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Je unaishi kwenye ndoa au uhusiano wenye kukutesa? Sababu ni hii hapa..........!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Aug 23, 2012
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    Kwa mujibu ya kanuni ya mvuto, ni kwamba huwa tunavuta wenyewe kila kitu kizuri ama kibaya katika maisha yetu. Hivyo, hatuna namna ya kuukimbia ukweli huo wa kwamba sisi ndiyo tuliozisababisha hali zote tulizonazo. Kila mtu ana namna yake ambavyo suala hili limejitokeza katika maisha yake, lakini ifuatayo ni mifano ya kuelezea jambo hili.
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    Uhusiano: Hili ni eneo ambapo mara nyingi watu huvuta kile wasichokihitaji, ingawa huwa hawajui kama wanafanya hivyo. Ni ngumu kukubaliana na hili hasa kama uko kwenye uhusiano usio na amani. Ni ngumu mtu kukubali kwamba aliuhitaji uhusiano huu. Ni ngumu mtu kukubali kwamba huwezi kumpata ‘mtu sahihi' kwa sababu au humhitaji ama labda hata hujui namna anavyopaswa kufanana.

    Siku zote kwa kufikiri kwetu, tunawavuta wapenzi wenye tabia tusizozipenda kuja kwetu. Tunafikiri mara nyingi kuhusu wapenzi wakorofi, kuhusu wapenzi malaya, kuhusu wapenzi wasiojiamini. Tunafikiri hivyo, kwa maana kwamba, hatuwataki. Lakini, tusichojua ni kwamba, kwa kuwapa nafasi akilini mwetu, ndiyo tunawavutia kwetu.
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    Kazi: Watu wengi wamo katika kazi wasizozifurahia au hawapati kila kitu walichokitarajia. Inawezekana ni suala la kutokuipenda kazi, kutokupata pesa ya kutosha au labda kutopatana na wafanyakazi wenzake. Ukweli ni kwamba, unavuta vitu vingi ambavyo huvihitaji katika maisha yako ya kazi.

    Kwa kadiri usivyoifurahia kazi, ndivyo ambavyo unafikiria mambo mabaya kuhusu kazi hiyo. Mambo hayo mabaya maana yake unayavutia kwako na utapambana nayo, iwe unayataka au huyataki. Kumbuka, tunavuta yale tusiyotaka kuja kwetu kwa kuyafikiria sana.
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    Afya: Suala hili liko wazi ingawa wengi wetu huwa hatulioni. Kama una afya njema au uzito wa ziada (kitambi), hiyo ni kwa sababu, kwa kiasi fulani unaamini kabisa kwamba unapaswa kuwa hivyo. Kitaalamu ni kwamba, unatoa mtikisiko unaoonesha kwamba una ugonjwa au wewe ni dhaifu. Hii inawezekana ni kwa sababu huamini kuwa unaweza kuishi maisha marefu na yenye afya njema. Inawezekana pia kujikubali kwako (kujiamini) ni kwa kiasi cha chini sana ingawa kwa juu wewe unajiona kuwa sawa.

    Masuala yote haya-mahusiano, kazi na afya yana namna zake za kuyasimamia ili kuepusha uvutaji wa vitu usivyovihitaji. Lakini kitu kikubwa hapa ni kwamba ni lazima ukubali kuwa unavuta vitu usivyovihitaji jambo ambalo kwa wengi ni gumu kulikubali. Fanya uchunguzi wa kina (jitafute) uone ni mambo yapi maishani mwako ambayo hayako kama wewe utakavyo, na jiulize mwenyewe maswali ukiwa na hamu pia ya kupata majibu ya kweli:
    [​IMG]
    Je, unaamini kuwa pamoja na kujiamini kwako, hustahili kupata ‘mwenzi sahihi?'Unafikiri kwamba pamoja ya kuwa na maadili mazuri ya kazi, huna uwezo ama kipaji cha kupata kazi yenye mshahara mzuri au kazi ya ndoto zako? Je, unaamini kuwa unavuta uwepo wa afya njema, siha, kujiamini na kujikubali? Kumbuka, tunavuta mambo yatupatayo maishani kwa kufikiri, siyo kwa njia nyingine. Haya maswali ni mfano tu, na unaweza kujenga fikra zaidi juu ya masuala hayo.

