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Je ikikukuta utafanyaje?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanaFalsafa1, Jun 27, 2009.

  1. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Juzi hapa tulikuwa mimi na vijana wenzangu. As always vijana wakikaa maongezi mengi huanza. Ikaja topic ya HIV. Mtu mmoja akaniuliza je ukigundua msichana unayempenda sana ana HIV bado utamuoa au utasita? Jibu langu likikuwa sitoweza kumuacha na nitamuoa. Wenzangu wakaanza kusema kuwa nasema tu hivyo kwa sababu sijakutwa na kitu kama hicho. Swali langu ni kama nililo ulizwa mimi. Je ukigundua mpenzi wako ana virusi vya ukimwi bado utaendelea nae au utamuacha? Jibu langu mimi liko pale pale kuwa sitoweza kumuacha nimpendae kwa sababu ya virusi vya ukimwi.
     
  2. Superman

    Superman JF-Expert Member

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    MwanaFA:

    Kwa mausiano ya siku uwezekano mkubwa ni kuwa mtakuwa mmekwisha jamiiana naye. Kama ni hivyo, ni busara wote mkipima. Kama na wewe umeathirika kama yeye ni rahisi kuendelea na mahusiano yenu ingawa kutakuwa na kulaumiana mwanzo kuwa ni nani kati yenu kamwambukiza mwenzake.

    Kama hujaathirika, ni busara ya kuangalia hali halisi. Tuko duniani kuishi bila kuweka risk yoyote. Sina uhakika mtu aliathirika anaweza kuishi miaka mingapi zaidi. Say miaka 20, then what happens there after? Je unamatarajio ya kuwa na watoto? Je mtaendelea kujamiiana? Kama ndiyo vipi kama kinga isipofanya kazi aslimia 100% can you take a risk?

    Tahadhari kabla ya hatari lakini bila KUMSHUPAA muathirika yoyote.
     
  3. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu nimekuelewa. Kwanza mkuu tuchukulie kama mpenzi wako anao na wewe ukaonekana uko safe. Umeuliza je mtaishi miaka mingapi as in regard to life expectancy ya mpenzi wako. Ukatoa estimate ambayo ni 20 years which is just about right kama muathirika akifuata ushauri kwa makini. Lakini dies life expectancy matter? Hata ukimuoa asiye muathirika can you guarantee mtaishi wote zaidi ya miaka 20? Is it about the number of years you spend together or how you spend your time together?

    Kuhusu watoto that's a medical issue which is complicated kidogo but it is possible. Ikibidi nita tafuta articles on that nikubandikie.

    Kuhusu kinga. Mtu akiwa muathirika they must practice safe sex at all times. Japo hakuna kinga yoyote 100% but as long as you have safe sex chance ya kumuambukiza partner wako ni mdogo sana. It's the same risk as any other risk one encounters everyday as a virtue of being alive.

    Mtu ukimpenda kwa dhati naamini utakuwa nae for better or for worse. Na pia you have to put yourself in the person's shoes. Je ungeathirika wewe na ukaachwa na mpenzi wako because of that ungeichukuliaje?
     
  4. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Mhh..mkuu mwanafalsafa...maisha ni mafupi sana kuishi na risk around.....
    First of all kama moja kati yenu akigundulika na HIV ambayo si AIDS.Kuna tatizo hapo ambalo ni la uaminifu..kwa statistis zinaonyesha ukiwa kwa kiwango kikubwa unaambukizwa kwa kufanya ngono.So upendo huo unao uzungumza wakati umetoka nje ukaupata...na unataka uendelee kupendwa..ohh no.Hii nazungumzika kwa male side.The same apply kwa mdada....kama ni mchumba wako..unacho weza ni kumpa support tu ya kimawazo..lakini no futher sex.Hii inakuweka safe sana rather than practise safe sex which is not 100% sure.

    Life expentancy...mzee!! ni nini wataka kusema kuwa hata kama unaishi na mtu mzima huwezi jua atakufa lini kwa kuwa huna guarantee...hii haijastify...kuwa sasa uishi na mtu mwenye HIV.Let say hata unajua gari zima linaweza pata ajari...basi upande bovu?Fanya maamuzi ukiwa bado una nafasi ya kufanya maamuzi.Swali hili hili ukimuuliza mpenzi wako..u will get surprising answer....na mtazamo wako uta twist kiasi.
     
