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Je, Wajua Haya? Wewe uko Wapi?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Konakali, Mar 30, 2010.

  1. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 30, 2010
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Mara nyingi wapenzi tunaaminiana sana kuwa kila kitu kinachotuhusu tunawekeana wazi. Lakini, je wewe mwana JF kwa upande wako, unadhani mwenzio amekuwa muwazi kwako kwa kiasi gani? Je, wewe umeweza kuwa mwaminifu, mkweli, na muwazi kwa mwenzio hadi kumweleza haya yote? Je, huwa tunajua kuwa tunafichana mambo kama haya? Fikiria ni jinsi gani unavyomficha mwenzio kuhusu historia, mwenendo na hali halisi juu yako.


    Relational Issues
    • Time Together - people lie about the reasons why they can't spend time together or see each other ("I am so busy, I have so much work to do, I don't have time right now")....
    • Past Relationships - partners lie about their past level of involvement ("I never really loved her," "I am much closer to you," "I love you so much more than anyone else")...
    • Feelings, Interest, Crushes, and Attraction to Others - people lie about their feelings and interest in others - often includes ex-partners, friends, someone at work...
    • Secret Contact - lovers lie about their friendships, time spent with others, accidental encounters (running into ex), phone calls, e-mails, and text messages with others. Essentially people lie about intimate, but non-sexual contact with someone else...
    • Level of Commitment – people lie about their feelings for partner, uncertainty or doubts about the relationship - not sure really love or want to marry partner or stay together...
    • Flirting with others - people lie about flirting with others...
    • Betraying Confidences - lovers lie to each other about keeping secrets confidential...
    • Hide Time with Others - people hide activities and time spent with others - usually friends or co-workers...
    Sexual Issues
    • Sexual Fantasies – lovers conceal having sexual fantasies about others during sex. Or thinking about sex with someone else - usually the fantasy involves a partner's friend, family member, or a co-worker...
    • Masturbation - lovers lies about masturbating or how often it happens. Men also lie about fantasies during masturbation, using pornography...
    • Sexual Enjoyment - people lie about how good sex with partner is ("You're the best," "That was great!")...
    • Sexual History - lovers lie about the number of past partners, unsafe sex practices, what they have and have not done with others, their virginity, having an abortion, childhood abuse...
    • Infidelity and Cheating - spouses lie about having sex with other people... sometimes it involves issues of paternity...
    • Sexual Orientation - some people lie about same sex contact or interest...
    Negative Thoughts
    • Negative Feelings towards Partner’s Family/friends - people lie about liking other people who are important to a partner...
    • Negative Feelings about Partner’s Physical Appearance - lovers lie about liking their partner's appearance, hair, weight, age, clothes...
    · Negative Feelings about Partner’s Career - people lie about liking or respecting their partner's job, school, career choices...
    • Negative Feelings about Partner’s Behavior/character - lovers lie about liking their partner's kids, habits, personality, sense of humor...
    • Hide Other's Negative Feelings about Partner - people lie about other people's true feelings towards a partner (i.e., my family/friends don't like you)...
    Negative Behaviors
    • Drug Use - lovers lie about past or current drug use...
    • Alcohol Consumption - partners lie about alcohol consumption...
    • Smoking - people lie about smoking...
    • Gambling - lovers lie about gambling...
    Differences
    • Hide Important Beliefs - lovers lie about true feelings on issues (i.e., politics, religion, and pets) in order to get along with partner...
    • Enjoyment of Activities - people lie about enjoying things a partner likes to do...
    Financial Issues
    • Resources - people lie about their income, resources, inheritance...
    • Debt - lovers lie about their level of debit...
    • Spending Habits - people lie about how they spend money...
    Insecurities
    • Physical Appearance/health - people lie about age, weight, health...
    • Jealously - lovers lie about being jealous and snooping...
    • Career Performance - partners lie about how well work, school, career is going...
    • Family and Friends - lovers lie to make family and friends seem better...
    • Love and Emotions - people lie to their partners about feeling vulnerable, scared, and being overly emotional...
     
  2. Mom

    Mom JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 30, 2010
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    is it true?
     
  3. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 30, 2010
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    YES......! How did you be open to your partner about these?
     
  4. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 30, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Yes! I used to lie with past relationships until the tables turned on me! I learned my mistake; I pray It won't happen again especially with the current relationship!
     
  5. Loner

    Loner JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 30, 2010
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    Is it like you will lie in all the categories or just a few?

    I don't need to lie to avoid some one to know me better.... Coz if its who i am there is no hiding place...
     
  6. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

    #6
    Mar 30, 2010
    Joined: Nov 21, 2009
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    Hii mada nzuri sana..Very few couples wanayatekeleza haya
     
  7. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 31, 2010
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    That is why very few commended on it...! But, all in all, this shows the extent you being open, trustworth, fair and honest to your partner.
     
  8. R

    Renegade JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 31, 2010
    Joined: Mar 18, 2009
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    Why lying about past relatioship? Was it affect your present? Where you still dreaming of the past? Was there still something common from the past relationship?
     
  9. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 31, 2010
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    I said relationships; to be precise the last 2. There was nothing in common but i was a fool to think i was at the top of the game mpaka was really beaten on my own game!
     
  10. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 31, 2010
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    That's why most of us lies on these things, but we don't know that we are driving our relationships into danger situations! Most couples fails on the way in life because no one knows other's background well!
     
  11. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 31, 2010
    Joined: Apr 29, 2009
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    Mada hii very sensitive!

    Hii ndo inaua relations nyingi sana siku hizi...Uaminifu kwenye simu umetoweka!
    Kuna talaka mingi sana zimezaliwa kwa habari ya hizi sms, calls etc!
     
  12. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 31, 2010
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    Teh teh; nadhani atakayeanzisha background checking ya wachumba will make a very good business!
     
  13. M

    Mokoyo JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 1, 2010
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    Namshukuru Mungu kwakuwa ya kwangu haitovunjika kwa sababu yoyote ile
     
  14. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 1, 2010
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    Imagine you do this; background checking ya mchumba, and what you discover is exactly what she/he told you...! Will you be than happier or otherwise? Can you be ready now to give your partner about every thing in your background? How much will you lie? The extent you lie may give you a picture on how much she/he lied you too........! Teh teh teh........!
     
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