    Jiulize kama katika mambo hayo unavuta maisha unayoyahitaji, au kama unafikiria kitu hiki lakini kinakuja kingine. Ukweli ni kwamba huwa tunavuta maisha tunayoyaishi leo. Hakuna kulogwa au njama. Ukitaka kuacha kuvuta mambo usiyoyahitaji unapaswa kuwaza kile unachotaka kuvuta. Ukitaka kuwa na uhusiano utakaodumu, uliojaa upendo, huruma na wema, unapaswa kutafuta namna ya kuzionesha hisia hizo kwa watu wengine, hata wale usiohitaji kutengeneza nao uhusiano.
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    Ukitaka kazi yenye mshahara mzuri, anza kutenda kama mwajiriwa anayesitahili kazi hiyo. Usiwe tu mfanyakazi mzuri bali kuwa mtu mwenye fikra safi na mwenye ndoto halisi. Kama huna afya njema, basi anza kufanya mazoezi, kula vizuri na uanze kufikiri vizuri. Baadaye mwili wako utabadilika. Acha kulalamikia namna maisha yako yalivyo. Kuwa mtu anayestahili na avutaye aina ya maisha anayoyahitaji, na maisha hayo utayapata.

    Kumbuka sijasema kwamba, hutaugua, sijasema kwamba, hutapata matatizo kazini kwako au kwenye uhusiano. Ninachosema ni kwamba, je, hayo yanayoendelea kwenye maisha yako ndiyo unayoyahitaji? Kama siyo, mbona bado yanakuja kwako tu? Ukweli ni kwamba, kama huyahitaji, hayatakuja kwako. Siku zote utakuwa unakutana na yale unayoyahitaji kwa kuyavutia kwako kwa hiari yako mwenyewe. Bahati mbaya ni kwamba, inawezekana unayavuta ikiwa ni juhudi yako ya kuyachukia au kuyakataa. Kwa hiyo kuanzia leo, badili namna yako ya kufikiri. Anza kufikiri kuhusu yale au kile unachokitaka tu. Kama jambo hulitaki usilipe nafasi wala muda kwenye fikra zako. Kama mzaha, maisha yako yatabadilika kabisa.

    Kwani unaweza, kinachotakiwa ni kuamini na kufanya uamuzi wa kutenda hivyo.
     
  2. j

    jeneneke JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 23, 2012
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    Ngoja ntafakari huku naangali picha nichangia baadae
     
  3. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 23, 2012
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    Mtambuzi kaangalie hiyo movie uliyoweka hapo juu ya huyo dada aliyeshika kitabu
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  4. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Mkuu Mr Rocky, yaani ulichoona ni picha tu ya huyo dada alioyeshika kitabu na siyo maudhui ya huu uzi.......LOL
    Ngoja naiondoa sasa hivi.......
     
  5. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 23, 2012
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    Mkuu Mtambuzi maudhui ya uzi wako wote yamo katika hiyo movie Think Like a Man na sio kwamba nimeona tuu hiyo movie mkuu nimepata na ujumbe kabisa
     
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  6. Mwali

    Mwali JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 23, 2012
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    Michelle, njoo uone, wamekuweka kwenye picha !
     
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  7. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 23, 2012
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    Baba Ngina, ujumbe wako wa leo umenigusa sana... Ubarikiwe sana kwa somo zuri...
     
  8. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    unanivuta? lol
     
  9. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    Hahaha..... Kuna mahali popote nimesema namvuta The Boss??
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    basi hujaelewa
    usiponivuta
    utajikuta unavuta 'matatizo' shauri yako lol
     
  11. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahaaa.... Weye sema tuu kama mwenyewe unataka kujivutia kwangu!
     
  12. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mimi huwa ninavuta vitu vizuri na vinavyonukia kwangu
    so kama una sifa hizo usishangae ukajikuta kwangu lol
     
  13. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    Mwali,st Ivuga hajambo?
     
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  14. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    We baba canta leo umekunywa nini,kimpumu? Unaota tu malavidavi.
     
  15. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahaaaaaa.... Kumbe ndio kazi yako hiyo kuvuta vuta...! Basi ndio maana najihisi kuvutwa vutwa kumbe ni wewe ndio wanivuta!!
     
  16. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna watu nahisi wanatongozana hapa.
     
  17. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Hivyooooo eeeh??? Hebu niambie ni kina nani hao tuwajue haraka??
     
  18. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    Neilu na ze bosi.
     
  19. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahaaaa....... Angalia vizuri hizo hisia zako zisije zikakupeleka pabaya Bishanga... Wengine tuna wachumba humu JF usije ukatumwagia vitumbua vyetu mchanga..! Hahahaaaaa..........!!!
     
  20. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Haya ndo mambo Kiranga ameyakemea,shauri yenu!
     
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