Je wajua 'porn' inaharibu msingi wa mahusiano ya kimapenzi?

Kuna virus kwenye computer yangu anaitwa porn,aisee mkorofi kweli!AKILI ZA MBAYUWAYU CHANGANYA NA ZAKO.
 
Mzee Mwanakijiji said:
Porn dominates the internet in terms of hits and income – and now it’s changing the way people have sex. That’s because the only sex education many people get is from pornography. Cindy Gallop has created a website called makelovenotporn.com to help people bridge the gap between their porn experience and their real life relationships.
Cindy is quick to point out that people who watch porn moves in the bedroom are often doing it for good reasons, not bad ones.
“We all get vulnerable when we get naked. People can find it difficult to talk about sex with the person they’re having it with. But we want to please our partner, so we’ll seize on whatever cues we can get. If the only cues available to us are those we find through porn, those are the ones we’ll take.”
Sexual shame
“The difficulty for men is that they are often expected to take the lead in sex. There’s pressure to appear to know what they are doing. They’ll see a porn scene where the man seems to be pleasing a woman rather than simply asking what she wants. And women are often too shy to say something is not working for them,” Cindy says.
“One young man wrote to me ‘I am a 22 year-old male porn user. The problem arises when we’re expected to be sexually experienced and take control in the bedroom. And inevitably try some ‘porn-moves’ to demonstrate our – unfortunately non-existent – sexual prowess. This then results in embarrassment and sexual shame when our partners are less than impressed.’”
Wedding night
Cindy’s site gets a lot of visits from India. “I noticed that a man based in Bangalore tweeted ‘Go to this site: if you are about to get married it could save your life – literally.’ I initially found this odd, until I made a mental connection.”
In India the sexes are relatively segregated. Sex is rarely talked about. Boys and men watch porn and then enter arranged marriages. The bride and groom don’t get intimate until the wedding night.
“Yikes, that wedding night!” says Cindy. MakeLoveNotPorn.com is badly needed in India, I would love to launch an Indian version.”
Pornified
“I talk to twenty-something men who tell me their girlfriends are putting on a performance in bed because they think it’s what the guys want – but it gets in the way of a real connection, and the guys aren’t happy about it.
One young man said to me, ‘I’ve been getting a lot of very pornified blowjobs lately.’ For him there was too much performance, and not enough of a feeling that this was something the woman was really, genuinely, enjoying.”
“What I hear from the women bears that out. One woman wrote: ‘Your website changed my entire outlook on sex in the five minutes I took to read it. As a 27-year-old accustomed to having sex with men in the hardcore porn generation, I actually started to believe that I liked what they liked.’”
Classroom
This is why Cindy Gallop thinks women need to take control in the bedroom and re-educate their partners.
“If our partners don't teach us the ‘whats and wheres’, then porn becomes the default classroom. Communication, honesty and education lead to emancipation.”
Just talk!
How can you start talking about sex? “Just do it,” says Cindy.
“Anywhere. Anytime. I’m serious. Everybody – just start talking about sex. And start talking about it honestly. Parents – talk to your kids. Kids – talk to your parents. Friends – talk to friends. Partners – talk to each other. About what you think, what you wonder, what you like, what you don’t like. Anything. Just talk!”
Everyone quoted in this story gave their permission.
Photo: Cindy Gallup of MakeLoveNotPorn.com
Read more stories about pornography.
Read more information about pornography.

My TAke:

Katika kizazi chetu ambacho mambo ya porn yanapatikana kirahisi yawezzekana tunaanza kuwa na kizazi cha watu ambao wanafikiria sex katika mapenzi ni sawasawa na sex katika porn? Wengine wanalinganisha performance yao na ile ya waigizaji wa filamu kama hizo?
Click to expand...
Porn nyingi unajua hazifundishi namna ya kumridhisha mwenzako!Porn zinasaidia tu kuamsha hisia za kufanya mavituz,tena watu kibao wanoangalia porn huwa hawakumbuki hata kukariri styles wazionazo,mnaelewa bana,msijidai hamjawahi kuangalia!Belivdat
 
Hivi mwanamke au mwanamme ukimkuta mpenzi wako anapenda kuangalia porn unafanya nini? au unatakiwa ufanye nini?

a. Mwanamke anachukulia ni jambo la kawaida kwa wanaume kufanya hivyo na halina madhara yoyote?
b. Mwanamme anaweza kushangaa sana na kuona mke/mwanamke wake ana tabia za ajabu?
 
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