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Kituko kuhusu teja

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Sep 18, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Palikuwa na teja ambaye alitoka mbio uchi mpaka maskani kwa mateja wenzake. Alipofika, akawauliza wale wenzake' oya hili suti mwaiyonaje' wale wenzake wakamjibu 'hiyo suti iko poa lakini mbona iyo tai umeifunga chini?'
     
  2. rosemarie

    rosemarie JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Mkuu nimecheka lakini nikuulize,,hapo ndio umemaliza?
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Thanks.nakuja na lingine mkuu
     
  4. Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel JF Gold Member

    #4
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Imeishia hapo mkuu...subiri part 2
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Naanda lingine mkuu,utaiona baada ya dk 3
     
  6. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Kipofu aliingia
    restaurant moja ya
    mtaani. Kufika hapo
    mhudumu ambaye ndiyo
    alikuwa mmiliki akafika
    kumsikiliza huku akimpa
    menu asome... Jamaa
    ikabidi amwambie kuwa
    yeye ni kipofu hivyo ili
    ajue atakula nini
    angefurahi sana kama
    angemletea kijiko
    kilichotumiwa na mtu
    yoyote wa mwisho
    kulia... Mwenye hoteli
    akaenda jikoni na
    kumletea jamaa kijiko
    kichafu kama
    alivyoomba... Kumpa tu
    jamaa akakinusa then
    akamwambia, "Ooooh
    yeeeah, hiki ndo
    ntakula... naomba niletee
    wali, nyama ya kuku,
    maharage kidogo na
    kachumbari kama
    alivyokula huyu
    aliyetumia kijiko hiki...."
    Jamaa mwenye hoteli
    akabaki hoi kaduwaa bila
    kuamini kwani yeye ndo
    alikuwa kakitumia na
    kweli alikula hivyo.
    Akaenda ndani na
    kumwambia mpishi
    ambaye ni mke wake
    aandae hivyo baada ya
    hapo akampelekea
    jamaa huku bado
    akiwaza jamaa
    amenusaje na kuhisi
    kweli...
    Baada ya siku nyingi,
    yule kipofu akaenda
    tena kwenye
    restaurant ile. Kwa
    bahati mbaya yule
    mwenye hoteli akawa
    amemsahau kabisa.
    Akamletea tena menu...
    Jamaa akamuuliza... "Vipi
    ndugu yangu??
    Umenisahau tayari??
    Mimi ni yule kipofu..."
    Basi yule mwenye
    restaurant akamjibu,
    "Oooh, samahani, ngoja
    nkakuletee kijiko.."
    Kufika jikoni
    akamwambia mkewe,
    yule jamaa kaja tena,
    ngoja leo tumpime
    tuone kama anajua
    harufu kweli au
    alituzingua tu.
    Akachukua kijiko,
    akakiosha fresh na
    sabuni, akamwambia
    mkewe ajisugue nacho
    sehemu zake za siri
    mbele na nyuma ili
    akamkomoe...
    Basi jamaa
    akampelekea kile kijiko...
    Kama kawaida yule
    kipofu akakinusa na
    baada ya kukinusa tu
    kwa mshangao
    akauliza... "Hee?? Sikujua
    bwana, kumbe Maria
    anafanya kazi hapa??!"
    Jamaa akabaki hoi
    kaduwaa coz ndo jina la
    mkewe(yule mpishi).... lol
     
  7. B

    Balozi Chriss Senior Member

    #7
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Mkuu Excellent upo juu sana...Yaan vyote viwili ni vya moto sana.
     
  8. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Thanks mkuu,nakuja na lingine
     
  9. Jeji

    Jeji JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 18, 2011
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    me hicho kituko cha pili kidogo nivunje mbavu zangu.
    leta ingine..
     
  10. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 18, 2011
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    nakuja nalo mkuu sema kuna mechi hapa,ila nakuja soon
     
  11. d

    dy/dx JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 18, 2011
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    hiyo ya kipofu imenivunja mbavu,unatisha mkuu.
     
  12. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Thanks Dy/dx Napost sasa hivi ya pili
     
  13. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Bibi kizee moja alijulikana bingwa wa kupinga mtaani,yaani kama unabisha mnawekeana dau,siku moja alienda benki alipofika reception akasema nataka niweke hela kwenye account yangu,pale reception akaambiwa lete hela yako tukuwekee,bibi alikataa na kudai manager mkuu wa benki ndo anafaa kumwekea na bila hivo hataweka hela yake a/c.Reception walipoona hivo wakampeleka bibi kwa manager ili amwekee hela,alipofika manager alishangaa sana,akamwambia we bibi hii milioni 10 umetoa wapi mbona jinsi unavyoonekana mtu kama wewe hana uwezo kuwa na hela kama hiyo?Bibi akajibu,nilipinga na mtu na kuwekeana dau ya kila mmoja kuweka milioni 5,kwahiyo nikashinda ndo nikapata milioni 10.Manager akamwuliza,kwani kupinga ni kazi sana?Bibi akajibu,usijali,tunaweza tukapinga mi na wewe ila tuwekeane dau ya miloni 10 kila mtu,ukishinda nakupa milioni 10 na mimi nikishinda unanipa milioni 10,Manager alishawishika na kumwambia bibi aseme watakuwa wanapinga nini?Bibi akamwambia ''kesho mda kama huu saa kumi jioni hutaziona sehemu zako za siri''Manager alibisha kweli na kusema haya tutaona na hiyo milioni 10 yako lazima nichukue mana lazima nitakuwa na nyeti zangu''wakaagana,kesho yake bibi akamjia manager ofisini mda ule ule akiwa na mtu mwingine.Manager akawakaribisha ofisini kwake vizuri,akaenda chooni ili aangalie sehemu zake za siri kama zipo,alipofika chooni akawa anafurahi sana kuziona sehemu zake bado zipo,akarudi ofisi kwa furaha na kumwambia bibi,haya nipe milioni zangu 10 mana nina nyeti zangu bado,Bibi akamwambia mpaka nihakikishe na kuzishikashika kwa mkono ili nijue kama ipo,manager ikabidi afungue zipu lake na bibi akaanza kuzipapasa kwa mkono wake,wakati bibi anapapasa nyeti za manager yule mtu aliyekuja naye akaanza kujipigiza ukutani kwa nguvu,Manager akamwuliza bibi,kwanini huyu mtu uliyekuja naye anajipigiza hivo???Bibi akajibu ''We tulia nikupapase,huyu mtu ameshaliwa hela ndo mana anajipigiza kwa presha,nilimwambia nina uwezo wa kuzipapasa nyeti za manager wa benki kuu ila akabisha ikabidi tuwekeane dau ya miloni 40 kila mtu,kwa hiyo ameshaliwa.,cha msingi ye anipe milioni zangu ili we uchukue milioni zako 10 kutoka kwangu.
     
  14. Shine

    Shine JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Sep 18, 2011
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    <br />
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    Kwahiyo kipofu atakua ashapita kwa mke wajamaa
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Hapo kipofu ameshafaidi mke wa mtu
     
  16. Shine

    Shine JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Yani bibi alikua anaunganisha matukio
     
  17. Mzee

    Mzee JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Sep 18, 2011
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    <br />
    <br />
    inavyoonyesha haupiti mara kwa mara hapa. Hii ya kitambo kweli.
     
  18. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Sikujua mkuu,but nadhani hajaharibika kitu
     
  19. DULLAH B.

    DULLAH B. JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Excellent kweli uko juu!
     
  20. Mzee

    Mzee JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 18, 2011
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    Bibi ni noma.
     
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