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Kichwa kinanvyoniuma nikifikiria Kuoa.

Discussion in 'JF Chit-Chat' started by leroy, May 24, 2012.

  1. leroy

    leroy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Dec 8, 2010
    Messages: 773
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    Katika hali ya kawaida kabisa, kama wewe ni mwanaume na unataka kuoa, ASEEEE JIANDAE KWA MAMBO HAYA:

    1. Kujitambulisha ukweni. Hapo utatakiwa uende kijijini alikozaliwa mkeo mtarajiwa ukajitambulishe huko. Kama mfano mkeo anatokea "TABORA", na mnaishi Dar, andaa nauli ya watu wawili, malazi kwa siku mbili, na utagharamia shuhuli hiyo ya utambulisho. We tenga 500,000. Hapo tuna assume mkeo atajitegemea. Otherwise 800,000 itakutoka.
    2. Kumtambulisha mkeo kwenu. Kama nyie nyumbani ni MOSHI utatakiwa umpeleke huko "Uru-Kimanganuni". Sio umlete hapo Tabata mlipopanga. Hapo sio kwenu! Andaa nauli yako na atakaekusindikiza, nauli ya binti na mwenzie, na gharama za vinywaji na chakula siku hiyo. Utahitaji kama 700,000
    3. Kifuatacho ITV ni kuwaalika wakwe zako nyumbani. Uwatoe watu kama nane (Ba Mkwe, Ma Mkwe, Ba Ubatizo, Ma Ubatizo, Mjomba, Shangazi, Kaka mtu na Dada mtu) kutoka Tabora uwalete Moshi. Wale, walale, wajisaidie, kwa gharama zako. We acha ubishi, tenga 800,000 tu.
    4. Kwani we wazazi wako wanajua unakooa? Sasa je? Wasafirishe kwenda TABORA! Watu watano. Utahitaji kuwa na 500,000. Beba pia ATM card yako, kuna imejensi.
    5. MAHARI ndio topic tatanishi inayofuata sasa. Ukiwa mjanja, unganishia kwenye hiyo safari hapo juu uue ndege wawili. Pamoja na hayo, itabidi ubebe 2,000,000.
    6. Sasa kijana unaweza kumvisha mchumba wako pete. Nunua ya kawaida kabisa ya dhahabu. 350,000. Tukio lenyewe la kumvisha pete unaweza ita marafiki wawili watatu ukatumia 200,000. Au fanya sherehe kabisa. Mi simo
    7. Oke, sasa unaweza kuitisha vikao vya harusi. Tengeneza kadi za mwaliko wa kamati kwa 200,000, kikao cha kwanza gharama zote ni juu yako. Andaa 500,000. Swali la kwanza kwenye kikao: “We una shing ngapi?” Sema 1,000,000.
    8. Utahitaji 100,000 ya sms na simu kukumbushia michango. (Shukuru Mungu kuna cheka time)
    9. Wakati vikao vinaendelea, utatuma 200,000 kwa m-pesa ili mambo ya kimila yaendelee kule nyumbani. We unaelewa bana!!
    10. “Darling, sasa mi kwenye kitchen party ntavaa nini?” 300,000!
    11. “Darling, kuna mahali nimeona gauni zuri la send…” 400,000!
    12. “Baby, rafiki yangu Maimartha alinunua gauni la harusi China yani lilimpendezajee” 700,000!
    13. Wakati huo wewe mwenyewe hujajua utavaa nini, hujanunua pete za harusi, hujamvalisha best man na mkewe. Tuseme unahitaji kama 1,500,000 maana utalia lia sana. Kumbuka, gharama hizi huchangiwi na kamati. Wala hutarudishiwa.
    14. Siku ya send off lazma uende Mwanza. Utaenda mwenyewe? Ndugu wawili watatu na mshenga 600,000. Kwenye send off utatakiwa kutoa sijui blanketi la bibi, vitenge vya mashangazi, na vikorokoro kibao. Nunua hivyo vitu 300,000 uende navyo ili kupunguza gharama. Beba 200,000 za wale mashangazi watakaoibuka ghafla!
    15. Mshonee baba mkwe suti 100,000 mama mkwe yeye atavaa gauni la 50,000.
    16. Fotokopi hiyo hapo juu (namba 15) kwa wazazi wako. 150,000
    17. Watu watakaopenda kuvaa sare wajitegemee! Mimi sina hela! Ila utavishonea nguo vile vitoto kwa 80,000.
    18. Siku mbili kabla ya harusi, utaanza kupokea wageni. Unatakiwa uwatafutie malazi na chakula. Kwa ujumla utahitaji kama 500,000
    19. Jioni watoe auti mashemeji zako ambao hawajawahi kufika Dar ukawanunulie bia ili wakuone wa maana. 200,000
    20. Siku ya harusi bibi harusi na mwenzie na watoto na ma maids watatakiwa wakapambwe saluni. 200,000
    21. We na mwenzio mtaenda kunyoa hapo kwa nanii. Ndevu na nywele na black kibishi 40,000
    22. Siku ya harusi beba sadaka 10,000. Wakati huo umeshamtuma kijana akakulipie hoteli mtakayofikia baada ya harusi. Kamati haitoi hela hiyo, so utalipa malazi ya siku mbili 200,000
    23. Kama mtaenda honeymoon sehemu yoyote nzuri nzuri nje ya mji, si chini ya 800,000 kwa angalau siku 3.
    24. Wakati uko huko honeymoon, huna hata kumi, mwanakamati mmoja ambae hakuchanga anakupigia simu “Mangi eeeeh, Sasa tunavunja lini kamati?” Pesa yote iliyochangwa ilitumika kwenye harusi, sasa gharama za kuvunja kamati ni za nani?? 500,000!
    25. SASA MNAANZA MAISHA YA UNYUMBA. 14,180,000 poorer. ASEEEEEE, YAANI UKIYAFIKIRIA HAYA, utaishia kusema bado nipo nipo kwanza"!!
     
