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Kasema mahari itatolewa mwakani,

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by RushwaNiAduiwaHaki, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. R

    RushwaNiAduiwaHaki Member

    #1
    Sep 21, 2012
    Joined: Jan 25, 2012
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    Katika mzunguko wa maisha, nilibahatika kukutana na binti mmoja ambaye taratibu tulianza urafiki wa kawaida, kutokana na mfumo wa urafiki wetu ilifika mahali tukakubaliana kuanzisha uhusiano wa kimapenzi.Lakini wakati uhusiano huu wa kimapenzi ukiwa ndio umeanza nililazimika kuendelea na shughuli na ratiba zangu na nikajikuta nipo mbali na yeye kidogo. Hilo halikuathiri mahusiano yetu kwani kila mmoja aliridhia kuwa ni katika harakati za kujiletea maendeleo. Kipindi tulikutana, ilikuwa ni jijini Mwanza, lakini mimi nikiwa mkazi wa Kilimanjaro na yeye akiwa mkazi wa Njombe Iringa. Siku zilipita na mapenzi yaliendelea na tuli-share kila kitu kuhusiana na maisha yetu, background, interest na hobbies pamoja na matarajio kulingana na kudra za Mwenyezi Mungu. Kwa upande wangu nilikuwa muwazi kabisa bila kuficha nikimueleza kila kitu kuhusiana na mimi, na yeye alinieleza na nilimuamini ingawa siwezi fahamu kuwa alinieleza yote na kama yalikuwa ya kweli. Siku, wiki na miezi ikapita tukiwa na mawasiliano mazuri na marafiki zetu wa karibu wa pande zote mbili wakifahamu kila kinachoendelea. Kuna mambo ilibidi niyabadilishe katika misimamo yangu ili at least kukidhi misimamo yake, Mathalani, Yeye alitaka tuoane 2015 mie nikaona itakuwa mapema sana lakini baada ya majadiliano tukakubaliana iwe 2017 na hapa ni baada ya kuangalia ni nini kinahitajika ili mtu afunge ndoa kwa kina na kuona kuwa Mungu akitubariki basi 2017 tutakuwa tumekamilisha kila kitu, Kuhusu uzazi wa mpango yeye alikuwa anapendelea zaidi watoto watatu, mie nilipendelea mtoto mmoja, na mwisho tulijadiliana na kukubaliana tutazaa watoto wawili kwa kudra za Mwenyezi Mungu,Na pia alitaka apate mtoto wa kwanza kabla ya ndoa, hilo nililipinga kabisa, kwa sababu ni kinyume na maadili yetu.
    Muda ulipita na ikafikia wakati anataka kwenda kwao Iringa, nikamuambia kwa kuwa unao ndugu Moshi basi ni vyema ukapitia Moshi angalao tusalimiane kabla hajaenda Iringa kutokea mwanza. Alikubali, lakini tatizo likaja ni kuwa alitaka kufikia ninapoishi mimi katika chumba cha kupanga, nilipinga hilo wazo kwa kuwa niliona si jambo la kimaadili kufanya ''cohabition'' na mchumba wangu huyu, lakini baada ya kusisitiza sana nililazimika kukubaliana naye na ikafika siku akaja na kuishi na mimi kwa siku 5 badala ya 3 tulizopanga awali. Kwa uwazi bila kificho ni kuwa tuliishi kama mtu na mke wake ingawa kila mara nilijitahidi kuhakikisha natumia CONDOM katika tendo la uzinifu. Siku ziliisha na alielekea kwao Iringa, na mapenzi yakaendelea kama kawaida[Long Distance Relationship]. Siku, wiki na mwezi ukapita na nikapata kazi nyingine jijini Arusha na Dar es Salaam, na nikashauriana naye na mwisho niliamua kufanya Arusha, siku c nyingi nikapata kazi nyingine yenye maslahi zaidi katika Mkoa wa Rukwa, Sumbawanga mjini, nilishauriana naye na kila jambo likawa sawa, lakini kabla sijaenda kureport kwenye kazi yangu mpya, nikaanza kuona mabadiliko kwenye mahusiano yetu, kuna siku nilimpigia simu ikawa ipo bussy kwa masaa matatu na ilikuwa usiku, niliamua kumuandikia sms kumtakia usingizi mwema na nikalala, na kesho yake akanijibu kwa sms kuwa sms yangu ameiona na akatoa maelezo kuwa usiku ule alikuwa amemuazima simu mdogo wake, nami nikaridhia kwa moyo mmoja ingawa wala sikuomba maelezo yale, labda kwa sababu aliona missed call zangu nyingi sana. Lakini, hali ikaendelea kuwa hivyo, na nikataka maelezo kwani hali ilibadilika sana, na akaniambia kuna matatizo nyumbani aki-settle ataniambia. Sikuona tatizo sana, ila baadaye alinieleza kuwa kuna kaka ambaye walianza uhusiano tangu 2005, baadaye waka-break up kwa sababu ni yeye ndiye alimkosea yule kaka na alilazimika kumuomba msamaha. Akasema kuwa kaka alimsamehe lakini mahusiano hayakurudia tena, sasa wakati huu alipoenda nyumbani ndio kaka amemfuata akamuambia waendelee. Kwa kuwa tayari kaka alikuwa anafahamika nyumbani kwao na alimtambulisha huyo binti kwao basi inamuwia vigumu kuamua. Nikajitahidi kuwa mpole, na nikamuambia,,,Wewe umeamua nini sasa? Akaniambia bado hajaaamua, nami nikamuambia afanye uamuzi sahihi juu ya hilo jambo, nikaenda mbali zaidi kumueleza kuwa,''Hakuna uamuzi muhimu kama uamuzi wa ni nani utakayeoana naye katika maisha''. Nikamuambia pia na uamuzi sahihi si lazima uwe upande wangu, unaweza ukawa kwangu au against mimi. Lengo langu hapa, ilikuwa ni kuangalia ni kiasi gani dada huyu ananipenda!! Na ikumbukwe kuwa, katika uhusiano wetu hakuwahi kuniambia kabisa hii story. Nikiwa tayari nipo Sumbawanga, na yeye akiwa njiani kurudi Mwanza nikamuuliza ameamua nini? Akaniambia nisubiri ataniambia, nikawa nimeelewa kila kinachoendelea, na nikaendelea kutumia njia za kifalsafa kufahamu ukweli, na ndipo akaniambia kuwa ''Inabidi iwe hivyo, kwa sababu alitambulishwa na kaka alikuwa tayari kutoa mahari kipindi hiki lakini akaahirisha mpaka mwakani, na Mungu akijalia atatoa hiyo mahari''.Na akaendelea kunidanganya kuwa,'Atanipenda milele daima, kwa kuwa alinipokea kwa mikono miwili' nami nikaona isiwe shida, nimpishe aendelee na maisha na mie njipange kizingine, kwa sababu haya maisha yapo tuu. Nikamwambia, nakutakia kila la heri and ''You'll Never Walk Alone''
     
