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Je rukhsa kuoa mdogo wake marehemu mke wangu?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Paul S.S, Jun 19, 2010.

  1. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

    #1
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    Waungwana nisaidieni, kama mke wangu amefariki na kaniachia watoto wawili bado wadogo, mdogo wa mke wangu akaja kunisaidia kwa muds kuangalia watoto, ikatokea tukapendana na tunahaja ya kufunga ndoa, je imekaaje hii wa jameni?
     
  2. StaffordKibona

    StaffordKibona JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    Rhuksa kabisa
     
  3. Kibukuasili

    Kibukuasili JF-Expert Member

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    Ruksa! Sioni kipingamizi hapo
     
  4. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

    #4
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    Maana kuna baadhi ya ndugu wanapinga sana hasa upande wa mke
     
  5. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

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    Inakubalika kabisa haina shida. hakuna kikwazo cha ndoa hapo. Tena itasaidia sana katika kutunza watoto wa marehemu dada yake: atawatunza (bila shaka) kwa upendo mkubwa zaidi.
     
  6. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

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    Inategemea na hao ndugu mila zao, na pia mazingira ya Kifo cha huyo ndugu yao pamoja na tabia zako wewe mwanaume. Wengi wanapinga hali hii kwa tafsri ya dhana ile ile ya kurithi mke/mume wa nduguyo hasa kwa wakati huu.

    Kama mshaingiliana kimwili na huyo mdogo mtu, kuoa inakuwa ni kuhalalisha tu kuishi nae moja kwa moja lakini hata kama ndugu wakipinga ukiendelea kukaa nae na kushiliki nae kimwili kwa stahili hiyo unayosema "mnapendana" na kama analea watoto wa dadae, hakuna tofauti na kuoa.
    Cha msingi, ni mwema ujaribu kutumia watu wenye busara ili wajaribu kuwashawishi hao ndugu wanaopinga ikiwa ni pamoja na kuelezea athari kwa watoto na hata mahusinao yaliyokuwepo kati ya familia zenu iwapo ukimleta mke mwingine.

    Huyo mdogo mtu anaweza kuwa afadhali kidogo kwa watoto wa dadae na hata kwako kuliko akija mwingine ambaye pengine ni vigumu kuweza kuisoma historia ya familai yako.
     
  7. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

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    Japo si mara zote kwa wanawake kuwa na moyo huu wa kuendelea kupenda kwa dhati watoto wa mwanamke mwenzake iwapo nae atakuwa na watoto. Inasemekana kuwa wanawake wanapenda zaidi watoto wao wenyewe waliowazaa kwa uchungu.
     
  8. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

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    Kwa mujibu wa jamaa yangu mwenye issue hii, kifo kilitokana wakati wa kujifungua, tatizo wanadai inawezekana jamaa alikua anakula kabla ya kifo, maana amewai kuishi nao wakati anasoma chuo fulani,
    pia wanadai ni aibu kuoa ndugu
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 19, 2010
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    ...aaaaaaaaaaah bana, umeanza vizuuuuuri halafu huku mwisho unaanza kuharibu. Be responsible bana, kama ni wewe tukujibu wewe...ukisema ni jamaa yako utaulizwa msimamo wako. Anyway,...

    Mimi, ningewapa somo Nia, Sababu na Uwezo wa kumuoa mdogo mtu.
    Mazingira ya kifo yapo wazi, huwezi wapendezesha ndugu wote, jali lililo na faida kwako,...
    Bi mdogo na watoto wenu.
     
  10. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 19, 2010
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    Hapa ni utata mzee, kama si wewe (jambo ambalo sina shaka sana), mwambie jamaa aache hiyo kitu. kama si muda mfupi tu mkewe kafa na anaonyesha nia ya kuoa mdogo mtu, ndugu ni lazima watamtafsiri vibaya sana na haya ni baadhi tu ya mengi ktk huo uhusiano wataona:

    (i) alikuwa anapiga huyo mdogo mtu kabla ya kifo cha mkewe
    (ii) yeye na huyo wa mdogo mtu wamehusika kwa hali moja au nyingine kwa kifo cha marehemu
    (iii) hakuta kuwa na uaminifu wa dhati mara baada ya jamaa kuoa huyo dada kwani kama alikuwa anapiga wakati mkewe yupo, basi tabia zake, huyo dada atakuwa anazijua kuwa ni "mkwale" wa kutoka nje ya ndoa (iv) ni rahisi kuleta uhasama kwa wanafamilia iwapo ikitokea huyo dada atashindwa kuishi vizuri na watoto wa marehmu nduguye, maneno yatakuwa mengi na taswira ya watoto hao siku za usoni inaweza kuja kuwa si nzuri juu ya huyo dada japo ni ndugu wa katibu wa mama yao.


