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Kilichonikuta imagine you are in my shoes

Discussion in 'JF Chit-Chat' started by Yo Yo, Sep 14, 2011.

  1. Yo Yo

    Yo Yo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 14, 2011
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    This is a real story when I telled people you can imagine

    One day, I was called for a nyama choma somewhere in uswahilini.kademu kangu kama kawaida refused to accompany i, because she does not like most of my friends

    When kademu kangu declined, i scrolled on the list who to call because my main sidekick was seeing and i wanted to climb somebody all together. i called all persons of out in my phonebook, we all say "aa, ungeniambia mapema. nisha enda home, or niko shags, or sijiskii, or i am with the girls, tuje wote" That is another way of telling you that we are getting climbed elsewhere. When all the others failed, he called the one with month. We went to nyama choma together and drunk beer until i refused to know maself

    When it was time to go home, I was so bored I not going to eat somebody because of month, but I had to drop her off to her house. When we entered car, we hugged and kissed small. The person started to touch touch I's tree. When she heard the tree waking up, she unzipped my trouser and removed the my tree and started sucking it. I never been sucked tree so good like the way that person used to she sucked it until it became bigger at times.

    I turn jumped into her brookeside. i removed one out and sucked until she say small small mbuu mbuu. I when finished sucking the first one removed the other one and sucked it too, hungrily. The person got on heat like nothing. I, small small opened her zip and removed her trouser small.wanted to touch nanihii but when i heard there was pumper, he stoped even sucking. The person of out, when she felt I was stoping, removed trouser and pantie and throw them at the back seat.

    When he saw hole displayed for him, he said bad is bad. The only repucation was to have a stomach ache tomorrow sijui kama ni kweli if you eat somebody with month, tomorrow you must have pain on stomach,help me. I bended the seat, then removed my trouser and jumped on the person who had now placed her left leg on the dashboard. Since he was not eating with cd (I told you before how i measures people if we have m-insect. i looks at eyes and lift them small up. If i see white white, i runs. Again, those pumped cheeks. If pumped too much, i know it is red flag. Another one, i say if a lady say she does not drink beer because of doctor, she say you beware because it is ARVs that dont go together. ).

    Slowly slowly, i inserted my tree on the hole with month and ate. Although too many waters as he say, because of month, i ate until he poured, although with assistance of thinking of other persons. By the time i finished, my vest looked like blood all over and all parts of my tree were red. Because he was too drunk, he wiped tree with tissue only small and returned boxer and trouser. He forgot to remove vest and throw it away.

    I went home alright and as usual, i removed all clothes, including the white boxer and slept as kawaida. Mama as i was enjoying sleep in the morning, i heard my kademu ninakoishi nako waking me up while crying. She cried and cried but I could not know what was wrong. When I lifted my head to ask whats cutting, i saw her holding the vest, with red red all over.Mamaaa!
    When i saw the blood stains, immediately knew that i had been caught because it belonged to month of my sidekick. I turn on the other side and buried myself under the sheets, not knowing what to do. I first pinched myself hard to make sure i was not dreaming. When i felt pain it became apparent to me that i was not dreaming. i prayed hard that Alqaida be touched somewhere and bomb my house because he could not face that.

    Men are of God. In a fraction of a second, I emerged from blankets with ideas. i looked at her and said What is disturbign you. I asked you to follow me for goat eating you refused. You should be asking what blood it is for?" That blood is for goat that we slaughtered and when we were slaughtering in that goat eating, it spill on me. That is blood of goat. You amaze me because, what were you thinking it is?

    She , instead of laughing continued to cry and cry. After small time, she removed a white boxer and said (What about blood in boxer? you were slaughtering when you were naked so that when you slaughter, it spill on your tree because tmy marks of blood here are from your tree. These things, parents must know).
    I can never be beaten in anything, although now, i never lacks something to say When were slaughtering, i felt like urinating and when i went to the latrine, that is when i touched tree with my hands that had blood and infected the tree).

    She asked to see my tree. When i touched my tree, i felt some dry dry things. I knew that if i allow her to see, i will be shot and buried in the sea by her there there. You cannot put yourself in fire while seeing withe eyes. I turned to her and said (dont remove me children. Some things i cannot do).
    I buried iself again with sheet and hoped that things will fade away. ..
     
  2. OTIS

    OTIS JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 14, 2011
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    Your signature says it all.
     
  3. Yo Yo

    Yo Yo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 15, 2011
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    What does month mean?
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 15, 2011
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    ha ha haaaaaaaaa
    where is jestina?
     
  5. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 15, 2011
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    Hii kitu imenitia kichefuchefu sana kha??
     
  6. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #6
    Sep 15, 2011
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    This is Kenyan's story...! Dah! Ngoja nimtafute Wanjohi wa Kigogoine...! Tangu lini ameanza kuishi Uswahilini.
     
  7. Keren_Happuch

    Keren_Happuch JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 15, 2011
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    Nimesoma mistari miwili tu, nikachoka....mhhhh!!! Yaani Jina lako na signature yako.........vinajieleza kwa kweli!
     
  8. Nduka

    Nduka JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Kwa nini eating while in a month au what?
     
  9. BornTown

    BornTown JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 15, 2011
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    half crazy and you don't need therapy nimekubali lol! tembea uone
     
  10. Mamzalendo

    Mamzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 15, 2011
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    Ee kweli
     
  11. fabinyo

    fabinyo JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 15, 2011
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    iandike kwa kiswahili
     
  12. mikatabafeki

    mikatabafeki JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 15, 2011
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    huh...................nlimis story zako half crazy
     
  13. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 15, 2011
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    duh....we jamaa kiboko...siku ile ulitupa mkasa ulivyokwenda kumeasure, sasa leo umekuja na dry dry thing....we kweli ni hippotamus.....
     
  14. wilbald

    wilbald JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Sep 15, 2011
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    What a psychiatric!
    Anyway! Weren't crazy, sorry we can't be in your shoes!
     
  15. Makindi N

    Makindi N JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 15, 2011
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    Amua ama kiswahili au kiingereza. This crap is neither a code mixing nor code switching....... Anyway, u've demonstrated a highest degree of mental breakdown, u really need help......
     
  16. Amyner

    Amyner JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 15, 2011
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    What a psycho! U aint half crazy... You are a FULL PACKAGE of craziness!
     
  17. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #17
    Sep 15, 2011
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    You are crazy indeed!!
     
  18. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #18
    Sep 15, 2011
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    His name seals the sig....
     
  19. deni

    deni Senior Member

    #19
    Sep 15, 2011
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    we unatia watu kichefu.acha uchizi huo
     
  20. Al shabab

    Al shabab Member

    #20
    Sep 15, 2011
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    poor english,anyway,i buy your story.it was such a tragedy,pity!!
     
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