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Kaka jambazi eeh!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Feb 11, 2010.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Feb 11, 2010
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
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    Hiki ni kisa cha kweli:

    kikundi cha majambazi kilivamia nyumba moja ambapo wanafunzi wa Chuo Kikuu kmoja nchini walikuwa wamepanga. Baada ya kuwapora vitu mbalimbali vikiwemo simu za mkononi, wakati wa kuondoka mazungumzo yalikuwa hivi:

    "Samahani kaka jambazi" mmoja wa wanafunzi wa kike aliyekuwa bado amelala chini aliita kabla jambazi wa mwisho hajatokomea gizani

    "Unataka nini wewe" aliuliza jambazi huku akimmulika kwa tochi

    "Sasa nyinyi si mnata simu?" alisema mwanafunzi

    "unayo nyingine?" aliuliza jambazi

    "hapana sina nyingine" alijibu mwanafunzi huku ameinua kichwa chake kumuangalia yule jambazi

    "sasa unataka nini?" kwa hasira aliuliza jambazi

    "Kaka jambazi miye naomba unirushie line yangu, ila simu chukua" alilia yule dada.

    Yule jambazi kwau ukarimu wake akafungua zile simu na kuchomoa sim cards na kuwarudishia wanafunzi. Wakatokomea.

    Tangu siku ile majambazi wale wanajulikana kwa ukarimu wao.
     
  2. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 11, 2010
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
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    Eeeh bana eeeh, lipi limekusibu mzee siku ya leo.

    Kila siku machozi!
     
  3. MaxShimba

    MaxShimba JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 11, 2010
    Joined: Apr 11, 2008
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    Kwakweli hao majambazi ni wa aina yake. lol
     
  4. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 11, 2010
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    Lazima watakuwa hapa bongo Dar maana ukarimu huo ni wa nadra sana.Lol
     
  5. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 11, 2010
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    Kaka jambazi = ra and company, dada mwanafunzi = kaka mkubwa.
    Ngoja niwape vijicent vya "kilmo hewa" msahau shida zenu, kwani
    Nyie wanafunzi lichuo hili ni wasahaulifu sana. Mtasahu tu na kuutangaza
    Ufalme wangu popote muendapo.

    Respect mmj.
     
  6. M

    Mundu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 11, 2010
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    Ni kama yule ambaye alikimbia na hela za wananchi kwa ufisadi, lakini akatuachia uwaziri mkuu! Sasa hivi eti anaonekana ni mkarimu.
     
  7. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 11, 2010
    Joined: Jan 29, 2009
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    Mnasifia mtu aliye rape, ila kabla ya ku rape kaambiwa basi afadhali uvae ndomu, akavaa.

    Mnamsifiiiiiia.

    Mnaminimize ushenzi wa rape kwa sababu rapist alivaa condom?

    Mi sijaelewa hili. Ni mentality hii hii inayotufanya tukubali uongozi mbovu eti kisa tuna "amani"

    Watu wantuibia simu kwa ma EPA na ma Richmondi na kutuachia "line" ya amani, halafu tunawasifu majambazi wakarimu kweli, wametuibia simu lakini wametuachia line.

    Hogwash bin Balderdash.
     
  8. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 11, 2010
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    Do we have know you by your deeds mjomba? I mean kaka jambazi?!
     
  9. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 11, 2010
    Joined: Mar 31, 2009
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    Kumbe ipo sathili nyingine ya "Kaka Jambazi" zaidi ya ile ya BWABWA?...Kweli hii inji chipoko!.Hatukawii kusahau matatizo kwa kuwa tumezaliwa na huruma kuliko "YESU MNAZARETI!"

    Tulipoanza tu awamu ya Nne, kelele zilikuwa nyingi sana kuwa chama tawala kimetumia fedha nyingi za umma kwenye kampeni, tukapigwa na changa la macho la "MABILIONI YA JK" ambayo yalipelekea kwa wanyonge kwa staili ya aina yake, yakapelekea kuanzishwa kwa " SACCOS" hewa zenye mfumo tofauti na zile za kawaida za kiushirika, ambazo zilipelekea wajanja "KUKOPA KABLA YA KUWEKA na hatujui sasa kama wamerejesha na uhai wa SACOSS hizo upoje sasa . Wote tupo kimya, hakuna ajue hatima ya hizo fedha za umma zimeipatia jamii faida gani kwa kuwa zilitolewa kwa kivuli cha jina lililojema la Mheshimiwa mwenyewe.

    Hatukuweza kuhoji DSA alizotumia mzee wa "RICHI MONDULI" na wapambe wake waliokwenda kutafuta "mvua ya kutengeneza" kule Thailand, na mvua yenyewe isionekane mapka kesho...

