Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Jinsi ya Kuacha ku-'Cheat' Mwenzi wako...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Allien, Feb 17, 2011.

  1. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    Jinsi Ya Kuacha Ku-Cheat

    Kwa sababu mbalimbali watu katika mahusiano wanaamua ku-Cheat wenzi wao. Wakati mwingine wanajisikia vibaya lakini hawaachi. Wanakuwa trapped, na hivyo kuifanya iwe tabia yao as long as hajashikwa. Wakati mwingine Cheating inachochewa pia na mahusiano mabaya na mwenzi wako, visasi na migogoro isiyotatuliwa katika mahusiano. Kuna sababu nyingi kwa nini Wenzi Wanacheat, hizo tutaongelea siku nyingine.

    Wataalamu wanasema wakati mwingine ni vigumu kuacha Cheating kwa kuwa ni Addiction hata kama Ku-Chaet si kuzuri. Inasemekana unapocheat unajisikia uko fulfilled kwa namna Fulani. Ili uache unahitaji mahitaji kama: emotional au physical, yatoshelezwe na Mwenzi wako. Ikishindikana kuacha inakuwa ni ngoma nzito.


    Hata hivyo hatima ya mwisho ya Cheating ni kujisikia Guilt; Aibu nk. Cheating haiongezi furaha katika mahusiano. Kwa kukusaidia inawezekana kabisa ukaacha Cheating. Zifuatazo ni dondoo zitakazokusaidia kuacha Ku-Chaeat:

    1.Kwanza kaa chini na jiulize kwa nini Una-Cheat, Hii itakusaidia kukurudishia akili yako ya kibinadamu na utashi juu ya chaguzi zako katika maisha. Kitendo cha kuelewa tu ni kwa nini unatabia ya namna Fulani ambayo huiachi ni msingi mkubwa sana wa kukusaidia kuacha.

    2.Chunguza values zako za maisha na jiulize kama Cheating ni moja kati ya hizo values zako. Hata kama umetokea katika familia ambazo Cheating ni kitu cha kawaida, lakini si lazima ukubaliane na chaguo la familia. Kataa.


    3.Jiulize tena kama Kum-Cheat Mwenzi wako kunakuongezea au kukupunguzia heshima na je kwa kufanya hivyo, unamheshimu au haumheshimu mwenzi wako. Faida yake ni nini?

    4.Fanya marejeo ya mahusiano yako na uangalie ni wapi pana mapungufu katika mapenzi na Intimacy. Hii itakusaidia kujua mahitaji yako ya kimapenzi. Ukishagundua ni rahisi sana kwako kuongea na mwenzako kwa uwazi mahitaji yako ya feelings na emotions. (NB: Tutajadili siku nyingine ni vipi uanweza kuongeza au kurejesha mapenzi kwa mwenzi wako).
    Ongea na mwenzi wako kwa uwazi ni nini hasa anategemea u kutarajia kutoka katika mahusiano yenu ili kuboresha mapenzi na mahitaji yenu. Mweleze kwa uwazi hisia zako ni nini pia unataka kutoka kwake. Make her your best lover and friend. Traet your lover. Spoil her.


    5.Achana kabisa na kata mawasiliano ya mara kwa mara na Kimada wako ya SMS na ya Simu. Acha kuwasiliana naye kwa email na kuchat online. Mblock au badili ID. Mpotezee. Ni kazi lakini kuwa jasiri. Inawezekana.

    6.Kumbuka unaye Mwenzi na Familia yako ambao wote wanakupenda; kukuthamini na kukuheshimu na kuwa una Ahadi nayo. Hao ndiyo source peke yake ya furaha na Amani ya kweli kabla hujafa.

    7.Achana na kufikiria mapungufu uliyonayo na vipi utayapata kwa njia haramu na jizuie hisia zako za kukutana na Kimada wako na weka azimio la kuachana naye. Mweleze ukweli Kimada wako kuwa huwezi kuendelea na uhusiano huu. Ataumia, lakini ni bora kwa Mwenzi na familia yako kama unaipenda.

    8.Kumbuka huwezi kuacha Cheating mpaka umechukua uamuzi huo “Mzito” wa kuacha. Usisubiri “The right moment” ili uache Ku-Cheat. Just stop. Just Do It Right Away, Now. Immediately.


    9.Fikiria madhara ya Ku-Chaet yatakuwa nini utakapokamatwa. Aibu na fedhea na guilt.

    10.Kutana na rafiki zako wa Kike na wa Kiume ukiwa na Mwenzi wako na usifiche kitu. Usiwe na miada yap eke yako unless ni very genuine. Uvae utu upya kwani wa kale umekwisha.

    11.Angalia jinsi ambavyo wewe, mwenzi wako na familia yako mlivyobarikiwa. Je huna shukrani? Ndo jinsi ya kushukuru kwa ku-Cheat?

    12.Acha kabisa kum-criticise mwenzi wako na kumlinganisha na Kimada wako. Heshimu sana hisia na TRUST ya Mwenzi wako na Tumia muda mwingi na Mwenzi wako na Familia. Pia jizuie kuwa negative juu ya maisha yenu na mahusiano yenu. Stay positive and focused.