  5. Kang

    Kang JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 27, 2009
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    Nadhani inategemea kama mlikuwa pamoja kwa sababu ya mapenzi ya kweli au mlikuwa mnaoana kwa sababu tu muda umefika.
    Nimeshawahi kuona mixed-status couple moja kwenye TV, mke ana HIV mume hana na wana watoto wawili ambao wote hawana HIV, hawa watoto wote walizaliwa baada ya mama kupata HIV, so inawezekana kuishi pamoja bila kuambukizana mkitumia akili.
     
  6. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Kwani mtu kupata HIV lazima awe amefanya ngono au kasaliti penzi mkuu? Don't worry mkuu hiyo ya kumuuliza mpenzi wangu I already tested that and she gave a good answer and I know it was genuine. All I can say is that thank God we are both HIV negative but even if she was to be positive it wouldn't matter to me(mtazamo wangu tu).

    O.k. mkuu life expetancy is not a justification but wouldn't you rather live a short time with the person you love than live a life time with a person you don't?
     
  7. m

    mbwembwe Member

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    it is true but your not suppose to take risk , even if all people are equal but HIV is another case , nakushauri in couragement is very important than to inter into risk
     
  8. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    KIPI kinaanza.Ina maana watu wanaanza...kisha ndio wanaenda kupima?
     
  9. Junius

    Junius JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 28, 2009
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    Mw'FA,
    Kwangu mm it will be over.
    No way, sita muowa lkn uhusiano unaweza kuendelea wa kawaida tu.
     
  10. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 28, 2009
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    Mkuu sasa kama uhusiano utaendelea hapo kuna tofauti gani na kumuoa tu? Vitu mtakkavyo kuwa mkifanya kama wapenzi si vile vile tu kama mke na mume? Au nimekosea mkuu.
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...sitamuoa wala sitamuacha!
     
  12. Superman

    Superman JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 28, 2009
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    Mwana FA,

    Nijuavyo mimi mambo ya mapenzi ni very personal na uzoefu unatofautiana kati ya mtu na mtu ingawa kuna general cases. Kuna wengine wana very exceptional and moving cases. Kuna hadithi nyingine zitakutoa machozi. Katika post yangu nilikuwa nazungumzia general cases.

    Sasa basi, kama huyo mpenzi wako mlikuwa hamjajamiiana na hakukwambia toka mwanzo kuwa ameathirika una haja ya kujihoji kwa nini hakukwambia. Si hivyo tu, kuna haja ya kujihoji ameupata kwa njia gani na kama ni kwa kujamiiana na wengine, then kuna haja ya kujihoji juu ya uaminifu wake. Mambo yote hayo yatakupa majibu juu ya ukweli juu ya mapenzi yenu. Katika mapenzi ya wanadamu, Love should be a two way traffic.

    Baada ya kujihoji mambo yote hayo na bado ukaridhika kama unampenda, then unaingia katika kundi la exceptional cases. Ninayo mifano michache ya watu katika mapenzi ambao wameachana baada ya moja kugundulika ameathirika. Lakini pia nina exceptional case moja ambayo kuna bwana aliendelea kuwa na mpenzi wake hata baada ya kugundua ameathirika.

    Ni kweli maana halisi ya maisha is not about number of years you live but about quality of life . . . jiulize kama u tayari kuuguzana naye katika kipindi chote. Kumbuka bado kuna external forces za stigma zitakazowazunguka. If you can, then yes, you will go down to the books of exceptional cases.
     
  13. Superman

    Superman JF-Expert Member

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    Wos;

    Kwa vijana wa kileo na kwa tafiti zilizofanywa (Refer TACAIDS Website), vijana wanapoanza mwanzo wanatumia kinga, mapenzi yakinoga kinga inawekwa pembeni after time. Ni wachache wenye ujasili wa kupima. lakini pia kuna ambao wanapima kwanza kabla ya kuanza kutumia kinga.

    So, katika suala hili it is like kuku na yai kipi kilianza?
     
