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Jehanamu ya Tanzania.

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Bavaria, Sep 30, 2012.

  1. Bavaria

    Bavaria JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Jun 14, 2011
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    MTU mmoja alifariki na kwenda
    jehanamu. Kufika huko akakuta
    kuna jehanamu tofauti tofauti
    kwa kila nchi. Akaamua
    kuzunguka zunguka ili aweze
    kuipata jehanamu yenye maumivu
    kidogo zaidi.
    Akaiendea jehanamu ya
    Ujerumani. Akamwuliza mtu
    aliyemkuta mlangoni.
    "Wanakufanyaje ukiingia humu?"
    Akajibiwa. "Kwanza wanakuweka
    kwenye kiti cha umeme kwa saa
    moja, kisha wanakulaza kwenye
    kitanda cha mizumari kwa saa
    moja nyingine. Kisha anakuja
    shetani wa Kijerumani
    anakucharaza bakora kutwa
    nzima."
    Mtu huyo hakuipenda kabisa
    jehanamu hiyo. Akaamua kujaribu
    jehanamu za Marekani, Uingereza,
    Urusi na nyinginezo nyingi. Lakini
    akagundua kuwa zote zina
    adhabu sawa tu na jehanamu ya
    Ujerumani.
    Kisha akaifikia jehanamu ya
    Tanzania. Akastaajabu kuona
    kuna foleni ndefu kweli ya watu
    wakisubiri kuingia humo. Kwa
    mshangao usiosemekana
    akauliza, "Jamani kwani humu
    wanawafanyaje?"
    Akajibiwa, "Kwanza wanakuweka
    kwenye kiti cha umeme kwa saa
    moja, kisha wanakulaza kwenye
    kitanda cha mizumari kwa saa
    moja nyingine. Kisha anakuja
    shetani wa Kitanzania
    anakucharaza bakora kutwa
    nzima."
    Akazidi kustaajabu. Akauliza,
    "Lakini mbona kinachofanyika
    humu ni sawa kabisa na
    kinachofanyika kwenye jehanamu
    zingine, sasa kwa nini hapa kuna
    foleni kubwa sana watu wote
    wanakimbilia huku?"
    Jamaa mmoja akamshika mkono.
    Akamvutia pembeni.
    Akamnong'oneza, "Watu
    wanakimbilia huku kwa kuwa
    jehanamu ya Tanzania haina
    umeme wa uhakika, unakatika
    katika kila dakika kwa hiyo kiti
    cha umeme hakifanyi kazi. Halafu
    pia misumari ilishalipiwa lakini
    wala haijaletwa na mzabuni kwa
    hiyo kitanda cha humu ni raha tu
    kukilalia. Na jambo jingine ni
    kuwa shetani wa Kitanzania
    alipokuwa duniani alikuwa
    mtumishi wa umma. Kwa hiyo
    ameshazowea kufika ofisini na
    kusaini kitabu cha mahudhurio na
    kisha kuondoka zake kwenda
    kufanya shughuli zake binafsi."
     
  2. d

    dy/dx JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Jul 26, 2011
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    hahahaha kama kweli vile...
     
  3. mchemsho

    mchemsho JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Jun 8, 2011
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    awesome joke bulldozzer xorry bulldog
     
  4. Kertel

    Kertel JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: May 11, 2012
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    Hu hu hu huuuuuuu
    kwa
    kwa
    kwa kwi kwi kwiiiiiiiiiiii
     
  5. Mlaleo

    Mlaleo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Oct 11, 2011
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    Dah Mtumishi wa Umma kama yule wa pale magogoni yeye ni kuishi kwenye ndege tu... bakora atawacharaza saa ngapi
     
  6. Capt Tamar

    Capt Tamar JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Dec 15, 2011
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    Na huyo mcharaza viboko mwenyewe ni kutoka pemba!!saaasaa nyiee,kawaambieni mfanye dhambi nani? Si nnawauliza nyie atiii?sasa mwanipa mikazi miye hataa sikuizoweaga mieee,sasa mi ntawaacha mkome atiii.
     
  7. Ndibalema

    Ndibalema JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 30, 2012
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    Hii ni nzuri sana aisee.
     
  8. Saint Ivuga

    Saint Ivuga JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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    ahhahaha display reality
     
  9. S

    SILVANUS NJENGA Senior Member

    #9
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Feb 8, 2012
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    umetisha kwa utunzi mzuri
     
  10. Bavaria

    Bavaria JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 30, 2012
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    angekua mzaramo awaseme hadi wafe.
     
  11. S

    Sheshejr JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 30, 2012
    Joined: Jan 14, 2012
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    Ha ha haaa, its the best joke of the day actually....!
     
  12. Swts

    Swts JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 30, 2012
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    Nimeipenda..hahah
     
  13. DAWA YA SIKIO

    DAWA YA SIKIO JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 30, 2012
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    Daah umefanya nipaliwe na serengeti kwa kicheko chenye huzuni ndani yake.
     
  14. DAWA YA SIKIO

    DAWA YA SIKIO JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Sep 30, 2012
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    Daah huyu mpemba ni mvivu over my ritered wife !!!
     
  15. toghocho

    toghocho JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 30, 2012
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    duh, kazi kwelikweli..mbinguni hamna tanesco ati...
     
  16. Mlaleo

    Mlaleo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 1, 2012
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    Ushaambiwa ni jehanamu kwanza lazima utofautishe hizo sehemu mbili.... Mbinguni ni kwa wale waliotenda mema na jehanamu ni kuzimu huko ni kwa wale waliofanya maovu kama haya wanayofanya ccm na viongozi wake...

    Na hayo mateso yanaweza kufanyikia sehemu ulipozikiwa... yasemekana ni chini ya ardhi tuishiyo huko ambapo moto huwaka bila kuzimika tizama milima ya volcano au chemichemi za maji moto tokea karne na karne moto tu....

    Tanzania Tanesco ipo...
     
  17. M

    MTENDAHAKI JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 1, 2012
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    hahahahahahahahahha!!hii kali kama ya maprof na mwanafunzi wao aliyetengeneza ndege!
     
  18. Lucy Godfrey

    Lucy Godfrey JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 1, 2012
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    teh teh teh teh teh te teh
     
  19. ThePromise

    ThePromise JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 1, 2012
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    Ha ha ha haaaa!kumbe kuwa wababaishaji sometimes kuna faida ati!
     
  20. M

    Man soul Member

    #20
    Oct 1, 2012
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    Wap ww?
     
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