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Kipi Bora; Upende Zaidi Au Upendwe Zaidi? Hakuna Mia Kwa Mia!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Analyst, Jun 16, 2011.

  1. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Si lazima iwe kweli lakini inaonekana zaidi kwamba Couples wengi wanapendana kwa viwango vinavyotofautiana. Hata kama wote wanakiri kupendana kwa dhati namna gani, bado ni ngumu kuthibitisha kwamba kwa wakati wowote mmoja katika kuishi kwao, wawili hawa watakuwa wanapendana kwa viwango sawa. Binafsi nimejijengea theory kwamba atakayefall kwanza atakuwa mpendaji mkubwa siku za mwanzo na atakuwa mbembelezaji wakati huyu mwingine atafall taratibu kwa kubembelezwa. Akinogewa na raha na kufall basi atamjali sana huyu wa mwanzo na wakati huo wa mwanzo atajihisi kupumzika baada ya kukamilisha kazi ngumu. Atafurahia kwa deko za kila aina na wakati huu yeye hata wivu hupungua na huyo wa pili kufall inawezekana akawa na wivu sana wakati huu.

    Pia wapo ambao muda mwingi utagundua eidha mke au mume pekee ndiye mwenye kujali vitu vingi na vidogovidogo katika mahusiano yao.
    Unamkuta mama kwa mfano, ndiye siku zote analalamika bwana kutokuwa romantic na kutomjali wakati bwana anaishi kwa staili kama vile Bora liende. Hajali sana mambo kama mara ya mwisho amebusiwa lini nk.
    Kwa ufupi (hata kama mifano hailipi saana!) kuna kupendwa zaidi ya unavyopenda na kupo kupenda zaidi ya unavyopendwa. Ndiyo maana basi swali langu likawa hivi Kipi bora; Upende zaidi au upendwe zaidi? Hakuna kupendana kuliko lingana kama mia kwa mia. Tafadhali wanajamvi, naomba tujadili hili.
     
  2. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Raha ya kupenda upendwe, na raha ya kupendwa upende.

    Hakuna zaidi ya kupendana.
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Nice one freema, ...kupendana muhimu, siku nyingine mnazidiana tu, mapenzi pasipo pendo ni utumwa.
     
  4. Revolutionary

    Revolutionary JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Dawa ni commitment, sio kupenda wala kupendwa!
     
  5. M

    MONTESQUIEU JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Kupendana na kuheshimiana
     
  6. Crashwise

    Crashwise JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Bora kupendwa zaidi maana ukipenda zaidi utateseka....
     
  7. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Kama kupenda niliishapenda sana so i guess bora kupendwa
     
  8. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Commitment gani ambayo haina kupendwa wala kupenda????
     
  9. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 16, 2011
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    kwa upande wangu mimi,ni bora nipendwe na nijihisi napendwa,nikijihisi kupendwa na mimi nitapenda bila ya kujali kama napenda zaidi au napenda zaidi
     
  10. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 16, 2011
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    i mean napendwa zaidi
     
  11. SHERRIF ARPAIO

    SHERRIF ARPAIO JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 16, 2011
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    It's a rare case.... to deeply love someone and at the same time be truly loved......
     
  12. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Mpaka dakika hii nashukuru ndugu zangu mmeipata point kama ilivyokusudiwa.
    Mwingine ni huyu The Finest
    .
    Hoja hapa ni kuzidiana katika kupendana kwenu nyie wawili (wewe unampenda yeye zaidi ya anavyokupenda wewe au yeye anakupenda wewe zaidi ya unavyompendana yeye) si kutopendwa/kutopenda kabisa. Tujadiliane hapo pleeeeeease......!
     
  13. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    I respect you people more, you who read and understand before commenting.
     
  14. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Kama ni kuzidiana katika kupenda basi inakuwa raha pale unapopenda na wewe unapendwa na pale unapopendwa na wewe unapenda pia, tofauti ya hapo ndio pale unapompenda mtu kumbe yeye yuko on the other side of the coin.
     