    13.Kama unafikiri Kimada wako ni bora kuliko mwenzi wako wa sasa, napenda kukujulisha kuwa ni aslimia 5% ya mahusiano ambayo yanatoka na Cheating yatafanya kazi. Kwa hiyo hutaenda popote. Stop. Acha ubinafsi na mrudie mwenzako na muumba wako. Huna haja ya kuleta msongamano ndani ya mapenzi. Jiweke pembeni na mpenzi wako wa Ahadi.

    14.Kwa kumwacha Kimada wako huwezi kufa bali utakuwa na Amani moyoni. Hata kama utaona ni vigumu kumwacha. Just stop. Katika kipindi cha wiki 3 baada ya kufanya uamuzi “Mzito” utakuwa umeshafaulu kiakili na utaweza ku-overcome feelings za withdrawal.

    15.Chukua muda kufanya matengenezo na marekebisho katika ndoa yako. Jifunze jinsi ya kufanya mambo tofauti. Kama huwezi kukubaliana na hilo basi utawezaje kuacha. Fanya maamuzi sasa.

    16. Mrudie Muumba wako. Tubu. Omba msamaha kwa muumba wako. Anza maisha yako upya. Shiriki katika mambo ya mungu na kijamii. Find new interests kufidia muda na pengo "hewa" la Cheating"

    Allien
     
  2. SHERRIF ARPAIO

    SHERRIF ARPAIO JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Aug 25, 2010
    Messages: 6,380
    Likes Received: 1,155
    Trophy Points: 280
    Somo zito mkuu na nashukuru kwa ushauri wako. Nitazifanyia kazi hizi hoja.
     
  3. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    LOL Mkuu umenichekesha . . .

    Kwani wewe ni active member sasa hivi?
     
  4. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
    Messages: 2,056
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 135
    Hii ni nondo ya haja inayohitaji utekelezaji, asante mkuu!!!
     
  5. Jaluo_Nyeupe

    Jaluo_Nyeupe JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Dec 21, 2010
    Messages: 2,137
    Likes Received: 265
    Trophy Points: 180
    Baada ya kupata lawama kwenye post ya kufundisha watu ku-cheat sasa waliokulaumu watakuwa wamekuelewa. Yaani kama vile fundi lazima ajue kujenga na kubomoa pia.
     
  6. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    Tuko pamoja Mkuu BL.

    Respect.
     
  7. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    JN . . . LOL hayo ndo mambo ya JF Mkuu.

    Tuko pamoja na kitaeleweka tu.

    Respect sana.
     
  8. BLUE BALAA

    BLUE BALAA JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Nov 30, 2010
    Messages: 898
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 35
    Mh! Big up baba, I am sure they are alot of victims in this forum. Lol.
     
  9. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
    Messages: 7,289
    Likes Received: 25
    Trophy Points: 145
    Bora uwafundishe kuwa tunawapenda na kuwathamini kuliko hao vimada wao wanakokwenda kula raha wakati wa shida wanarudi kwa wake zao....thanks Mkuu......:coffee:
     
  10. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
    Messages: 3,013
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Asante kwa somo zuri nitalitumia vizuri mpaka mbele ya safari huko!!!
     
  11. coscated

    coscated JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Nov 17, 2010
    Messages: 1,184
    Likes Received: 9
    Trophy Points: 135
    :amen::amen::majani7:
     
  12. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135

    Tuko pamoja Mkuu.

    Respect.
     
  13. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135

    LOL . . . No matter what, Home is always the best and its where u belong.

    Tukimaliza series tunaanza Motivational Talks ya kujenga society ya maadili without Cheaters.

    PIC has a job to do . . . . LOL

    Respect.
     
  14. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    Tuko pamoja LD. I hope wewe si mwathirika wa issue hii . . .
     
  15. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135

    Respect Kamanda!
     
  16. SHERRIF ARPAIO

    SHERRIF ARPAIO JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 17, 2011
    Joined: Aug 25, 2010
    Messages: 6,380
    Likes Received: 1,155
    Trophy Points: 280
    you bet!!
    Nitaanza kujirekebisha kidogokidogo...I'm getting there
     
  17. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 18, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
    Messages: 21,797
    Likes Received: 53
    Trophy Points: 145
    Allien,

    I like this thread and your post number 1, we need to advocate for this tough decision... but a bigger challenge is sometime a partner, you mayd ecide to do all that only to come home to find maudhi yanazidi even more
     
  18. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 18, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135
    One Page.

    Respect.
     
  19. Allien

    Allien JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 18, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Messages: 5,546
    Likes Received: 16
    Trophy Points: 135

    Mkuu; believe me inawezekana kabisa no matter ana maudhi kiasi gani. Tutaendelea kuelimishana how that one can be achieved hasa kama mtu haelewi somo.

    karibu Private Intelligence Club kuna mengi Mkuu.

    Respect.
     
  20. Katibukata

    Katibukata Senior Member

    #20
    Feb 18, 2011
    Joined: Dec 27, 2007
    Messages: 183
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 35
    Umetupatia shule ya maana. Kwa kuanzia, Sasa hivi tu nimedelete contant ya 'kimeo'

    Big up Allien!
     
Loading...