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Je, Kuna ulazima mwanamke abadili jina baada ya kuolewa?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Steve Dii, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    WanaJF,
    Ni jambo lililo ndani ya mila nyingi hapa duniani kwa mwanamke ku-acquire surname ya mume wake baada ya kuoelewa. Asili ya jambo hili siifahamu, ila kuna jambo ambalo nimeanza kuliona au kulielewa siku za karibuni. Sina uhakika kama lilikuwepo kwa sana hapo zamani. Jambo hili ni wingi wa kuona wanawake wanaofunga pingu za maisha siku za karibuni hawachukui au kwa namna nisiyoifahamu, hawafungamani tena na kuchukua majina ya ukoo kutoka upande wa mwanamme. Imekuwa kuwaje au ilikuwaje?!!

    Naomba mawaidha yenu katika swala hili. Akhsanteni.

    SteveD.
     
  2. Pundit

    Pundit JF-Expert Member

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    I seriously question sometimes kwamba mwanamke kuolewa period kumepitwa na wakati.
     
  3. BadoNipo

    BadoNipo Senior Member

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    kwa upande wangu me naona haija haja kwa mwanamke kubadili surname yake na kutumia ya mumewe kwa sababu nowdays ndoa nyingi hazidumu kama za wazee wetu wa zamani. leo mwanamke atabadili jina na kutumia la mumewe baada ya mwaka ndoa imekufa, itabidi tena airudie surname yake. ni usumbufu tu kwa mwanamke kwenda kwa wanasheria/mahakamani kuomba kubadili surname mara kwa mara.
     
  4. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

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    -- kwa hiyo ni bora "waishi pamoja" tu?!..... kama inavyotafsirika kule ughaibuni kuwa they're "living together" - no marriage. Au ulimaanisha kuwa jambo hili liwe kinyume ya ilivyosasa...yaani wanawake ndiyo waoe?!
     
  5. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Hili jambo ni kweli limepitwa na wakati maana pale ambapo mwanamke anaanza kutumua jina la mumewe itamgharimu a change of all his doc.involving kutengeneza affidavits and more other stuff kama certificates ambazo zina carry birth name.Nadhani you must have seen wanawake wanao use their own names then wana add MS at the end of their names hii ina mean hataki using other names.
    Hii ya kuuse surname ya mumewe au mwanamume kuuse surname ya mkewe maana lipo hili linakuwa influenced na matrimonial na patrimonial societies.
     
  6. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

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    ... Wakuu, nalikubali hili swala kwamba linalahisisha mambo ya mahakamani mambo yakienda mrama/mlama katika ndoa. Lakini sasa, kutokubali kufungamana na maswala kama haya, kama hili la jina la ukoo, hamuoni kuwa kufanya hivi ni mojawapo linalokuwa kichochezi cha ndoa nyingi kuvunjika?

    SteveD.
     
  7. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Hata siku moja mkuu wala hilo lisikutie hofu.Tena kwa mwanaume mwelewa anapaswa kumruhusu mkewe kutumia her surname.Mimi sidhani kama hili laweza kuwa kichochezi kwa sababu labda inategemea na jamii yenyewe maana hili ni jambo dogo sana.95% of all married women I know use their own surnames and their husbands dont have a problem with that.Usage of husband's name that is a marital name is not complusrory a woman can still keep her maiden name.
     
  8. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Look at this piece of info and read it well.

    Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has dropped the use of her maiden name "Rodham" in her bid for the Democratic presidential nomination.

    Clinton identifies herself as "Hillary Clinton" in her campaign press releases and on her campaign website. The lone mention of her maiden name is in a campaign biography that says "Hillary's father, Hugh Rodham, was the son of a factory worker from Scranton."

    She continues to use "Hillary Rodham Clinton" in her New York-focused press releases and in the Senate.

    Clinton appeared surprised last week when asked why her presidential campaign had dropped her maiden name. Clinton laughed, shook her head and replied: "I haven't, I haven't," before dashing off.

    Howard Wolfson, a top communications adviser to Clinton, downplayed any significance to the change. Asked if it was a strategic decision to drop "Rodham," Wolfson replied: "That's a fair question, but there's no plan behind it."

    The second-term senator and former first lady has emphasised various names in Arkansas and Washington, DC, over the past 25 years.

    Laurie Scheuble, a sociologist at Pennsylvania State University who has studied the choice of last names by married women, says Clinton's decision to drop her maiden name puts her in sync with the vast majority of married women in America.

