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Kitchen Party kutoka Kaunta (Kaunta party) kwa wanawake walioolewa na wanaotarajia kuolewa...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Tuko, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #1
    Dec 20, 2011
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    Naheshimu sana mafunzo na mawaidha wanayopewa wanawake katika kitchen party zao, na nampa big up sana AdhaDii (kama sijakosea kwa uzi wake wa kuwanoa wake zetu aliouweka hapa siku kadhaa zilizopita.

    Pamoja na hayo, niwaambie tu kuwa huko mnaambiana namna ya kuishi kwenye ndoa kwa ujumla, ikiwemo namna ya 'kumridhisha' mumeo. Ni mazuri mnayoambiwa, ila yanakuwa na upungufu kidogo kwa sababu mnaambiwa na wanawake wenzenu tu. Sasa leo nimeona niwape japo kwa ufupi sana yale tunayopenda wanaume, mimi binafsi lakini nikitafuta wastani na yale ninayosikia kwa wanaume wenzangu tukiwa tumeketi kaunta tunapata moja barrdiii. (Kwa taarifa yenu, tukikaa mule tunadiscuss maendeleo hadi inapofikia chupa ya tatu, baada ya hapo tunaanza kudiscuss sketi zinazokatiza na wengine hutoa hasa siri za wake zao (walaaniwe))

    Nisiende mbali sana... Kuna silaha moja tu ya kumfurahisha mumeo na kujenga ndoa yenye amani. Sio chakula kitamu wala tabasamu. Ni SEXUAL LIFE................

    Kwa bahati mbaya sana kwenye ule uzi wa AshaDii, hii aliiweka kama point ya nane nadhani....

    SEXUAL LIFE.... inatakiwa iwe ya kwanza katika maisha ya ndoa, mengine yote yatatokea hapo....

    Ukweli ni kwamba mudi ya binadamu (hasira, furaha, woga, wasiwasi, upendo, chuki, kisirani, usikivu n.k) inakuwa controlled na hormones zinazotolewa kwa wingi katika mwili kwa wakati husika...

    Hakuna wakati mwingine wowote mwanadamu (aliye sexually active), anazalisha katika mwili wake hormones zinazohusiana na amani, furaha, upendo, usikivu.. kama wakati akiwa sexually stimulated.

    Kama unapenda mumeo akupende na aipende ndoa yenu, jua na weza kumstimulate sexually...

    Je, wajua namna ya kufahamu kama mmeo amekuwa sexually au anakuwa sexually stimulated kwako? Ni rahisi kwenu wanawake.. kama mumeo anaerect kirahisi kwako, na mara kwa mara, then anakuwa sexually stimulated na wewe..

    Je, wajua namna ya kumfanya mumeo awe sexually stimulated? Najua hapa wengi wenu mmejibu "ndiyo", lakini niwatahadharishe tu, hakuna kazi ngumu kama hii. Wengi hapa wanawaza romance, wanawaza kujiweka sexy n.k... lakini niwahakikishie kuwa hayo yanafanya kazi kwa mabaa medi, na madada poa, na nyumba ndogo pekee (japo kwa nyumba ndogo sio rahisi kihivyo), lakini sio kwa mke, au mwanamke ambaye mwanaume amekuwa naye kwenye uhusiano kwa muda mrefu...

    Mwanaume anapomtazama mwanamke ambaye hawana mahusiano ya muda mrefu, anaona mwili wake tu, kisha akili yake ina-command mwili utoe hormones kadiri ya ilivyomtarakari. Nitatazama mguu, kiuno, paja, kifua, macho, sijui midomo n.k, then vikinivutia, na nikiwaza kumvua nguo na kumkumbatia, na ku..... then mwili wangu moja kwa moja utatoa hormones flani nzuri, na majibu yake yanaweza kuonekana kwa mitikisiko fulani chini ya kitovu changu...