  15. M

    Marytina JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Be blessed
     
  16. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Muasisi wa upendo ndo mfano mzuri!Ukiwa kwenye uhusiano jali kupenda bila masharti nawe utakuwa sahihi!
     
  17. Gagurito

    Gagurito JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Raha ya kupenda upendwe bwana teh! Nampenda my gf 100% nae ananipenda sana!
     
  18. The Analyst

    The Analyst JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Je naye anakupenda kwa kiwango hichohicho ulichokiita 100%? Tusaidie wanajamvi wenzako kujua ulipima vipi.
     
  19. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #19
    Jun 16, 2011
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    Katika mapenzi kuna kitu kimoja tu nacho ni kupenda; Katika kupenda kuna kujua kuwa unapenda na kujihisi unapenda. Hisia ya kupenda inaendana na vionjo vya mwili (kuona, kusikia n.k) inajengwa na vitu hivyo. Hisia ya kupenda basi inaendana na tamaa vile vile ya kuwa na mapenzi na mtu fulani. Kujua kupenda kunavuta kutoka kwenye hisia na kufikia kwenye uamuzi wa kutaka kushare maisha yako na mtu fulani katika kiwango cha ukaribu ambao huendana na mahaba. Mtu anapofikia uamuzi huu anakuwa amefanya synchronization ya hisia/vionjo na maamuzi ya moyo na kuvipa utashi wa kuchagua kuwa na mtu fulani.

    Katika mazingira hayo basi mtu anakuwa "amependa". Anayejua kuwa amependa huwa tayari kujitoa kwa mtu "wake" katika level ya kukubali mapenzi ya mwili. Tukumbuke kuwa mwenye hisia ya tamaa ya mwili anaweza kupata hilo la tamaa ya mwili na akasisimwa mwili lakini bila kuwa na mapenzi au upendo wa dhati kwani upendo wenyewe hasa unakuja kwa uamuzi wa moyo.

    Sasa, ni bora kujua unapenda. Wote wawili mkijua mnapendana basi utaona kuwa mapenzi hayana kipimo cha 100 kwa 100 au fifty kwa fifty bali yanajitosheleza katika kipimo chake; na yana uwezo wa kukua kuliko inavyoweza kufikiria na hata wakati ambapo mtu anaweza kuwa na hasira na kukerwa na mwenzake ile sehemu ya mapenzi yenyewe haipungui kwani moyoni ameshaamua kumpenda au kupenda. Katika mazingira hayo utaona kuwa wale ambao mapenzi yao yako katika kiwango cha hisia ni rahisi sana kubadilishwa, kughafilika na hata kutojisikia kumpenda mtu - wenyewe wanaita "kuboreka" na hivyo baada ya muda tu ataanza tena kutafuta mtu mwingine wa "kumpenda" na gurudumu la kupenda na kutopenda huendelea kuzunguka huku likiongeza hisia ya upweke kwani moyo haujafikiwa na kwa kadiri mtu anaishi hivyo ndivyo anavyozidi kuuficha moyo wake kufikiwa na upendo wa kweli.

    Maana yake nini basi?
    Uruhusu moyo wako kupenda na ukishapenda kiukweli amua kumpenda yule unayempenda kwani naye akifikia hapo mtajikuta mnapendana na hakuna kipimo cha kupimiana vinginevyo mkianza kutumia mtaishi katika shuku ya labda leo kipimo kimeongezeka. Moto wa kweli wa mapenzi unaweza kukolezwa kupepewa na na kumwagiwa mafuta zaidi uwake lakini hauchi kuwa moto. Siko moto ukiacha kuwa moto si moto huo ni majivu. Na ole wao wanaokwepa mapenzi ya moto kwa kukumbatia majivu ya mapenzi. Watu hawapiki kwa majivu.
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 16, 2011
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    tatizo wanawake wengi ukiwapenda sana unaharibu....
    wanatulia tu ,wakikupenda wao sana
     
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