    "To most people, family means everyone having the same last name," says Scheuble, author of "Trends in Women's Marital Name Choice: 1966-1996" and "Attitudes Toward Nontraditional Marital Name Choices." "She's doing the right thing politically to appeal to the most voters. She's conforming to the social norm."

    Married working women often face a dilemma over whether to retain their maiden name alone, use both their maiden name and their husband's last name or use their husband's last name alone.

    Clinton and seven other married women in the Senate have adopted the names of a husband. Only Clinton and Sen Kay Bailey Hutchison have used their maiden names in conjunction with their husbands' last names.

    Scheuble says her research shows that 95 percent of married women use a husband's last name. Of those, about 25 percent informally use their maiden name as a middle name.

    About 4 percent retain their maiden name as their last name.

    And about one percent legally change their last names to hyphenated names that include both their maiden name and a husband's last name.

    Hillary Rodham married Bill Clinton, her Yale Law School classmate, in 1975 in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

    She continued to identify herself as "Hillary Rodham" in her private legal career at the prestigious Rose law firm in Little Rock as Bill Clinton won statewide election as attorney general in 1976 and as governor in 1978.

    But in 1980, Bill Clinton narrowly lost his bid for re-election as governor, in part because Republican challenger Frank White made an issue out of Hillary Rodham's professional independence in the socially conservative state. White repeatedly emphasised to voters that his wife was known as "Mrs. Frank White."

    After Bill Clinton lost his bid for a second term as governor, the politically ambitious couple regrouped for a political comeback. Hillary Rodham began to identify herself as "Hillary Clinton" amid statewide polls that showed her reliance on her maiden name had cost her husband as much as six percentage points among voters.

    Bill Clinton won a second term as governor in 1982; Hillary Clinton used that name for the remainder of her husband's gubernatorial campaigns and during his 1992 presidential campaign.

    When the Clintons moved into the White House in 1993 and the couple mapped an independent policy role on health care for Hillary Clinton, she began to use "Hillary Rodham Clinton" - a moniker that she retained through eight years as first lady and in her two Senate campaigns in 2000 and 2006.

    Shortly after the Clintons moved into the White House in January 1993, the Gallup Poll asked 1,001 Americans in a telephone survey to gauge Clinton's decision to have people call her "Hillary Rodham Clinton" instead of "Hillary Clinton."

    The survey found 9 percent thought the name change was a good idea, 21 percent thought it was a bad idea and 69 percent said it "doesn't matter much."

    NY Times
     
  9. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Try This as well.

    1. Introduction
    Contrary to popular belief, a woman's surname does not automatically change to her husband's surname upon marriage. Neither will your marriage certificate indicate in any way what surname you will be using following your marriage. A marriage certificate simply records the names of the couple who are marrying.

    After your marriage, it is your own personal choice what you want your surname to be. Your options, which are explained in detail in this article, are:

    Continue using your maiden name.
    Take your husband's surname.
    Change to a double-barrelled surname.
    Take your husband's surname and make your maiden name a middle name.
    "Mesh" your surnames to make a new surname.
    2. Options that do not need a Deed Poll
    The following options do not require you to change your name by Deed Poll:

    2.1 Continue using your maiden name
    If you decide to continue using your maiden name, you do not need to do anything following your marriage because you are not changing your legal name. However, if you wish to change your title to Mrs, please click on this link

    2.2 Take your husband's surname
    If you decide to follow tradition and take your husband's surname, your marriage certificate provides you with the necessary documentary evidence that you have changed your surname to your husband's (as it appears on your marriage certificate). By sending a copy of your marriage certificate to all concerned, with a covering letter, your documents and records will be changed to show your new surname. Please note, for important documents like your passport and driving licence, you will need to send your original marriage certificate - so buy a few extra marriage certificates from your registrar or minister after your marriage ceremony.

    3. Options that may need, or will need, a Deed Poll
    Many brides today are deciding against following the tradition of giving up their surname for their husband's surname because they wish to maintain a link to their family name by including their family name in their new married surname. Options that accommodate this are:

    3.1 Double-barrelling your surnames
    A double-barrelled surname uses both the couples' surnames. The two elements of the new surname can be linked by a hyphen or kept separate e.g. Smith-Jones or Smith Jones. It is personal choice whether a hyphen is used and which order the names are placed - although there is a tradition in some social circles to place the man's surname last. Most couples however decide the order by what sounds better when the new double-barrelled surname is spoken.