    Lakini mwanamke akimtazama mke wake, au mpenzi wake wa muda mrefu, haoni mwili wake hata kama yuko uchi, bali anaoyaona MAWAZO yake (full stop). Anayaona mawazo yake. Then, bila kutafakari, bila kuamua mwenyewe, sehemu fulani katika ubongo wake ambayo ina-operate autonomically, inauamrisha mwili utoe hormones fulani. Sasa hapa kuna matatu; ama zitolewe hormones zinazohusiana na FEAR (cortisol related), au zinazohusiana na LOVE (steroidal related), au zisitoke zozote. Najua hapa wanaume wengi tunasema, mimi ni mwanaume, I can't fear my wife... lakini ukweli ndio huo, na it is an involuntary action, you can't control it.

    Kuna wanaume wengi sana wanajilazimisha kuwapenda wake zao. Wanajilazimisha kurudi nyumbani mapema, sio kwa sababu wanajisikia kurudi mapema. Wanajilazimisha kuwanunulia zawadi wake zao, lakini hawajisikii automatically kufanya hivyo. Wanajilazimisha kwenda outing na wake zao, lakini wanafanya hivyo ili kuwaridhisha tu. Wanajilazimisha kusex na wake zao, lakini ni hadi wavute mawazo ya demu mwingine ndo jamaa asimame, na akishamaliza kimoja, harudii tena hadi baada ya siku mbili. Kuna wanaume wanajilazimisha, na kwa bahati mbaya ndio majority. Kuna mwanaume ili ngoma isimame kwa mkewe lazima ishtuliwe kwa nusu saa, lakini akipata miadi na demu wa nje, ktu inasimama njia nzima wakati akielekea huko... Wanawake mpo responsible (fully responsible), kuwafanya wanaume ama watoe fear hormones, au love hormones kwenu, au wasitoe zozote. Fear hormones zina very high antagonistic (opposite) effect kwa love hormones.


    Baada ya kuandika sana sayansi yake, sasa nigusie namna ya kuwezesha mwanaume atoe love hormones zaidi ya fear hormones. Fanya namna hii..
    1. Don't make sex a very seriuos thing.. Nimeona nianze na hii kwa sababu ukianza kusoma hizo nyingine, unaweza kujenga wazo la kuifanya sex iwe very serious. Ukifanya sex iwe very serious, itakufanya wewe kwanza uwe unajenga wasiwasi fulani wakati unapoi pursue, hivyo unasecret cortisol na kukufanya kukosa mvuto kwa mumeo. Kwa hiyo, usiipangie ratiba, mahali, staili, or any official arrangement. Do it easily, do it simple.
    2. Kuwa mtundu/mhuni Wanawake wengi wanajisahau na kudhani kuwa wakiwa watundu, waume zao au jamii inayowazunguka watawaona wahuni. Siku zote wanaume wanakuwa stimulated na wanawake wahuni. Hakuna namna nyingine ya mumeo kuwa stimulated na wewe zaidi ya wewe kuwa mhuni lakini mhuni kwake tu. Uhuni sio dhambi, kama uhuni huo unaufanya ndani ya ndoa (usifanye uhuni nje ya ndoa yako). Kwa hiyo ongea maneno yote ya kihuni ukiwa na mumeo na uki-address zaidi mwili wake na wako na sio wa watu wengine, na matendo yenu, na sio ya watu wengine. Najua hapa siwezi fafanua sana, la sivyo uzi utahamishiwa kuleee, kwa wakubwa. lakini jisikie free kutamka maneno kama m**o, K**a ma**ko, n.k ukiwa na mumeo. Jisikie huru (tena jitahidi), kusema sentensi kama "Kudadeki leo nakukatikia hadi k**a ipate moto", au "leo m**o yako imevimba vizuri, kama ndizi mzuzu ya Tukuyu" n.k (siwezi kutoa mifano zaidi kutokana na maadili ya hapa... kama vipi nifuate PM)... Kuwa mchokozi sana tu. Mfano, katika mazingira ambayo mmeo hakutarajia, fungua zipu ya suruali yake na anza kula ndizi kimya kimya na bila utani. Yaani unajifanya umedata na hii sio lazima ifanyikie chumbani na hata akikukataza, (of coz usifanye penye watuwengine), jifanye unakuwa mkali then, unaendelea kula koni kwa dakika kadhaa, then unamuachia kimya kimya akitafakari, unaendelea na shughuli zako kama hakuna kitu kimetokea. Mfano mwingine ni kama vile mkiwa chumbani, unatandika kanga kitandani, unamlaza chali (unakuwa very siriaz, hakuna kuchekacheka), unachukua shaving machine unamnya mavuzi, bila shaka ukiwa kwenye process ngoma itasimama, unamwambia ..."huyu mbona anajifanya mjanja, ngoja nimnyamazishe" unavua ch*pi unaikalia unaishughulikia, akishusha mzigo inalala. unaendelea na kunyoa, ikisimama tena unaishughulikia tena n.k.
    3. Usichekecheke... kati ya kitu kinachokata stimu kwenye sex ni pale mwanamke anapokuwa anachekacheka 9kwa aibu) wakati akifanya romance. Tengeneza sura ya kulegeza machi na kuenoy unachokifanya (hata kama hauenjoy), hasa wakati unafanya romance. Ukiangalia ndude yake usiiangalie kwa ukichekacheka au ukionesha kushtuka au kuishangaa. Iangalie kama mtu anavyoitazama nyama wakati anaila. Tumia sana mdomo, na sio lazima kila baada ya kulamba koni utake mchezo. Sometimes jifanye kuwa umelamba koni kwa raha zako (mwambie nataka nilambe kidogo then nikageuze mboga jikoni). Mlambishe chumvi kwa nguvu hata kama hapendi. Mkalie kufuani na kwa pozi msogezee..... (nisiendelee sana hapa maana nitavuka mipaka ya maadili). Usitake kila siku akuanze yeye... Kama unajisikia (sio lazima uwe na hamu, but pretend kuwa kuna siku nawe unakuwa na hamu),ghafla bila yeye kutegemea, bila kumuomba, na tena wakati mwingine subir mkiwa mwenye maongezi yasiyohusiana na mapenzi (hata ya maendeo), ghafla anzisha tukio la kushughulikia eneo lake la siri. Na hapa nisisitize kuwa wapo wanaume ambao ukiwaambia kuwa unataka, wanakosa confidence na hapo ngoma haisimami. Yani we jifanye kama vile unajihudumia (yeye hahusiki), chezea maeneo yake vile unavyotaka (huku ukiwa siriaz, au ukipiga stori zisizohusu mapenzi), na baada ya muda utashangaa ngoma inanyanyuka, unavua, unaikomesha, then mnaendelea na stori kama kawaida.

