Kosa la Eva

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

Mzee Titus Mbawala alikuwa anafundisha mambo ya ndoa kwa wachumba waliokuwa wanajiandaa kufunda ndoa kwenye kigango kimoja cha Parokia ya Tabata.

Alifundisha mambo mengi na hasa yahusuyo mambo ya unyumba. Akitumia mifano mbalimbali ya Kibiblia kuweka msisitizo. Dada mmoja aitwaye Mercy alikuwa akimsikiliza kwa makini aliamua kuuliza swali kama ni muhimu au lazima mume na mke "wafike" pamoja wakati wanatekeleza ndoa yao.

Mzee huyo alijibu kuwa kwa kawaida ingepaswa wote wafike wakati huo huo lakini mara nyingi wanaume wamekuwa wakifika kwanza na kuwaacha wake zao hata safari hawajaanza.

Aliendelea na mafundisho ya ndoa kwa muda na kama saa nzima ikapita baada ya kuelezea asili ya ndoa katika simulizi la Adama na Eva. Alielezea kwanini kati ya Adamu na Eva Adamu alipewa adhabu kubwa sana lakini suala la "uadu" likatangazwa dhidi ya Eva.

Mzee huyo akawauliza wachumba wale wanafikiri ni kosa gani la Eva ambalo lilimfanya apewe adhabu kali namna hiyo?

Wachumba wale walifikiria sana lakini hakuna aliyeweza kuja na jibu. Mzee Mbawala akawauliza kama wamewahi kusikia jinsi wayahudi wanavyoelezea kosa la Eva. Hakuna aliyejibu.

Akiwa tayari kuwapa jibu lake ndipo Mercy alipoamka na kwa kujiamini alitoa jibu lake. "Kosa lake lilikuwa ni kula tunda kwanza" alisema na kuketi chini. Wenzake waliona mantiki yake na kutingisha vichwa vyao kwa kumkubalia.

Mzee Mbawala akamuuliza "unaelewa nini Biblia inaposema kuwa alikula tunda kwanza".

Mercy katika kujiamini kwake alijibu "kwamba alifika kwanza kabla ya mumewe!"

 

[Kibunango]

Good!

 

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

Good!

this one is to you Suki.. it was really funny!!!

 

[Pascal Mayalla]

The truth, sio Eva alifika kwanza, bali ni Eva aliyeonjeshwa kwanza na Ibilisi akanogewa. Adam aliporudi Eva akataka na kulazimisha, ikawa hakuliki, hakulaliki mpaka mpaka Adam katoa 'dose'.

By the way, baada ya Ibilisi kupenya langoni kama nyoka, alijigeuza umbo la mtu mwanamume na kumuuliza Eva, hicho kiungo na hichi cha kwangu ni vya kufanyia nini?. Eva akajibu sijui
Ila Mungu ametukataza tusivitumie.

Ndipo Bilisi akamwambia Eva, Mungu amewadanganya, kwenye viungo hivi, ndipo alipoweka raha, starehe na utamu kuliko mahali popote pengine. Pia akamwambia wakati mkipata starehe na raha hiyo, pia mnapata nguvu na uwezo wa Uungu wa kujiumbia viumbe wengine kama Mungu alivyowaumba. Eva akazidi kushangaa.

Ndipo Ibilisi akamsogelea na kumshika shika, Eva akapandisha
Tunda likamegwa, na kweli utamu ukaonekana na mimba ya Caini ikatungwa.

Adamu aliporudi sasa ikawa ni kazi ya Eva kumshika na kumfundisha hiyo shughuli na kumlazimisha Adam amege tunda na ndipo Mungu akawafumania na kuanza kujifunika maeneo.

Ndipo Mungu akawafukuza na kutoa adhabu dhidi yao.

Mtoto wa kwanza Cain ni product ya Ibilisi ndio maana alifanana tabia na baba yake. Mtoto wa pili Abel ndiye wa Adamu, hata hivyo Caini akamuua.

Ile shughuli ya kula 'tunda' kwa Wakatoliki ni dhambi ya asili. Yaani ili binadamu azaliwe, lazima zambi ya asili ifanyike na tunabatizwa ili kuiondoa hiyo dhambi ya asili.