  2. mdoe

    mdoe JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Good boy! You are very gentleman!
     
  3. m

    mataka JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Bora akuache make hapo ungempotezea muda tu. Leo 2012 hafu ndoa 2017 na long distance relationship hiy? Angekuwa mimi hata ningeshawishiwa kukuacha. Kuja kwako ili atulize hamu na mawazo ulikuwa unasitasita naye amepata wa kumpa faraja na ndoa juu yake asubiri wewe? Kwa taarifa ya hakurudiana na wazamani ila alipata mtu mwingine aliyeonesha nia haraka kuliko wewe wa 2017! Pole.
     
  4. R

    RushwaNiAduiwaHaki Member

    #4
    Sep 21, 2012
    Joined: Jan 25, 2012
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    Bwana, Mataka mie kwa mawazo yangu sidhani kama 2017 ni issue, nadhani cha msingi hapa ni upendo wa dhati ulihitajika. Watu wanaoana baada ya miaka 10 ya uhusiano sembuse hii mitano? Okey, inawezekana ni kweli ulivyosema, sasa ngoja mie nikae pembeni nione kama kweli ataolewa by 2015, kama kweli atapata mtoto nje ya ndoa, kama kweli huyo mwingine atatoa mahari mwakani, muda utasema,,,,sina kinyongo ila usishangae kuwa kuna uwezekano mie nikaoa yeye hajaolewa111
     
  5. R

    RushwaNiAduiwaHaki Member

    #5
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Asante Mdoe kwa kunitia moyo.
     
  6. Watu8

    Watu8 JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 21, 2012
    Joined: Feb 19, 2010
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    Uamuzi mzuri sana ndugu...
    Unajua siri ya mapenzi ya dhati imefichika ndani ya mioyo ya wanaume, anachopaswa mwanamke ni kuhakikisha anaisaka hiyo "energy" ili aweze kuunganishwa nayo...
    Mioyo yetu huzungumza yenyewe katika mawimbi "frequency" ambayo ni mioyo tu ndio huweza kung'amua...
    Ngoja tu niwe wazi...wanawake wanawaza viyu hivi akilini mwao...
    1. Akiwa mdogo siku zote atawaza akuwe awe mkubwa kama dada fulani naye aonekane mrembo...
    2. Mungu si athumani binti atakuwa mkubwa, atavunja ungo na pengine ataenda shule n.k n.k, hapa ataanza kutamani aoelewe,awe na mume mzuri,kazi nzuri kimsingi huwa hawawazi maisha kwa upande mwingine wa shilingi kwa kuwa akili zao zimeumbwa kuwa tegemezi.
    3. Mwisho akili yote humpeleka kuwa na watoto wangapi, wawe jinsia gani, nk nk.

    Sasa ogopa sana kukutana na mwanamke aliyepo stage namba 2 na 3. Ndugu yangu watu hao huwa wanakuwa desperate sana. Akilini mwao fikra pekee zilizotamalaki ni kuolewa au kuwa na watoto basi.
    Hizo ndio stages ngumu kwa mwanamke kuweza kufanya uamuzi sahihi, maana wengi hukosea maamuzi na kujikuta wanajutia baadaye.