    If you decide to have a double-barrelled surname, a Deed Poll is often required. Although some companies and organisations will change their records to show a double-barrelled surname upon presentation of the marriage certificate, many will not, particularly the financial institutions. A Deed Poll will guarantee that your double-barrelled surname will be accepted by everyone without question. Please note, government departments, including the Passport Office and DVLA, now accept marriage certificates as documentary evidence of a woman changing her surname to a double-barrelled surname. The only way to find out if you need a Deed Poll to get your non-government documents and records changed is to contact, for example, your bank, building society, credit card company and mortgage company etc and ask what their policy is for changing your surname to a double-barrelled surname upon marriage. No doubt, in time, all companies and organisations will follow the government's lead and allow women to double-barrel their surname by presentation of the marriage certificate.

    3.2 A further option if you plan to double-barrel your surnames
    If you will both be double-barrelling your surnames by Deed Poll, the cost of a second Deed Poll can be avoided if your husband-to-be changes his surname by Deed Poll before you marry. Consequently, upon marriage, you can take your husband's double-barrelled surname, in the traditional way, by using your marriage certificate as documentary evidence of your change of surname (because your husband's double-barrelled surname will be on your marriage certificate). Please note, your husband-to-be should only follow the above advice if he has sufficient time to get all the documents he will be taking with him on your honeymoon changed to his new double-barrelled surname, for example, his passport, travel documents, driving licence, credit cards etc. We suggest he should apply for his Deed Poll at least two months before your wedding to allow sufficient time to get everything changed before you travel on your honeymoon (he is strongly advised not to travel overseas carrying documents in different names). Your husband-to-be will also need to notify your minister or registrar that he has changed his surname by Deed Poll so your marriage notice can be amended to his new double-barrelled surname. Please note, before your marriage notice is amended, your husband-to-be may be asked to prove he has changed his name "for all purposes" by producing supporting documents such as his passport and driving licence showing his new double-barrelled surname. Therefore, it is advisable to get these documents changed first so they can be taken, with his Deed Poll, to your registrar or minister.

    3.3 Making your maiden name a middle name
    Although most women are happy to take their husband's surname upon marriage, many do not like the idea of totally abandoning their family name and would like a way of keeping a link to their family without having a double-barrelled surname. The solution is to have your current surname added as a middle name. For example, if Sarah Ann WILLIAMS marries Michael JOHNSON, the new name will be Sarah Ann Williams JOHNSON. Furthermore, in recognition of the woman giving up her surname and taking her husband's surname, the man could add his wife's surname as a middle name too. Using the example above, the husband would change his name to Michael Williams JOHNSON. Such name changes can be accomplished by Deed Poll.

    3.4 "Meshing" your surnames
    Meshing surnames is a term used to describe the blending of elements of each of the couple's surname to create a new surname for both of them. For example, if Sarah WILLIAMS marries Michael JOHNSON, they could mesh their surnames to become Sarah and Michael WILLSON (or JOHNAMS). Because meshing can be accomplished by Deed Poll, you could also consider adding your original surnames as middle names, thereby maintaining a link with your original family name. Using the above example, Sarah WILLIAMS would become Sarah Williams WILLSON.

    4. When to apply for your Deed Poll
    If you need to apply for Deed Polls to change your surname, there are two options to consider in respect of the timing of your application:

    4.1 Apply in time for signing on your wedding day
    If you wish to sign your Deed Poll documents on your wedding day (immediately following your ceremony or later at your reception), you should order your Deed Polls at least three weeks before your wedding (this allows for any delays). When you complete your application forms, please write in the comments box the date of your wedding. We will then date your Deed Polls for your wedding day, which looks so much better than hand writing the date. After you sign your Deed Polls after your ceremony, you will keep them safe at home and upon your return from your honeymoon you will start the process of letting everyone know of your change of name by Deed Poll.

    4.2 Apply upon returning from your honeymoon
    If you do not wish to sign your Deed Polls on your wedding day, you can order your Deed Polls upon returning from your honeymoon. You can of course still order before your wedding if you wish, particularly if you want your Deed Poll documents to hand for signing upon returning from your honeymoon.

    5. Changing your title to Mrs
    Regardless of what you decide to do with your surname following your marriage, you will probably want to change your title to Mrs. This section tells you what you need to do for each of the options discussed above.