Binadamu wote wamezaliwa na dhambi hiyo ya asili isipokuwa Yesu peke yake ambaye hakuzaliwa na dhambi ya asili kwa sababu Bikira Maria alikingiwa dhambi ya asili kwa kubeba mimba ya Yesu kwa uwezo wa Roho Mtakatifu bila tunda lake kumegwa.

Ndio maana mapadri wa Katoliki hawatakiwa sio kuoa, bali hata kuonja tunda. Sadaka ya Upadirisho ni kupata hamu ya kuonja tunda na kujinyima sambamba na masista kupata hamu ya kutoa tunda na kujinyima ndio sadaka yenyewe. Ikithibitishwa muhusika hana hamu ya kumega tunda ama kutoa tunda, anafukuzwa seminari, maana atakuwa hana sadaka ya kutoa.

Hii ni kwa mujibu wa hadithi za mapokeo jamani, sio mimi.




a ya Ibilisi

 

[Suki]

this one is to you Suki.. it was really funny!!!

Except,I wasn't joking.
Couldn't help hold on to it either,could you?

 

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

Except,I wasn't joking.
Couldn't help hold on to it either,could you?

of course not, how could I.. nichekwe!?

 

[Babylon]

and it `s still funny;-))))))))

 

[Abdulhalim]

The truth, sio Eva alifika kwanza, bali ni Eva aliyeonjeshwa kwanza na Ibilisi akanogewa. Adam aliporudi Eva akataka na kulazimisha, ikawa hakuliki, hakulaliki mpaka mpaka Adam katoa 'dose'.

By the way, baada ya Ibilisi kupenya langoni kama nyoka, alijigeuza umbo la mtu mwanamume na kumuuliza Eva, hicho kiungo na hichi cha kwangu ni vya kufanyia nini?. Eva akajibu sijui
Ila Mungu ametukataza tusivitumie.

Ndipo Bilisi akamwambia Eva, Mungu amewadanganya, kwenye viungo hivi, ndipo alipoweka raha, starehe na utamu kuliko mahali popote pengine. Pia akamwambia wakati mkipata starehe na raha hiyo, pia mnapata nguvu na uwezo wa Uungu wa kujiumbia viumbe wengine kama Mungu alivyowaumba. Eva akazidi kushangaa.

Ndipo Ibilisi akamsogelea na kumshika shika, Eva akapandisha
Tunda likamegwa, na kweli utamu ukaonekana na mimba ya Caini ikatungwa.

Adamu aliporudi sasa ikawa ni kazi ya Eva kumshika na kumfundisha hiyo shughuli na kumlazimisha Adam amege tunda na ndipo Mungu akawafumania na kuanza kujifunika maeneo.

Ndipo Mungu akawafukuza na kutoa adhabu dhidi yao.

Mtoto wa kwanza Cain ni product ya Ibilisi ndio maana alifanana tabia na baba yake. Mtoto wa pili Abel ndiye wa Adamu, hata hivyo Caini akamuua.

Ile shughuli ya kula 'tunda' kwa Wakatoliki ni dhambi ya asili. Yaani ili binadamu azaliwe, lazima zambi ya asili ifanyike na tunabatizwa ili kuiondoa hiyo dhambi ya asili.

Binadamu wote wamezaliwa na dhambi hiyo ya asili isipokuwa Yesu peke yake ambaye hakuzaliwa na dhambi ya asili kwa sababu Bikira Maria alikingiwa dhambi ya asili kwa kubeba mimba ya Yesu kwa uwezo wa Roho Mtakatifu bila tunda lake kumegwa.

Ndio maana mapadri wa Katoliki hawatakiwa sio kuoa, bali hata kuonja tunda. Sadaka ya Upadirisho ni kupata hamu ya kuonja tunda na kujinyima sambamba na masista kupata hamu ya kutoa tunda na kujinyima ndio sadaka yenyewe. Ikithibitishwa muhusika hana hamu ya kumega tunda ama kutoa tunda, anafukuzwa seminari, maana atakuwa hana sadaka ya kutoa.

Hii ni kwa mujibu wa hadithi za mapokeo jamani, sio mimi.




a ya Ibilisi

Huu ni uzushi & upotoshaji, na wala si JOKES & UTANI!

