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Jokes Za Kibongo

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kana-Ka-Nsungu, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 19, 2008
    Joined: Oct 4, 2007
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    Matani ya ki-bongo
    1. Ati wee ni m-black mpaka ukiingia kwa dinga, dirisha zinakuwa tinted!
    2. Kwenu kuchafu mpaka mende zinatema mate, ati ‘THU’ hii hao (HOUSE) ni noma.
    3. Vile wewe mfupi, ukipigwa picha ya passport inatokea full.
    4. Kwenu nyi wakristu hata dogi zenu zikiona mwizi anaiba, zinawaambia “wee iba tu Mungu anakuona.”
    5. Ati hao(house) yenu ina gate lakini hakuna fence.
    6. We' ni mshort mpaka ukikalia kwa pavement(sakafuni) miguu ina hang kwa hewa.
    7. We mjinga mpaka ulifail blood test.
    8. Wewe ni mblack mpaka mosquito ikitaka kukuuma lazima itumie torch.
    9. We ni mrefu mpaka ukikunywa maziwa inafika kwa tumbo ikiwa mala (MGANDO/MTINDI) .
    10. Wewe ni mweusi ukikanyanga makaa unawacha footprint za blak kwa makaa.
    11. Nyanyako(bibi yako) mzee mpaka chawa za nywele yake hutembea na bakora.
    12. Ati nyinyi ni wengi nyumbani kwenyu yaani buda(baba) yenu hajui majina mpaka huwa address kama wananchi. (KAMA RAISI ANAPOTOA HOTUBA)
    13. TV yenyu ni Ndogo lazima ufunge jicho moja ndio uone picha.
    14. Wewe mblack mpaka unasweat soot.
    15. Wewe mnono mpaka ukivaa yellow watoto wanafikiria ni schoolbus.
    16. Manzii wako ni m ugly mpaka alikataliwa ku act horror(movie ya kutisha) Hollywood.
    17. Nyumba yenyu ni ndogo mpaka lazima utoke nje kuchange mind.
    18. Kwenyu nyinyi ni wengi mpaka kwa hao(house) kuna round-about.
    19. Kwenyu nyinyi ni wa daft (WAJINGA) mpaka kupata driving license ilibidi mpelekwe boarding school.
    20. Nywele za watoto wenyu ni ngumu mpaka mnazitumianga kama steel wool.
    21. Mko wengi kwa hao(house) mpaka kuna rush hours na kukinyesha kunakuwa na jam.
    22. Wewe ni mshort mpaka ukishuka kutoka kwa zile vitanda double decker lazima utumie parachute.
    23. Ati TV yenu ni ndogo hadi wasee wa news huanza kwa kusema ..ati Munatuona jamani?
    24. Sistaako ni ugly mpaka monkey ikampatia ndizi.
    25. We mblack mpaka ukikutana na mzungu afternoon anakushow good evening?
    26. Ngombe yenu mzee mpaka inatoanga yogurt
    27. Kwenu kumekauka mpaka ngombe yenu hutoa milk powder.
    28. Wee ni mzee mpaka ukiumwa na mosquito zina tema mate
    29. Paka yenu noma mpaka iki shika panya inaitisha chumvi, fork na pilipili.
    30. Kwenu nyinyi ni wengi mpaka mkipigwa family photo wengine wanatokea kama wame hang(ning’inia) kwa frame.
    31. TV yenu ndogo mpaka wasee wa News(watangazaji wa habari) wame piga magoti.
    32. We mrefu mpaka ukianza kuvaa underwear mbichi by the time ifike kwa magoti ime kauka.
    33. Nyumba yenu ni chafu mpaka cockroach huvaa slippers(malapa) .
    34. Budako(baba yako) ni fala, alienda ku buy ngombe akaona ikikojoa akasema, sitaki hiyo, imetoboka.
     
  2. Nzokanhyilu

    Nzokanhyilu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 19, 2008
    Joined: Feb 19, 2007
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    KKN,
    Wife today kakudeny gemu ati? Maana naona kiswahili cha kenya unataka utuingize mujini kwamba iko ya bongo?
    Ila ni safi. Nice one.
     
  3. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 20, 2008
    Joined: Oct 4, 2007
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    Kaka Nzoka unauliza makofi polisi?
     
  4. Shy

    Shy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 20, 2008
    Joined: Nov 2, 2006
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    Hizi Sio Za Kibongo Ni Za Kenya Huoni Hata Lugha Jameni

    Zilitoka Mwaka 2005
     
  5. Nzokanhyilu

    Nzokanhyilu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 21, 2008
    Joined: Feb 19, 2007
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    samahani afande KKN.Who Haaa masta
     
  6. Domo Kaya

    Domo Kaya JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 21, 2008
    Joined: May 29, 2007
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    Sema Jokes Za Kikenya Na Sio Za Kibongo.
     
  7. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 21, 2008
    Joined: Oct 4, 2007
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    Kenya napo ni bongo tu pia, whats the difference? Hizi jokes zimeandikwa na mbongo kwa lafudhi ya kikenya ili ziwe funnier? Mimi huku mamtoni, mwafrika yeyote namuita mmbongo.
     
  8. Maarifa

    Maarifa JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 21, 2008
    Joined: Nov 23, 2006
    Messages: 1,987
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    Kenya Si Bongo. Je Mwajua The Source Of Tanzania Kuwa Linked Na Neno Bongo???
     
  9. Maarifa

    Maarifa JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 21, 2008
    Joined: Nov 23, 2006
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    Hata ndani ya Tanznia yenyewe still Bongo yenyewe ipo je mwajua ni mji gani? na why? mkipata majibu hayo then mtajua kuwa hakuna bongo nyingine zaidi ya Tanzania na watanzania wenyewe tunajua exactly ni mji gani no Bongo.
     
  10. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 21, 2008
    Joined: Oct 4, 2007
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    Neno Bongo lilianzia kutumika kwa mji wa Dar and I think that is still the case kwa wengi walioko nyumbani, kwa tulioko majuu tukisema Bongo tunamaanisha Tanzania kwa ujumla. Chanzo cha neno hili ni jinsi ambavyo ilikua inamlazimu kila mtu anayesihi kwenye jiji la Dar kutumia 'bongo' yake ili aweze ku survive. Unaukumbuka wimbo wa Bongo Dar es salaam wa Prof J na Jide? Anayeuza cheni fake anapewa hela bandia? Sasa haya mambo sio kwamba yanatokea Tanzania peke yake tu, nchi nyingi za kiafrika zinahitaji bongo ku survive.
     
  11. Maarifa

    Maarifa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 22, 2008
    Joined: Nov 23, 2006
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    Therfore Kenya is not Bongo unless wadese kutoka Tanzania- Dar es salaam. Thanks
     
  12. shema

    shema Member

    #12
    Jan 28, 2008
    Joined: Feb 28, 2007
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    hahaha mweh! ndio maana na mimi nilikuwa sielewi elewi kumbe ni kiswahili cha kenya?

    safi sana.
     
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