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...Jumatatu Natoa talaka kwa Mke wangu....Yamenishinda

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by NGOSWE.120, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 15, 2012
    Joined: Jul 9, 2011
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    UPDATES a.k. a Feedback about Talaka


    Wapendwa Wana MMU nawashukuru sana kwa ushauri mbali mbali mlionipatia juu ya sred yangu hii iliyokuwa inahusu kutaka kumtaliki mke wangu mpenzi. Japokuwa michango iliyokuwa mingi ilikua bias kuegemea upande mmoja huku ikiambatana na lugha kali zingine zisizoweza vumilika binafsi niliona ni busara kupokea yote hayo kama changamoto ili kuweza kupata suluhu ya huu mgogoro na huyu mke wangu.

    Kifupi ni kuwa hadi muda huu bibie bado sijamkabidhi talaka yake na wala sijamtakia kuhusu hilo jambo. Nimezidi kuwa mvumilivu juu ya hiyo hali yake ya kuninunia hadi hii leo. Kwa kuwa wengi mmesema mimi ndio mkorofi nimelipokea hilo lakini naomba mtambue kuwa mimi sipo hivyo mnifikiriavyo, na pamoja na hayo yote afanyayo juu yangu lakini ndani ya moyo wake anatambua thamani ya upendo wangu kwake.

    Nimefuta wazo la kumpa talaka toka nipate ushauri wenu hasa juu usumbufu wa malezi ambao ataupata mtoto wetu mpendwa lakini jana nikiwa kazini saa 4 asubuhi I was so surprised nilipopata sms kutoka kwa mke wangu akiniambia kuwa yeye anataka akaishi peke yake kwa sasa hivyo nimpe muda ajipange, atakapokuwa tayari ataniambia. Sijamuelewa kwanini aseme hivyo au ni kosa gani hasa aliloona nimefanya.

    KUVUNJA UKIMYA:

    Leo nilikaa nae na kuweza kumuuliza kwa upole na utaratibu huku nikimuuliza kama kuna jambo lolote lile linalomsibu hadi kufikia hatua ya kununa kwa muda wote huu bila kuzungumza nami(akiondoa salamu tu ..ambayo mimi ndio huanzisha hiyo salamu). Wapendwa wana MMU huwezi amini...kwa kujiamini kabisa ameniambia yeye hana tatizo lolote na huo mnuno wake kwangu ni kwa sababu yupo busy na mambo yake. Kwa hilo jibu nikawa hoi na hata baada ya kumbembeleza awe muwazi kama kuna jambo namkwaza amesema hapana ila yeye yupo tu busy na mambo yake.

    Kuhusu kunitumia msg amesema hiyo niielewe hivyo hivyo ..kuwa anataka akaishi peke yake na kwa sasa anajipanga na atakapokuwa tayari ataniambia. Nikamuuliza usemayo ni sahihi au unatania ...amesema ni sahihi tena kwa asilimia mia tatu....!

    HITIMISHO:

    Ndoa ni makubaliano ya watu wawili...wapendanao...kama upendo hakuna ...that means hakuna ndoa....ila ni maigizo tu ya ndoa. Kwa kuzingatia ushauri wenu juu ya matunzo ya mtoto nitajitahidi kwa hali na mali kuhakikisha nampatia malenzi/matunzo stahiki. Atakapokuwa tayari na kunipa taarifa kuwa sasa anaondoka hapo ndio maisha yangu ya ubachelor yataanza rasmi.

    NB: Sina sababu ya kuita wazee au wazazi wa pande zote mbili kujadili hili suala kwa sababu ndoa hii ni ya mimi na yeye hivyo kuwaita wazee au wazazi ni kama kulazimisha mahusiano yaendelee na kesho yakitokea mengine tuwaite..tena kusuluhisha...hiyo haitakuwa tena ndoa bali ni maigizo ya ndoa.

    Poleni kwa maelezo marefu lakini nia yangu ilikuwa ni kufafanua jambo hili kwa kina hasa baada ya kupata ushauri wenu.

    Asanteni sana wana MMU.

