba mapenzi hayana formula ambayo mtu anaweza kuifuata ili mambo yamnyookee. Unachotakiwa ni kuchagua unachokitaka kama kilivyo pasipo kutarajia zaidi ya uliyoyaona na kushuhudia. Mkaka ukipata mwanamke mwenye mwonekano au tabia unazozipenda mchukue kwa hayo hayo uliyoyaona na si kutarajia ambayo hujayaona. Si kila mwanamke mrembo na msafi sana kazini lazima awe mke msafi huko home. Kuna wengine kuoga inabidi mkumbushane mkitaka kupumzika lakini asubuhi akitaka kwenda kibaruani hata kama hamna maji atanunua hata ya chupa ili awe msafi atakapokuwa kibaruani. Kina dada nao hivyo hivyo unapomwona handsome mwenye fedha nk si lazima awe mume anayejali. Hawara anayehonga sana si lazima awe mume anayejitolea sana kwa mkewe.
    Pale mapenzi yanapoingia maumivu tujitahidi kujadiliana namna ya kusaidia kupata furaha na inaposhindikana tusisikitike sana kwa kuwa hakuna aliyeahidi kwamba mapenzini watu watafurahi milele. Siku hizi wife akinikera sana namwambia unachokifanya si sawa halafu nachukua time zangu kudeal na mambo mengine. Akinitaka radhi nashukuru Mungu na asipojali na mie naamua kutojali. Furaha si kubwa katika mazingira ya namna hiyo lakini maumivu pia si makubwa pale akili yako inapokuwa inatarajia lolote kutoka katika ndoa/mahusiano mazuri kwa mabaya.
    Nimeapa sitafanya ukorofi kumforce mwanamke kuniheshimu kama ninavyopenda lakini nitamwambia siridhiki. Nikiona amenikera kupita kipimo kwa mambo niliyokwisha mwambia naenda kushuhulikia swala tofauti na kumpuuza kabisa. Ikishindikana tunaachana tu. Lakini sitarajii kutamani kujiua au kukata tamaa ya maisha kisa Mama watoto anafanya ambayo sikuyatarajia.
    Yooote tunayokumbana nayo huwakuta watu na hakuna mahala ambapo tulikosea kiasi cha kusema tujute saaana na kuwachukia wapenzi wetu hawa.
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #2
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: May 15, 2006
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    Too long for me!
     
  3. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 26, 2011
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    Sorry! I was trying to make a point. May be it's not your kind of stuff. Unajua kuna watu wemesoma hadi University lakini hawajawahi kusoma makala gazetini wala riwaya yoyote kwa kuwa kwao ni ndefu mno. Some can still do it though.
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #4
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: May 15, 2006
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    You're right. Me and long-windedness don't mix up too well.
     
  5. s

    shalis JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Jun 30, 2011
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    mmh nyani umezidi mwenzangu kila post we too long ..ama kweli
    miafrica ndivyo tulivyo..hatupendi kusoma
     
  6. s

    shalis JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Jun 30, 2011
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    asante sana analyst , sana sana naweza sema ulijuaje kama nahitaji ushauri kama huu na kwa wakati na kipindi kigumu kama hich nilichonacho
    asante sana kweli JF ni sehemu salama na yenye manufaa
    i was so down this morning ila nashukuru huu ujumbe take me up again.
    asnte sana na unachokisema kipo sahihi sana sana ....mkuu unaweza kuona ni kitoto cha mjusi kumbe ni cha kenge mpaka kinapokuwa lol kuhamaki umeshmfuga na haiwezekani kutoa .mmh mapenzi hay jamani uuuwwiiiiiiii
     
  7. clet 8

    clet 8 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 3, 2011
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    Thanks mr. Analyst it is real good and interesting, big up sana.
     
  8. eyetyna

    eyetyna Senior Member

    #8
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Jun 24, 2011
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    POLE SANA MKUU,ila ur so strong just keep it on,endelea na mambo yako tu,na tene uendelee kumpenda na kumuonyesha mapenzi yote ya nayostahili ili nae aone kama hayo anayofanya ni sahihi au si sahihi!
     
  9. caven dish

    caven dish Senior Member

    #9
    Oct 3, 2011
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    duh ina maana mwenzetu umekaa mguu moja ndani mmoja nje?
     
  10. feis buku

    feis buku JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 3, 2011
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    jamani mtua anasema kile anachokifikiria!! uko na haki zako zote za msingi wasikuzingue!
     
  11. Msikilizaji

    Msikilizaji JF Gold Member

    #11
    Oct 4, 2011
    Joined: Nov 6, 2008
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    Make it short for yourself!!
     
  12. f

    fredduar Member

    #12
    Oct 4, 2011
    Joined: Oct 4, 2011
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    sure ni kweli kabisa. ila inategemea na wapandanao wenyewe. wanaweza wakayafanya yawe na fomula ila by default hayana fomula ni kitu kipo automatically. ukiona mpenzi anahitaji some kind of formular huyo siyo wako.try another one
     
  13. Gagurito

    Gagurito JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 4, 2011
    Joined: Feb 11, 2011
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    the real Analyst! Mapenzi yana ujamja bwana. Imagine dogo form 4 them anachukua demu 2nd year kwa swagga zake, huu si ndio ujanja au?
     
  14. K

    Kelvin lucas New Member

    #14
    Oct 4, 2011
    Joined: Jul 15, 2011
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    I gree with u 100% hayana formula!
     
  15. Kyalow

    Kyalow JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 9, 2011
    Joined: Mar 6, 2011
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    kaka hujabakisha kitu
     
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