    Yani nina mengi sana ya kuandika, lakini namsikia wifi yenu huko kaingia bafuni, ngoja nikamchokoze kidogo... nitaendelea kesho.
     
  2. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #2
    Dec 20, 2011
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    Nyie mnawachezea akili tu dada zetu na haya mambo ya "sexual life" kama msingi wa ndoa. Mwisho wa siku watu wanagundua kumbe ndoa ni zaidi ya sex! shauri lenu!
     
  3. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #3
    Dec 20, 2011
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    Kumbe msingi wa ndoa ni nini?
     
  4. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 20, 2011
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    hufundishwi haya mambo kwa siku moja jamani.
    Unaanza kufunzwa punde unapozaliwa
    hayo makicheni aprt ni sehemu ya kwenda kula na kunywa na kucheza, nothing more.

    Ndo kila mtu hapa anayetafuta mwenza anasema anataka wife material
    je huyu anakuwa kishafanyiwa kitchen part?
     
  5. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #5
    Dec 20, 2011
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    Ni kuwa pamoja na kuwa wawili katika maisha yenu yote (emotionally, malezi ya watoto, kuhudumia familia, n.k n.k) Msingi wa ndoa ni upamoja wa hao watu walioko kwenye ndoa. Ukiweka "sexual life" kama msingi wa ndoa utaona kuwa vitu vingine vikianza kuingia na muhimu kwenye maisha yenu na kubadilisha your sexual life utajikuta huwezi kudumisha ndoa. Ninachosema ndoa ni zaidi ya sexual encounters za ndoa.

    Ndio maana watu wakiingia kwenye ndoa hawaishi kuwa na sex, sex na sex... mtoto akizaliwa a wakizaliwa au mmoja wenu akiugua au kupata shida fulani ndio unajua kama ndoa imejengwa kwa sex au msingi sasa. Iliyojengwa kwa sex itaanguka.
     