    @Ngoswe.120
     
  2. Saint Ivuga

    Saint Ivuga JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 15, 2012
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    nakuelewa sana kaka.mimi sijui kama ningeweza kuvumilia kwa siku 11.
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 15, 2012
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    baaada ya miezi miwili utajua for sure nini ufanye
    hiyo idea ya kutengana miezi miwili ni safi
    talaka sio mbaya lakini usikimbilie hebu peaneni space kwanza
     
  4. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 15, 2012
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    vumilia hizo post natal moods swings, blue feelings etc, kwa wengine huweza endelea hadi mwaka mzima.

    Kua uyaone sio maghorofa.
     
  5. K

    Kubingwa JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Mkuu unaonekana u mwingi wa jazba! Pole lakini,ila unahitaji kutumia busara na kutafakari upya maamuzi yako.Unadhani mtoto nani atamlea,yeye pekee yake na je atamudu? Ingawa ulishakuja na kuomba ushauri kipindi cha ujauzito,bado yapo maswali lukuki.
    1.Ulilazimishwa kuoa?
    2.Ulikutana naye?
    3.Nini malengo ya ndoa yenu haijalishi mmeifungia wapi.
    Na mwisho,usiwatishe wale ambao hawajaoa/kuolewa maana si wote wanaishi kwenye ndoa wanakumbana na la kwako ingawa we learn from others.
    Cha muhimu tumia hekima na busara katika uamuzi wako.Mimi naona cha muhmu SUBIRA,MKUU!
     
  6. F

    Flowereddy Member

    #6
    Feb 15, 2012
    Joined: Oct 12, 2011
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    Mhh! unawashauri ambao hawajaingia kwenye ndoa wasiingie! unataka kutwambia baada ya kuachana na huyo bibie utaishi pekee milele! pole lakini mshirikishe Mungu anaweza kukusaidia katika hili pia.
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 15, 2012
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    hapa tunakusikiliza wewe tu
    angekuja na mkeo labda tungeweza kujua ukweli

    lakini tazama hii title ulivyoiweka.....eti breaking news....

    ni kama unashangilia na ulikuwa na hamu ya kumuacha

    kama huna machungu bali visasi tu....usikute wewe ndo chanzo cha yote...
     
  8. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #8
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Haya mambo yanahitaji tafakuri, naungana na The Boss.
    Pole mkuu, kuna wakati wanandoa inabidi mkubali kutokubaliana, naamini baada ya miezi miwili ya kutengana kila mtu atakuwa amejifunza jambo na mnaweza kupata suluhu au mkayamalizia Bomani.
     
  9. J

    JATELO1 JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Sawa na pole kwa yaliyokukuta. Lkn ushauri wako (hapo kwenye red) siyo mzuri kabisa kwa jamii, kwani haimaanishi kwamba ndoa ikikushinda wewe basi kila mtu hawezi kuwa na amani na furaha kwenye ndoa. Wewe kwa kipindi chote hicho hata Diplomasia umeshindwa na kujua proper approach ya kuondoa hizo kero then unafikia kutoa ushauri kama huo. Vipi umejiuliza japo swali moja kwamba kama wote wangekuwa na ushauri kama wako hali ingekuwaje Duniani?

    Kumbuka kila mtu ana changamaoto zake na kila kitu ina changamoto zake, hivyo kinachohitajika ni namna gani mtu ataweza kuja na namna nzuri ya utatuzi. wewe ukishindwa haimaanishi kwamba kila mtu ameshindwa au atashindwa. Hakuna theory ya Generalization kwenye maisha ya ndoa kama unavyotaka tuamini.

    Napenda nikushauri ya kwamba, inapotokea mwanafunzi mmoja anafeli Hesabu darasani, hiyo siyo sababu ya kuacha kufundisha darasa la wanafunzi 100 kwasababu mmoja tu kashindwa kwasababu anazozijua yeye.
     
  10. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Yaweza kuwa sahihi kwa hayo usemayo lakini kwa hali ilivyo nadhani naweza kufa kabla hata ya huo mwaka kwisha...imagine hapa nilipo ntamani hata kulala kazini....sasa kuvumilia kwa mwaka mmoja si nitakuwa nimesha kufa kwa presha my sister....? imagine ungekuwa wewe ungefanya nini? be sincere plse!
     
  11. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 15, 2012
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    Ni sahihi hayo usemayo mkuu lakini kwa muono wangu na kwa haya yanayonitokea , na mengineyo tunayoyasoma humu jamvini ....ni dhahiri kuwa taasisi ya ndoa ni ngumu sana na yahitaji moyo wa chuma....hata mzee mtambuzi jana alitoa sred ikionyesha ugumu wa ndoa na changamoto zake mkuu....ushauri wako nimeuelewa kaka.
     