    Mkuu piga moyo konde, wanawake wapo wengi na uzuri zaidi wapo wanaojitambua na wanaelewa nini maana ya maisha. Huyo asikudanganye akilini mwake alishaamua siku nyingi kwako alikuja kupeleleza tu kama kile alichokifanyia maamuzi kinapatikana
     
  7. BHULULU

    BHULULU JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 21, 2012
    Joined: Jun 28, 2012
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    Mkuu,kwanza pongezi sana kwa uamzi wa busara inaonekana huna papara. kwa kifupi huyo mtu wako hajatulia na hakuwa amedhamiria,kulingana na uzoefu wangu, atagonga ukuta na kuomba suluhu tena kwako.
     
  8. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Hivi 2017 kiama itakuwa bado? Yule jamaa anaetabirigi anatufanya tunavaa nguo za kanisani kumsubiri maulana, last time alisema Jesus anakuja lini?
    Hujakosea, acha dada wa watu akajaribu bahati (manake nahisi atatendwa tu). Kila siku unapata kazi zenye maslahi zaidi, na unataka kuoa 2017? Kwani una umri gani?
     
  9. Asulo

    Asulo JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Kisichoridhiki... hakiliki
    Mkuu huyo hakuwa wako hasa uliyepangiwa na muumba.
    Kuwa mvumilivu naye umuombee mafanikio.
     
  10. Mahmetkid

    Mahmetkid JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 21, 2012
    Joined: Apr 20, 2012
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    Ni uhamuzi nzuri, ambao utakulinda wewe na msukosuko ya kimapenzi.

    Kwa jinsi inavyoonyesha wapo wote muda mrefu, ndiyo maana amediliki kukwambia bado atakuwa na wewe japo ataingia ndani ya ndoa na huyo mkaka.
     
  11. V

    Von Mo JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 21, 2012
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    nakuunga mkono mataka, nikiwa mwanaume kamili natamani uchumba wa mwaka moja unatosha mkiwa serious mnaoana....otherwise mnakaribisha matatizo, we uchumba wa miaka 5, changnya na zako...aliona huna future naye, bora ungekubali uzae naye
     
  12. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Fimbo ya mbali haiui nyoka!
     
  13. i

    issabela Senior Member

    #13
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Pole sana kakangu hyo ni mitihan 2 ya maisha na hongera kwa busara uloi2mia. All th best in ur single lyf mungu atakupa zaidi ya uliekua nae hme hme cku atakukumbuk 2 mambo yakiharibk huko tena c wanawake 2namaumivu sana
     
  14. UBISHI

    UBISHI Member

    #14
    Sep 21, 2012
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    Du kazi hii, Anza upya msahau period
     
  15. Money Stunna

    Money Stunna JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 21, 2012
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    nampongeza uyo dada kwa uamuzi wake uo wa kijasiri,ungempotezea muda dada wa watu,ndoa 2017!!!!!,kwanza kwenye pita pita zako na hiyo long distance yako ungepata mwingine,ungempotezea muda dada wa watu
     
  16. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 22, 2012
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    inaonyesha wewe ni mtu mwenye busara fulani hivi,na upole kiasi fulani.ki uweli huo mwaka wa ndoa ni mbali,ila na pengine huyo dada anaweza akaolewa,baadae yakamshinda,akakwambia mrudiane.move on,ila kwa wanawake,mara nyingi ahadi ya ndoa baada ya miaka 7 huwa hatupendi.mpeane tunda wee miaka na miaka,huwa haipendezi
     
  17. Mcheza Karate

    Mcheza Karate JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Sep 22, 2012
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    Mh! Na we umezidi bana. Ona sasa wenzio wamefunga bao la kichwa. Mwenzio alihisi ungempotezea muda.

    Ila you are gentleman, umetumia muungwana tu.
     
  18. lara 1

    lara 1 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 22, 2012
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    Yaleyale niliyosema nikaonekana mbaya!!!! ZOMBINIZATION AT WORK!!!!! BAAAAAAAS!!!
     
  19. MtamaMchungu

    MtamaMchungu JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 22, 2012
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    Binafsi naamini ulimuweka katika wakati mgumu na ahadi ya ndoa 2017. Sijui ana miaka mingapi but I can assume by 2017 atakuwa around 25-28 yrs. Naamini alichokuwa anajiuliza ni "Hivi ikifika 2017 huyu jamaa akaamua kuiacha, nitaenda wapi mimi?"

    Unaweza kusema "mimi siwezi kumsaliti" lakini haya mambo yanatokea. Na mtu akiona mwenzake ananyolewa, lazima awe na kichwa chake. Sisi wanaume hatuna "expire date" as far as marriage is concerned, ndio maana hatuna hata mawazo na umri wetu, lakini kwa dada zetu. Mambo yako tofauti, kabla ya kufanya maamuzi yatakayoathiri maisha ya wenzetu, hebu tujaribu kuingia kwenye viatu vyao...

    When it comes to women, age is of the essence.
     
  20. Dr. Wansegamila

    Dr. Wansegamila JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 22, 2012
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    Dah!!! Hizi lugha za watu hizi!!??
    Tutumie kiswahili tuu
     
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