    Jamaa anaweza kupoteza heshima huko ukweni na akashindwa hata kuwatembelea au kutembelewa na wakwe zake kwani wazazi watakuwa wakimuona na huyo mdogo mtu wameambatana kama wapenzi wa dhati, wanatakuwa wakimkumbuka sana marehemu mtoto wao na kuona jamaa hakumpenda kwa sana huyo marehemu.
     
  11. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

    #11
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    mkuu umesoma vizuri neno la tatu katika post yangu? nimetumia neno kama.
    by the way sioni sababu ya kukwepa majukumu yangu. thanx for your advice
     
  12. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

    #12
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    Mkuu point noted,
    kama nilivyoeleza awali, jamaa anaishi Dar na kunawakati mdogo wa mkewe alitoka kwao Moro na kufikia kwa jamaa kwa mada wa miaka 2 akisoma kisha akarudi Moro, Baada ya kifo ndungu zake wenyewe wakamwambia aje kumsaidia huose girl wa mshkaji kusimamia watoto kwa muda hadi hapo atakapo kaa sawa. Ndani ya miezi tisa aliyokaa pale wakaanza kamchezo kachafu, baadae wakaamua wfanye kweli ndipo balaa likaanza hapo,
    wanahisi tu kuwa pengine jamaa alikua anakula toka zamani ndio maana.
    Hata hivyo nadhani point ya kutumia wazee wa busara ninzuri pia maana jamaa kakolea sana
     
  13. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi sioni ubaya kwanini msioane. Nimekutana na nyingine inafanana kidogo na hii. Mke na mume wameoana wanaishi UK na wanaishi na mdogo wa kiume wa Mume. Mdogo wa mke ambaye pia ni mwanamke alienda kuwatembelea hivi karibuni na kufall in love na mdogo wa mume. Wakauliza ndugu zao kama wanaweza kuwaruhusu kuendelea na mapenzi wao hawakuona tatizo. Sasa penzi limekuwa moto moto vijana wanataka kuoana na ndugu wa pande zote mbili hawana matatizo with exception ya Mashangazi upande wa Mke. Na mke aliandika kwamba Baba yao alishafariki siku nyingi. Sasa sijui hii ya mtu na mdogo wake kuoa nyumba moja nayo imekaaje, lakini kwa maoni yangu sioni tatizo la kaka na mdogo wake wa Baba na Mama mmoja kuoa Dada na mdogo wake wa Baba na Mama mmoja.
     
  14. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

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    Hata hii ni tamu! Haina shida mkuu. Nimewahi hata mimi kushuhudia ndugu wawili wa kiume wakioa wadada wa nyumba moja - tena kwa kufunga ndoa madhabahuni kabisa. Inapenndeza kuolea nyumba moja: uhusiano wa familia hizo mbili unakuwa mzito kwelikweli.
     
  15. T

    The Lady Member

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    kama ni waislam sheria inaruhusu bila pingamizi, ila cha msingi tu mjuane afaya mapema kabla ya ndoa yenyewe maana dunia ina mambo hii.
     
  16. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

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    Duu,siamini kama mtu anaweza kuuliza swali hili?ama kweli tunaelekea kubaya..
     
  17. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

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    Kwa Fikira zako Mkuu ikiwa kama wataelewana baina ya huyo Mdogo wa mke wa marehemu mke wako na wewe na jinsi ya kuwalea watoto, kwa fikra zangu itakuwa jambo zuri sana.Kuliko wewe uende ukaowe mke Mwengine ambaye hatakuwa na uchungu na Watoto wa Marehemu mke wako bora Mdogo wa mke wako kuliko uende kuowa mahali pengine huo ndio ushauri wangu.Ingawa inategemea huyo Mdogo wa Marehemu mke wako ndugu zake je watalikubali hilo suala ukilifikisha kwao?Hapo ndipo panapokuwa Kazi kweli tena kazi mbichi.
     
  18. Madikizela

    Madikizela JF-Expert Member

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    wanaona wivu hao!!
     
  19. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

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    Are theuy sure that they real love each other? Isijekuwa ni upweke tu wa kuishi nchi za watu umewafanya waanze kubanjuana! Wakishaoana wanaweza kuja kugundua kwamba hayakuwa mapenzi, ila tamaa ya kutimiza haja zao za ngono!
     
  20. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

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    Hata kama kaanza kula baada ya kifo ina maana walikuwa wanatakamaniana tangu zamani, it was just a matter of time and space.

    Ila hapa mimi nasema inategemea jinsi ambavyo upande wa mke watavyoichukulia, na pia na mila zao zinasemaje. Kuna dada mmoja mwenye asili ya Kusini mwa Tanzania aliwahi kuniambia kwamba, huko kwao endapo mwanaume atakwenda ukweni halafu akakuta mkewe hayupo labda amekwenda kijiji cha jirani (kumbuka enzi hizo hakukuwa na simu) basi mwanaume huyo hupewa mdogo wake na mkewe kwa usiku huo alale naye mpaka kesho yake mkewe akirudi.

    Sasa kwa mila kama hizo kuoa mdogo mtu wala haina shida!
     
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