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JOB APPLICATION...of a kind!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by blackwizard, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. b

    blackwizard Senior Member

    #1
    Apr 17, 2012
    Joined: Feb 8, 2012
    Messages: 163
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    [FONT=&quot]Dear Sir[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
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    I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager.[/FONT]
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    Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on this one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral and all burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before applying. I can remember you saying on the funeral that he will be very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one at the moment.

    Well it's your lucky day sir; you already have found the best man for the job so look no more[/FONT]
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    It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For that I shall forever be grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early retirement and I guess this serves him well too. A deal that benefits all should be the substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but death is truly very fair.

    Just imagine, the company no longer has to pay his retirement funds. The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation allowance because he was my neighbor and it will be easy for me to simply jump over the wall into that beautiful big company house.

    I also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers' license as I am sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me. And sir, don't even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail. Amiable qualities that speak for themselves.[/FONT]
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    I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV, just verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will be sending my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial so that you can see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for my referees, well the same dead manager was my referee so we can safely skip that part.[/FONT]
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    I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning. Thanks for advertising at the funeral because I could not have known.[/FONT]
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    Yours ever smiling even in tough times.[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot]Toughman Strong.[/FONT]
     
  2. toghocho

    toghocho JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 18, 2012
    Joined: Mar 16, 2011
    Messages: 1,175
    Likes Received: 20
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    i hereby attach his death certificate...hahahahahaahahaah
     
  3. Mapondela

    Mapondela JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 19, 2012
    Joined: Mar 31, 2009
    Messages: 459
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 35
    Jamaa kiboko.....
     
  4. m

    mzeelapa JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 19, 2012
    Joined: Jul 14, 2010
    Messages: 988
    Likes Received: 24
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    Yah, replacement means even early death like the previous employee!! (Due to overworking)
     
  5. P

    Pazi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 19, 2012
    Joined: Mar 5, 2011
    Messages: 2,896
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    tehtehteh hahahaha The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation allowance because he was my neighbor and it will be easy for me to simply jump over the wall into that beautiful big company house.
     
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