    5.1 If you will be applying for a Deed Poll to change your name
    If your proposed name change requires you to apply for a Deed Poll, when you complete your application form, you can request the addition of a change of title declaration on your Deed Poll document. Therefore, both your name and title change appear on your Deed Poll. Your Deed Poll Pack will include an example covering letter to use when you notify everyone of your change of name and title by Deed Poll.

    5.2 If you will be taking your husband's surname
    If you choose the traditional option of taking your husband's surname upon marriage, when you send your marriage certificate to all concerned notifying them that you have taken your husband's surname following your marriage, you should mention in your covering letter that you have also changed your title to Mrs.

    5.3 If you will continue using your maiden name
    If you decide to not to change your name following your marriage, but wish to change your title to Mrs, you do not need to apply for a Deed Poll. You simply need to write to all concerned notifying them that following your marriage, you are not changing your surname but have changed your title to Mrs. A copy of your marriage certificate will suffice. Please note, your title does not appear on your passport so there's no need to get it changed.

    6. Making other changes to your name
    If you will be applying for a Deed Poll to change your name following your marriage, you can also take the opportunity to make other changes to your name. For example, you may wish to change, add, rearrange or remove forenames.

    7. Continuing to use your maiden name for work or professional purposes
    With the permission of your employer, it is perfectly acceptable and legal to continue using your maiden name for work or professional purposes. Often, there are clear commercial and career enhancement benefits if you have a good reputation in your profession and are well known to your clients, peers and superiors. In some situations, a change of name at work may be commercially detrimental and your employer will hope you continue using your maiden name.

    If you change your name by Deed Poll and continue to use your maiden name, you are not in breach of the declarations you make on your Deed Poll committing yourself to using your new name for all purposes. This is because at work, you are always acting on behalf of your employer and not in your own name.

    If you are self-employed, you can continue to trade in your former name. Legally, your will be [New Name] trading as [Former Name].
     
  10. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Kutumia surname/jina la mume wakati mwingine inatokana na ile excitement ya kuitwa mke wa fulani ( Mrs...xyz)... its a title!
    Lakini kiafrika na hasa kitanzania katika makabila mengi mwanamke hakubadili jina kuassume surname ya mumewe... hii ni moja ya athari za ukoloni.Nijuavyo, mwanamke alikuwa anaitwa " binti" fulani...hakukuwapo na title ya "Mrs" kama tuonavyo siku hizi.Angalia wenzetu wanaotoka sehemu za pwani bado wanaendeleza utamaduni huu kama sikosei.

    Wanawake wengi kwa sasa wameanza kuelewa na kubakiza majina ya ukoo wanakotoka..na ikibidi basi anaongezea surname ya mume baada ya ile ya kwao ( double surname)
     
  11. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

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    with these frequent divorces and re marriages i dont know how many times someone will have to change their docs .... its indeed old fashioned ... dont even know who came up with the idea in the first place ... they must have adapted this from the slave trade
     
  12. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Wewe umekosa shabaha kweli!
     
  13. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

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    No my dear ... i consider that kwanza kama ujinga of the highest order ... never sold my father's name ... i remained naima omari mpaka leo .. didnt lose anything
     
  14. Richard

    Richard JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi nadhani ndoa siku hizi imekuwa ni "fashion".

    Hata hivi juzijuzi tu pamezuka habari kwamba Jenipher Lopez nae baada ya kujifungua watoto wazuri wawili nae haelewani na baba watoto Antony.

    Nafikiri suala la ndoa linabaki palepale kama ni la kisheria ijulikane na society yenu kwamba ninyi watu wawili ni mume na mke bila kujali mwanamke kaoa au mwanamme kaoa mke kama unavyosema mkuu Steve D.

    Jana nilijikumbusha tena movie ya "What Love is Got to Do with It" ya Tina Turner na mumewe Ike Turner.

    Ni movie nzuri na tu yenye kutoa funzo kubwa kuhusu nini maana ya ndoa na ni matarajio gani yanakuwepo mnapoungana kama mume na mke.

    Bila kueleza sana ni kwamba Tina aliposema kwamba anahitaji "Divorce" alisema kwamba anataka kuendelea kutumia jina la Turner kama surname yake na akadharau kila kitu kingine zikiwemo recording rights na vingine.

    Kwa hio inategemea na mahusiano ya ndoa hio iwe ya Madonna na Guy Richie ambao wanatumia sirname zao au Eva Longoria Parker (zamani Eva Longoria) na mumewe basketballer Tony Parker ambao wameona Eva atumie sirname ya mumewe.
     