  2. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Messages: 2,986
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    Mtu anaowa kama ana uwezo, kama huna uwezo usikimbilie kuoa
     
  3. MASELE

    MASELE JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Aug 30, 2011
    Messages: 638
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    acha uoga wewe kwani kuoa mpaka ufanyeharusi ya mamillion?
     
  4. mayenga

    mayenga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Sep 6, 2009
    Messages: 3,410
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    Dah!nimeipenda hii.Ila ndo maisha halisi.
     
  5. Madame B

    Madame B JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Apr 9, 2012
    Messages: 22,755
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    Kumbeee....!!!
    Nimeshajua kwa nini vijana wengi wa cku hz wanapenda Mijimama au wanapenda kuwa akina-Mariyoo.
    Asante mkuu.
    Dah!
     
  6. Mamndenyi

    Mamndenyi JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Apr 11, 2011
    Messages: 27,238
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    Beba mkeo/mchumba,
    Nenda kabariki church kwenu,
    biashara imekwisha.
     
  7. M

    Mponjori JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Feb 21, 2011
    Messages: 2,210
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    nmeoa last month!nimebeba mchumba,mamaake(babaake yupo moshi hakuja),na mamaangu(wazaz wangu wapo mbeya nlpendekeza aje mmoja ili kupunguza gharama) na ndugu wa karibu nkafunga ndoa.mke wangu walivaa gaun jeupe elf 20 pia matron wake,mi nlva black trouser na shati jeupe pamoja na msmamizi wangu elf 40 kwa wote wawili.hakuenda salon,pete 2 kwa elf 10,za kawaida tu japo padri altaka kuleta zogo mi nlmwambia ndoa ndo tukio kubwa,sio pete,akakubali kwa shngo upande)baada ya kufunga ndoa tukaelekea kwangu kinyerezi,kwa mbele kuna kaeneo kadogo ka kutosha watu 30 waliokaa..nkanunua kilo zangu 30 za mchele na nyama kilo 15 na kreti 30 za soda..tukala tukanywa,sikumchangisha mtu hela hata buku!saa 1 jion watu wakatawanyika.
     
  8. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2012
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    @ Mponjori nimeipenda hyo!
     
  9. Junior. Cux

    Junior. Cux JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2011
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    umeona enh.. ndo mana mi nakupendaga.!!
     
  10. Fofader

    Fofader JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Sep 28, 2011
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    Leroy niwie radhi kwa swali hili. Wewe kabila gani?
     
  11. Judi wa Kishua

    Judi wa Kishua JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Apr 15, 2012
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    narudi kwetu siku iyo iyo...maisha yenyewe yako wapi ya kuolewa na bahili.
     
  12. leroy

    leroy JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Dec 8, 2010
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    Watanzania hatujafikia mahali pa kuulizana makabilia. Rejea kauli za Nyerere.
     
  13. mmbangifingi

    mmbangifingi JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Mar 9, 2011
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    Nadhani ni watu wana complicate dhana ya harusi,,Mponjoli mfano wa kuigwa
     
  14. Pasco_jr_ngumi

    Pasco_jr_ngumi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Nov 20, 2010
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    Na date na binti la Kipare, namtandika aje kuishi hapa!!!!
     
  15. Fofader

    Fofader JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Sep 28, 2011
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    Hahahahaha! Sina maana mbaya. Ndoa ina uhusiano mkubwa sana na mila na desturi pamoja na dini. Kuna kabila ukitaka kuoa uue simba! (acha hawa feki wa siku hizi). Meaning ukioa uko radhi kurisk na kupoteza maisha yako - gharama kubwa kuliko zote. Naona mkuu wewe uko kiuchumi zaidi. Hahahahahaha! Niguess wewe ni kabila gani? Achana na Nyerere.
     
  16. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2012
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    mh,kuna style imeingia tena rahic. unammimba mpenzi wako thn mnaanza maisha baadaye mnabariki ndoa. just simple and clear. tumia hyo Leroy!
     
  17. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Jun 29, 2008
    Messages: 15,349
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    mtaka cha uvunguni.......
     
  18. measkron

    measkron JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Apr 11, 2011
    Messages: 3,598
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    Mwanangu waipenda hii?
     
  19. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #19
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
    Messages: 10,393
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    Ah Mario, poza ata leli ya mokosi, Mario, na lembie eeh.
    Kwani ukiwa Mario kuna cha ndoa tena?
     
  20. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 24, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Baby wala sitakumimba, tutafunga ndoa ya kimila huko Mahlaleni, Phokeng, halafu tutaenda kuibariki kanisani Tshwane, Gauteng.
    Sawa mpenzi?
     
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