 

[Japhet]

Mungu wenu anawasikia. Atawauliza maswali hayo siku mkifikishwa kwake. Pia mtaulizwa maswali hayo mbele ya Adamu, Eva na Ibilisi ili mdhibitishe kweli hilo ndio tunda lililoliwa??? Au mmezipotosha roha za watu???....

...Pia inabidi muelewe kwamba kule hakuna wakili wa utetezi wala dhamana ya Bilioni 55...na mkipatikana na hatia....dadadada.....Mtapelekwa Keko ya Milele...

 

[Pascal Mayalla]

Huu ni uzushi & upotoshaji, na wala si JOKES & UTANI!

Sorry MMKJJ na Samahani wote, nasurf na simu yenye screen kiduchu,sikuiona ile jokes. Mistakes highly regratable nashindwa kuifuta, naomba mnifutie.
Kuhusu uzushi na upotoshaji, Mtindio naomba tafuta tafsiri ya 'Mapokeo' sio mimi

 

[Abdulhalim]

Sorry MMKJJ na Samahani wote, nasurf na simu yenye screen kiduchu,sikuiona ile jokes. Mistakes highly regratable nashindwa kuifuta, naomba mnifutie.
Kuhusu uzushi na upotoshaji, Mtindio naomba tafuta tafsiri ya 'Mapokeo' sio mimi

Genesis 3:5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Hapa 'Nyoka' anamwambia Eve, akila tunda atakuwa kama Mungu akijua mema na mabaya, kauli ya nyoka haihusiana na kuzaliana wala kujamiiana.

Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.



Genesis 4: 1 Adam [a] lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.

Ukifuatilia hii passage, stori zako za vijiweni (a.k.a Mapokeo) zina-evaporate!

Baada ya hapo nadhani hakuna swali.

 

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

mtindio, umeangalia hii stori iko fungu gani? Kama tungetaka mambo ya theolojia tungeena kunakohusika. Hapa ni mahali pa kucheka na kuchekeshana.. your are too serious!~

 

[Abdulhalim]

MMKJJ,

Heshima mbele!


Nakubaliana na wewe kuwa hii ni kona ya Jokes & Utani. Pamoja na kukubaliana na hili, siwezi kukubaliana na kila post ktk thread hizi eti tu kwa sababu ni kona ya Jokes & Utani.
Post #1, imakaa vizuri na nadhani inastahili kuwepo hapa. Ila post ya huyu Pacso imekaa ovyo na ni ya uzushi na upotoshaji usiovumilika. Nadhani hata yeye ametahayari, na kujua amekuwa off-topic.

Namalizia kusema, even a joker needs to be competent, ili jokes zake ziwe na mantiki!

 

[MaxShimba]

Genesis 3:5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Hapa 'Nyoka' anamwambia Eve, akila tunda atakuwa kama Mungu akijua mema na mabaya, kauli ya nyoka haihusiana na kuzaliana wala kujamiiana.

Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.



Genesis 4: 1 Adam [a] lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.

Ukifuatilia hii passage, stori zako za vijiweni (a.k.a Mapokeo) zina-evaporate!

Baada ya hapo nadhani hakuna swali.

Thank you for keeping the good work of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

[Kifimbocheza]

No comment

 

[Suki]

Disco limeingia mmasai...

 

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

Disco limeingia mmasai...

Now that is a classic...!!

 

[Mahmoud Qaasim]

Disco limeingia mmasai...

mbona siku hizi wamasai tunaingia disco kama kawa na rubega, sime na rungu zetu na hamna noma yoyote inatokea?
acheni hizo, tusibaguane kikabila bana. kama tatizo ni kupandisha mori basi kiloriti mjini haipatikani hivyo hatunywi na mori hatupandishi. si waona hapa hata sijapanda mori.

 

[Suki]

mbona siku hizi wamasai tunaingia disco kama kawa na rubega, sime na rungu zetu na hamna noma yoyote inatokea?
acheni hizo, tusibaguane kikabila bana. kama tatizo ni kupandisha mori basi kiloriti mjini haipatikani hivyo hatunywi na mori hatupandishi. si waona hapa hata sijapanda mori.

Njeri!
We masai feki bana,una jina ya kipemba?
Usiambie mimi na nyele imeweka dawa ifanane na ya musee.