  15. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Unajua ukishajijua wewe ni wa frequent marriages and divorces kama JLo you dont need to change your name.
    the movie about Tina Turner is beautiful Richard I love it too.
     
  16. Richard

    Richard JF-Expert Member

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    Hio movie ni super na ina funzo sana.

    Kwa hio mkuu unamaanisha kwamba kinachoangaliwa karne hii ni intention ya ndoa na si mapenzi ya kweli ambayo yanajali ku-share responsibilities?

    Mimi nafikiria sana the former kwani inategemea na mazingira ya kukutana kwenu na uamuzi wowote utaotoka hapo ndio utaathiri the rest of your lives iwe mko pamoja au vinginevyo.
     
  17. Ibrah

    Ibrah JF-Expert Member

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    Steve, kwa believers like me ni kuwa kwa manamke kutumia jina la mumewe (Mrs) ni sawa kabisa. Maandiko yanasema "...nao watakuwa mwili mmoja" . Nadhani hiyo ndo asili ya Wanawake kutumia majina ya waume zao.

    Tatizo la nyakati zetu ni hizo movement za wanawake ambazo nyingi zinawatoa wanawake kweny mitazamo chanya na halisi na kuwaleta nje ya mtazamo tradional kuhusu familia.
     
  18. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

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    Kevo .. nobody marries with the intention ya divorce ... believe me most of the time they come untimely .. watu wanadivorce after 25 or less/more years kwenye marriage .... married couples always project their lives together as as perfect and that each of them bila hiari ameamua to take the other as the better half in sickness, health and whatever ... can all these perfect words be wrong ???? no ... something just goes kaput somewhere and if one of you cant contain this .. .then the marriage is on rocks ... in this perspective and with "prevention better than cure" in mind ... you dont acquire his name and you remain undisturbed whatever happens in future
     
  19. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Asante sana kwa somo ila sometimes divorces come timely coz zinakuwa zinasubiriwa.Ulishahawi kumpa mwanaume divorce then akakuuliza "heee ulikuwa unasubiria nini.You took so long!"
     
  20. Richard

    Richard JF-Expert Member

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    Sasa mkuu,

    Nikirudi kwenye swali lako naona nifafanue ninavyoelewa kuhusu "sirname".

    Ni jina ambalo mtu anapewa na kuongezwa katika jina ambalo limetolewa mwanzo na inakuwa ni sehemu ya jina kamili la mtu. Kwa kawaida ni jina la familia.

    Surnames zinaenda na mambo mengi kama vile jina la baba au mama, sehemu atokayo huyo mtu. Unaweza kukuta ukiwaambia watu jina lako la pili yaani sirname huanza kuuliza kwamba umetoka wapi na kadhalika na labda (kama kwenye UFISADI-LOL) je baba au mama yako anafanya hazina karibu na so so na kadhalika, na je watu wenye jina hilo ni wa aina gani?

    Linapokuja suala la ndoa ni kwamba mwanamke ndie anaetoka ndani ya nyumba na kwenda kwa mumewe na hivyo anaenda kuendeleza ukoo wa mume ambae ndie alikuja kuposa.

    Hapo hapo muwe huyo akilini ana ujumbe wa baba yake kwamba ni lazima asimame na ajenge nyumba na atafute mke na aoe ili aendeleze ukoo wao.

    Inaaminika katika jamii zetu kwamba mwanamme huenda akarudi wakati wowote ule pale kwa baba yake kwani bado anahesabika kama ndie kiongozi wa familia hasa pale ambapo baba anafariki na mengine ya ugonjwa.

    Ni pale ambapo kama familia ni ya watoto wa kike pekee, mahesabu huwa ni mengine na hilo ningeomba ufafanuzi wa wachangiaji wengine.

    Ila mtizamo wangu ni kwamba mwanamke anapoteza sirname yake pale anapokwenda kuolewa na ukoo mwingine.

    Hapa nimeeleza kulingana na mila na desturi zetu sisi kama watanzania na sijahusisha mila za kigeni ingawa naona Eva Longoria ameolewa na anatumia sirname ya mumewe Tony Parker, akiitwa Eva Longoria Parker.

    Je tunafikiri ni kwanini Eva amekubali kutumia sirname hio na ni kwa nini Catherine Zeta-Jones amebakia na hilo jina lake ingawa ameolewa na Michael Douglas?

    Tukijua haya tutapata uelewa mzuri wa mambo haya ya kizungu amabyo kuna watu hawalali usingizi wakiyaota.
     
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