  14. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    Unampenda mtu na unataka kumuoa then unajua ana HIV, hapo naamini akili lazima ichanganyikiwe kidogo. Binafsi,ukweli wangu ni kuwa hata kama nikiwa nampenda mtu siwezi kuolewa nae huku ana HIV.
    LABDA niwe nimeukwaa pia maana siku hizi mapenzi kabla ya ndoa ni kawaida au nisijue kuwa jamaa ana ngoma (kuna watu wengine wanaficha magonjwa na pia hamjapima wote na kushuhudia majibu yenu)..
    Sikatai, nitakuwa kwenye wakati mgumu kufanya huu uamuzi lakini ndo hivyo,tutabaki marafiki wazuri..Heri nusu shari!!
     
  15. C

    Consultant JF-Expert Member

    #15
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  16. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

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    Ukijuwa nini lengo la ndoa, jibu lake litakuwa rahisi sana. Hapo kuendelea au kuto endelea kwa hiyo ndoa kutategemea sana na wewe binafsi nini unataka kwenye hiyo ndoa.
     
  17. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi nita....., nita.........., nita................ ni kigugumizi jamani. Kikiisha nitamalizia nitakachofanya
     
  18. a

    atina Member

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    Mi naungana na Mwana FA,

    Tukumbuke kipenda roho hula nyama mbichi. Kuna wana ndoa kibao ambao wanaishi maisha yao ya ndoa kama kawaida na hali mmoja wao anaishi na VVU!!!
    Nadhani wengi tunaogopa UKIMWI na kudhani unaua haraka, lakini tunasahau magonjwa mengine kama ya kisukari, moyo na yanayofanana na hayo, ambayo kwa mwenye UKIMWI ana nafuu kuliko hayo.

    Halafu mtu yoyote anaweza pata maambukizi ya VVU kwa njia tofauti na ngono isiyo salama, hata wewe unayemkataa mwenye VVU leo na wewe kesho kwako.
    Hebu angalieni ajali za barabarani zinavyopamba moto, pale kuna kupona mtu kweli? Ka

    MWANA FA we kaza buti, umpende tu kwani atapendwa na nani kama sio wewe!!
     
  19. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    MwanaFA
    Nitasema kweli kwani nitakuwa mpenzi wa MUNGU. Ingawa umeuliza kwa wanaume ila mimi kama mdada ikitokea imekuwa hivyo kwa mpenzi wangu nafikiri tutakaa na kulizungumza na nitamwambia wazi how I feel. Sitakuwa tayari kuendelea kuwa naye kimapenzi ila he will be the best friend ever. Nasema hili kwa sababu gani
    1. Kuendelea naye au hata kuoana naye kunanimaanisha kujiweka katika risk (ambayo pengine nilijitahidi huko nyuma kujikinga!) kwa sababu suala la kujamiiana kwa kufuata maagizo sijui kutumia kinga (siliamini sana- what if ikaenda kombo siku moja?)

    2. Kukubali kuolewa naye ni kukubali kuishi bila kupata watoto (dunia ya sasa kumwacha mtoto akiwa na umri mdogo bila ya wazazi ni dhambi kwa sababu jamii haiko kama ile ya zamani ambayo watoto walikuwa ni wa jamii na wala siyo wa MwanajamiiOne na mumewe tu)

    3. Kujiweka kwako kwenye risk ni sawa na kuwakimbia na kuwanyima haki ndugu na wazazi wako ambao pengine wamekusomesha na kukukuza uje uwatunze sasa unapojiweka katika hali hii ina maana muda wako wa kuishi unaufupisha makusudi (ingawa unawezaishi zaidi)

    4. Sipati picha pale ambapo ntakuwa nashughulika je mawzo yangu yatakuwa kwenye upendo wa kweli au ntakuwa nafikiria sijui leo nitaupata?

    Kama muathirika ni mimi basi nitajitahidi kutokuwa selfish kama mwenzi wangu yuko safi nitampa ruhusa awe na mwingine aliye salama na nitampa option ya kuwa best friend kama atataka.

    Si kwamba nanyanyapaa ila nimesema ukweli wangu (MSINIPIGE MAWE)
     
  20. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 2, 2009
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    Asante kwa ukweli wako dada angu.
     
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