    Hatujahoji ni vipi "tutafidiwa kwa fedha zilizopotea kwenye ulaghai wa wazi wa RICHMOND na DOWANS kupitia malipo ya gharama za uwezo wa genereta (Capacity charges) ambazo zimetoka na umeme haukuonekana? Tuliambiwa Serikali yetu inalishighulikia na hatima yake imefika kikomo, mjadala umefungwa sasa!....

    BEA wamekubalui kurejesha chenji taslimu bila riba. Tumekubali na kuanza kujisifia "kwa hili tumefanikisha" fedha zitaenda kwenye miradi ya maendeleo (hatutaki tena rada wala zana za kijeshi).

    Kagoda, MEREMETA na wenzake wamerejesha zile za EPA, tukasema ziende kwenye KILIMO na hapo hapo Mafedhuli wa EPA wakaja na aandiko la Kimradi kwa jina la "KILIMO KWANZA" kwa kivuli cha "MAPINDUZI YA KIJANI (Green Revolution) ambao unahitaji mabilioni ya shilingi ambazo haziwezi kumfikia mkulima zaidi ya hao wabwenyenye!...
     
  10. KakaJambazi

    KakaJambazi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 12, 2010
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    Wengine huwa tunasali kwanza kabla ya kwenda kufanya ujambazi.
     
  11. N

    Nyauba JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 12, 2010
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    Ndio majambazi wakarimu ni afadhali kuliko jambazi asiye na huruma. Sisi ni wa mepesi mepesi!!!!!!

    Kaka jambazi hakutaka kumtoa uhai dada yule zaidi ya kukwibaa simu na vingine.

    Hata viongozi tulionao wanatuibia fedha na rasilimali zetu ila bado wanatujali kwenye chaguzi na kutuaminisha kuwa umoja na amani ya kitaifa wanaisimamia..Kumbuka 1995wakati wa uchaguzi wa kwanza wa vyama vingi na vuguvugu la Mrema tulionyeshwa picha za mauji ya Rwanda ni kutokana na kuchagua upinzanii...TULIOGOFYA SANA...na tuliwaaminii..

    Hata leo maandamano bado ni sumu kwani Polisi wakitokea tuu na mabomu, marungu na maji ya kuwashwaaa tunatawanyikaa kabla hata hawajavitumiaa..

    Ndio sisi ni kisiwa cha amani ila sijui ni msingi wa Mwalimu Kama historia inavyotuaminisha kwenye maandiko au ni hulka ya asili ya Watanzania????

    Kaka jambazi jamaniii bora yeye kuliko jambazi muuaji.
     
  12. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 12, 2010
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
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    Hii Mwanakijiji Ilitokea SAUT Chuo Kikuu Mwanza..Maeneo ya kijiweni...Umeispot kiukweli.Eneo hilo linakuwaga maarufu sana wakati boom likitoka wanafunzi huwa na matanuzi kwenda mbele na kununua vitu vya thamani sasa hapo ndio uvamizi unaanza.Kwa Kumalizia mwingine alimwambia kaka jambazi amwachie simu boom likitoka aijie chake..kama shida ni mapato.
    Regards
    Buswelu
     
  13. The Son of Man

    The Son of Man JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 12, 2010
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    Alichofanya ni kuwakumbusha manake sim cards kimsingi haziwasaidii majambazi baada ya kuiba
    handsets
     
  14. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #14
    Feb 13, 2010
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    buswelu.. its true.. ni SAUT
     
  15. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Duh hii kiboko..kaka jambazi..ehehhhe
     
  16. Sinkala

    Sinkala JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Nimefurahi kuona kwamba hata humu JF kuna member anaitwa KakaJambazi, sasa sijui ndo huyo aliyerudisha simcard au ni coincidence tu.
     
  17. m

    mchajikobe JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Hao majambazi watakuwa wapya katika hii field,sio wale wa kutoka nyanda za juu kusini au mikoa ya kanda ya kaskazini,maana wao kila kitu deal,hata hizo line wangekomba tuu!!
     
  18. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Hahahaaa! Kwa hiyo wangewaibia hela wangeomba warudishiwe wallet?
     
  19. Soulbrother

    Soulbrother JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Huu ndo wizi wa kibongo... tunaibiwa ila tunawasifia kwa kurudisha laini na tunawaita kaka... mafisadi,wezi jambazi.....SIKUBALI KUWAITA HAWA MAKAKA
     
  20. Remmy

    Remmy JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Ha ha ha!Mwanakijiji bwana eti ooh,kisa cha kweli.
     
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