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Je wajua 'porn' inaharibu msingi wa mahusiano ya kimapenzi?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Nov 25, 2011.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Nov 25, 2011
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    Porn dominates the internet in terms of hits and income – and now it’s changing the way people have sex. That’s because the only sex education many people get is from pornography. Cindy Gallop has created a website called makelovenotporn.com to help people bridge the gap between their porn experience and their real life relationships.
    Cindy is quick to point out that people who watch porn moves in the bedroom are often doing it for good reasons, not bad ones.
    “We all get vulnerable when we get naked. People can find it difficult to talk about sex with the person they’re having it with. But we want to please our partner, so we’ll seize on whatever cues we can get. If the only cues available to us are those we find through porn, those are the ones we’ll take.”
    Sexual shame
    “The difficulty for men is that they are often expected to take the lead in sex. There’s pressure to appear to know what they are doing. They’ll see a porn scene where the man seems to be pleasing a woman rather than simply asking what she wants. And women are often too shy to say something is not working for them,” Cindy says.
    “One young man wrote to me ‘I am a 22 year-old male porn user. The problem arises when we’re expected to be sexually experienced and take control in the bedroom. And inevitably try some ‘porn-moves’ to demonstrate our – unfortunately non-existent – sexual prowess. This then results in embarrassment and sexual shame when our partners are less than impressed.’”
    Wedding night
    Cindy’s site gets a lot of visits from India. “I noticed that a man based in Bangalore tweeted ‘Go to this site: if you are about to get married it could save your life – literally.’ I initially found this odd, until I made a mental connection.”
    In India the sexes are relatively segregated. Sex is rarely talked about. Boys and men watch porn and then enter arranged marriages. The bride and groom don’t get intimate until the wedding night.
    “Yikes, that wedding night!” says Cindy. MakeLoveNotPorn.com is badly needed in India, I would love to launch an Indian version.”
    Pornified
    “I talk to twenty-something men who tell me their girlfriends are putting on a performance in bed because they think it’s what the guys want – but it gets in the way of a real connection, and the guys aren’t happy about it.
    One young man said to me, ‘I’ve been getting a lot of very pornified blowjobs lately.’ For him there was too much performance, and not enough of a feeling that this was something the woman was really, genuinely, enjoying.”
    “What I hear from the women bears that out. One woman wrote: ‘Your website changed my entire outlook on sex in the five minutes I took to read it. As a 27-year-old accustomed to having sex with men in the hardcore porn generation, I actually started to believe that I liked what they liked.’”
    Classroom
    This is why Cindy Gallop thinks women need to take control in the bedroom and re-educate their partners.
    “If our partners don't teach us the ‘whats and wheres’, then porn becomes the default classroom. Communication, honesty and education lead to emancipation.”
    Just talk!
    How can you start talking about sex? “Just do it,” says Cindy.
    “Anywhere. Anytime. I’m serious. Everybody – just start talking about sex. And start talking about it honestly. Parents – talk to your kids. Kids – talk to your parents. Friends – talk to friends. Partners – talk to each other. About what you think, what you wonder, what you like, what you don’t like. Anything. Just talk!”
    Everyone quoted in this story gave their permission.
    Photo: Cindy Gallup of MakeLoveNotPorn.com
    Read more stories about pornography.
    Read more information about pornography.

    My TAke:

    Katika kizazi chetu ambacho mambo ya porn yanapatikana kirahisi yawezzekana tunaanza kuwa na kizazi cha watu ambao wanafikiria sex katika mapenzi ni sawasawa na sex katika porn? Wengine wanalinganisha performance yao na ile ya waigizaji wa filamu kama hizo?
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Nov 25, 2011
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    Does this mean I should cancel my Spankwire subscription? Hmmm....lemme think...
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    dah.....yaani hii ni ukweli mtupu....

    watu wasiotazama porn kwa kikazi hiki wanaweza jikuta wamekuwa 'outdated' na
    mambo yalivyo....kumbe it is wrong from the start....

    halafu porn pia inasemwa kuwa inasababisha tatizo la upungufu wa nguvu za kiume...
    kuna ukweli mimi nahisi...
     
  4. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

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    Ni vizuri kupitisha hii link kwa watu wengi hasa vijana na wale ambao wanaanza mahusiano kwa sababu wengine wanaingia kwenye mambo haya utadhani wanaingia kwenye mashindano ya nani anakaribiana kuwa kama bingwa wa picha za porn!
     
  5. JS

    JS JF-Expert Member

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    Nov 26, 2011
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    Very true....asante MMKJJ.
     
  6. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

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    mie bwana naona porn inaharibu watu in tthe sense kuwa mtu anakuwa anajenga picha ya mademu wakali wakali tuu ambao labda in real life hawezi kuwapata. hii pia inajenga expectation ya that kind of beauty/sexyness kwa wanawake wote. basi asipo onana that type utakuta anaenda kwnye porn....it builds unealistic expectations!!!!
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hii sidhani aisee
     
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    soma hiyo link hapo juu niliyoweka
    kuna some truth..
     
  10. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    I read it and I'm not convinced.
     
  11. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

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  12. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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  13. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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  14. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

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    haha haha. Are you running a porn site that you're afraid of losing visitors? Let's experiment. We can't show porn here only because the Mods won't like it. So, how about some photographs of men watching online pornography? Let's get five random guys.

    [​IMG]
    An observation: The top guy looks like Dexter, which is good because they are all obviously serial killers. What's the message here? That porn leads to meth? Too much porn leads to too much masturbation and there's nothing left for the ladies, resulting in sadness and gnashing of teeth?
     
  15. chriss brown

    chriss brown JF-Expert Member

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    100% true,it reduces sexual desire,pia kupungua kwa nguvu za kiume.
     
  16. v

    valid statement JF-Expert Member

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    Ni ukweli mtupu. Tena zaidi ni kwa wale wanawatch, halaf wanajitahidi kuperform kama porn actors.
     
  17. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna ukweli hapo,lakini kuna tatizo,na wala sio moja,lakwanza,jamii imeshavurugika hakuna tofauti kati ya sex na porn,pia hakuna tofauti ya upendo na sex,mtu akikuambia anakupenda unawaza sex baada ya hapo porn inafuata!What a shame!Pili ujumbe huu ni mzuri sana kwa vijana nafikiri tatizo litakua lugha.Hii lugha haieleweki vizuri kwa vijana wengi,ukizingatia wengi hawapendi shule na walf wachache wanaokwenda shule walimu hakuna kama wapo hawaingii darasani,kama wakiingia hawafundishi,wakifundisha hawana ufahamu wa somo husika!
     
  18. kirumonjeta

    kirumonjeta JF-Expert Member

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    Tena sasa hivi ni aibu ukimchukua demu na ukamalizana bila kuzunguka uani unaonekana **** kabisa na hauko up to date,sasa imekuwa fasheni kuruka ukuta.IT IS REALLY BAD.

    Don't quote me!!!!!
     
  19. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

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    Nov 26, 2011
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    jamani, yaani umeongelea mambo ya kuruka ukuta kama ulikuwepo kwenye maongezi ya vijana wawili nilokuwa karibu nao muda mchache ulopita. Mmoja wao ana miadi ya kwenda kubanjuana na kabinti kabichi (bikra kwa mujibu wa wahusika). Sasa wenzake wakawa wanamshauri jamaa eti aanzie mlango wa nyuma ili kurahisisha njia ya kubikiri!! Dah.......nilichoka kwa jinsi walivokuwa wanaelekezana utadhani ndo proper way!!
     
  20. Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel JF Gold Member

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    nimejifunza mengi....
     
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