  12. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 15, 2012
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    sikujua mnuno unaua...,

    ningekuwa mimi ningetafuta guest house nilale kwa muda wa miezi miwili....
     
  13. m

    mkazamjomba Member

    #13
    Feb 15, 2012
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    kwa kweli naomba umpe miezi 3 akapumzike usifanye hasira ndio maana kina mama huwa baada ya kujifungua tunapewa miezi 3 ili kichwa kitulie uliwahi kusikia kichaa cha uzazi unaweza mlaumu pengine kinamwanza nenda cinic uwapate wale madoctor wa kina mama watakushauri
     
  14. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 15, 2012
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    sawa mkuu, nimewasoma vema mawazo yako na boss, sina uhakika sana endapo kutakuwa na mabadiliko maana nahisi huenda ni inborn behaviour ambayo kipindi kabla sijajifunga kitanzi cha ndoa alikuwa anaogopa kunionyeshea. Anyway nitazingatia ushauri wenu maana MMU mmekuwa msaada mkubwa sana ktk kuinusuru ndoa yangu.
     
  15. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 15, 2012
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    :nono::nono:......Kosa moja halimaanishi kuwa basi wale wote wanaoingia/wanaotaka kwenye ndoa.....kuoa/kuolewa will face the same music you've faced problems differ from people to people, there are ones which can be resolved and there are ones which cant be solved, so i suggest you'd rather not compare your situation in regards to others..thou it's good to share...
     
  16. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Jamani shemeji hebu kuwa na subira mbona uvumilivu wako uko haba sana
    1.Je umekaa kitako na mkeo kumuuliza ana matatizo gani akagoma kutoa ushirikiano?
    2.Na Je umemwambia kuhusu mpango wako baada ya yeye kuwa amebadilika?
    3.Je umeweza kuwashilikisha watu wako wa karibu ili waongee na mkeo kujua ana matatizo gani kama wewe umeshindwa
    Loh Mtoto bado mdogo huyo jamani anahitaji mapenzi yenu wote,
    Unaweza kuta mwenzio ana matatizo ya Kisaikolojia baada ya ujauzito na hatua nzima ya kupata mtoto.
    Mungu akuongoze katika maamuzi haya unayokwenda kufanya
     
  17. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Madam habari ndio hiyo hapo, so niende kulala guest 2 month si bora ni-msend kwao mkuu. Umeniacha hoi na signature yako hapo chini ....lol..
     
  18. Maundumula

    Maundumula JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Baada ya miezi miwili au mitatu ndio utajua kama kuna pengo ameacha kwa kutokuwepo kwake au hapana.Nakushauri usubiri kwanza hadi hiyo miezi 3 kufanya uamuzi wa talaka kama alivyosema Boss hapo
     
  19. NGOSWE.120

    NGOSWE.120 JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Shemeji mimi ni mvumilivu sana tena sana, na kiukweli nakuambia wazi hata yeye ndugu yako anajua nampenda.....so huenda hilo nalo lachangia yeye kuwa na kiburi....si unajua tayari ameshakabidhiwa hati miliki ya ndoa?

    Kifupi nimemvumilia sana, so nataka hiyo miezi miwili aende mgombani kule...najua after few days atakumbuka mema yangu yote na hiyo huenda yaweza kuwa dawa ya kumbadilisha.

    kuhusu kuongea naye nilishaongea naye sanaaa kipindi kile akiwa mja..mzito na kidogo nimpige but ushauri wenu ulinisaidia sana na nikawa mpole.....so shemeji hivi kila siku nifanye kazi ya kutoa lecture tu kwa mdogo wako kweli? ina maana yeye hamnazo kabisa? hajui kuwa mtoto anahitaji malezi ya baba na mama?

    nioneee huruma shemeji yangu plse nateseka mwenzio!
     
  20. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Kha! haya yote umeyafanya ukiwa umeyatanguliza maslahi yako wewe kwanza................hukumuangalia yeye wala hata huyo malaika mwanenu......atalelelwa vipi?
    Unataka akjifunze kuita baba kwa baba wa kambo?
     
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