  6. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #6
    Dec 20, 2011
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    Mimi nadhani inatofautiana baina ya mtu na mtu. Kuna ndoa ambazo zimevunjika kwa kukosekana sex ya kuridhisha. Ndoa za hivyo ni wazi kuwa wahusika au mmoja wa wahusika kwake hiyo kitu ndo ilikuwa msingi mkuu.
     
  7. FaizaFoxy

    FaizaFoxy JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 20, 2011
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    Nawashangaa sana mleta mada na wachangiaji.

    Mnashindwa kuelewa ndoa ni nini, kuoana ni nini, Mke ni nini, Mume ni nini.

    Poleni sana.
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #8
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    Gozi halipo nyumbani leo?
     
  9. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 20, 2011
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    duh, kweli ndoa ikiwa imeshikiliwa na sex tu mmoja wao akipata tatizo lazima ivunjike.
    Na hivi visukari, presha, kiharusi vinawamaliza kabisa uwezo wao jinsia ya ME.
    Bora kuoa bila kuiweka sex juu kama bendera ya familia

     
  10. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Hebu tujuze
    yawezekana tuko ofu point

     
  11. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 21, 2011
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    Ni mafunzo mazuri hasa part ya mwisho!
    Na vipi kuhusu wanaume hawahitaji Kaunta party yao? Au na wewe waamini mke ni kwa ajili ya mume na mume ni kwa ajili yake mwenyewe?
     
  12. Binti Magufuli

    Binti Magufuli JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 21, 2011
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    Hiyo pati ya mwisho imenigusa sana.....yaani we acha tu, ila ungeipeleka jukwaa la wakubwa alafu uelezeee kwa undani wake ingekuwa shwari sana, au hata sasa jaribu kupeleka uzi mwingine kule ila uuelezee kwa undani, lazima tuka practice hii kitu bana....
     
  13. Nyalotsi

    Nyalotsi JF-Expert Member

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    alikuwa anapita tu. Yawezekana kakosea njia. Hajazoea mambo haya
     
  14. obsesd

    obsesd JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 21, 2011
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    mmmmh asante kaka. 2 b honest im speechless yan.
    duhh.
     
  15. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahahahahah lol! :):)
     
  16. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    nakupendeaga hicho Mkuu,babaeleze!
     
  17. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    well said FF,nakuunga mkono kichwa,miguu,mikono na kifua!
     
  18. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    kongoshoooooooooo...he au she????
     
  19. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

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    Jamani, good point: kwa nini usiwajuze? Tumia chance hii hata kwa ufupi
     
  20. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Dec 21, 2011
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    Habari yako Tuko....

    Nashukuru for the acknoweledment of the thread.... Hata hivo niseme tu ndoa ni ngumu saaana, haya mambo hua tu twatoa kama mwongozo for wanadamu twapishana saana each individual so unique. Nisiseme mengi kuhusu Mengi ulongea... Ila Msingi tu ni kwamba niseme kua sikubaliani na wewe kua Msingi wa ndoa ni sexual Life/experience yenu nyie kama wanandoa.

    Sex... Kipengele ambacho chaongoza kwa kubomoa ndoa, kwa kuleta matatizo lukuki ndani ya ndoa.... yooote tisa, ambayo hupelekea idadi ya wajane/wagane na mayatima tokana na gonjwa na janga hili la Ukimwi. Mara nyingi wanaume wana tamaaa hata kama you are good vipi in the Sack, most of them ni lazima atatoka tu! (Infidelity is there to stay! Sishabikii... Ila it is the Sad truth) - tokana na hali halisi katika jammii.... Hali ambayo inaonesha idadi ya wake wanaotoka nje nayo inaongezeka kwa kasi.

    IMO Kwa mume Great Food, Great Sex and kumjali, is just a way to ndoa yako iwe ya amani na mengine yafuate, lakini it does not necessarily mean ndo ataridhika na kutosheka nawewe. BTW nina Thread JLW, naona unaweza kuja tupa somo, Karibu saaana.

    Happy Festive Greatings Tuko, and Please regardsto your Family.
     
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