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Je Hili ni tatizo? Jinsi gani kulitatua?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by noella, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. n

    noella Senior Member

    #1
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Wandungu habari zenu wote.

    jamani kuna tabia nimekuwa nayo na ninaona inaniharibia mahusiano, either niachwe au huyo niliyenae anione kero.
    ila wandugu niwaambieni, sio kupenda kwangu ni kwamba najikuta tu nabehave hivyo nadhani nina ugonjwa wa mapenzi, hebu wataalamu wanisaidie kunipa jinsi ya kuacha.
    tatizo lenyewe ni wivu uliopitiliza, hapo mwanzo sikuwa hivyo ila jinsi navyozidi kukua ndivyo najikuta nina wivu wa ajabu kiasi kwamba nataka mpenzi wangu niwe nae saa zote, muda wote nijue yuko wapi na nani, na hata kama alinambia yuko wapi basi mi siku zote nitawaza yupo na mwanamke. inanifanya nikose furaha ndani ya mahusiano kwani kila kutwa ni kugombana.
    nisaidieni wapendwa jinsi gani nitaepuka hili tatizo,ni jinsi gani nitatoa haya mawazo hasi kichwani mwangu?
    ushauri wako ndio utanifungua mimi na kunipa furaha tena kwenye mahusiano yangu.
    Asanteni
     
  2. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    hakuna kosa kubwa unalofanya kama hapo nilipo highlite na blue.......na hatari kubwa sana ipo hapo kwenye red....
    jitahidi kujirekebisha.......la sivyo utaishi katika wakati mgumu sana......kimapenzi.....
     
  3. Evarm

    Evarm JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Je mchumba/mpenzio ana tabia zozote za ajabu ambazo huzipendi?? Umeshawahi kumwambia ya kuwa hupendezwi na hizo tabia ambazo zinakufanya uwe na wivu kupitiliza??

    Kama hana tabia mbaya zozote ni kuwa huna imani na huyo mpenzio na ndio maana wivu umepitiliza kiasi, jaribu kuwa na hisia positive juuu ya mpenzio.
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #4
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  5. M

    MUMY A JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 17, 2012
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    ur not secured..jiamini bwana,alikupenda wewe ndo mana yuko nawe,hayo mengine unayotafuta ni ugonjwa wa moyo
     
  6. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Dun, tafuta wataalam wa saikolojia
     
  7. n

    noella Senior Member

    #7
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Asanteni wote hapo juu..najua ni tatizo kwa maana siishi kwa amani kutwa kugombana
    na yeye ananiambia kwanini sijiamini, nimejaribu kuacha sijui naanzaje, yani kwa siku naweza kugombana nae mara mbili kisha tunapatana.

    @Lizzy, asante mamy ngoja niingie nisome hiyo link.

    @Preta, nitrazingatia uyasemayo, nashukuru

    @Evarm, ana tabia ya kusema uongo sana over just basic things, alafu ukija kujua alidanganya anasema alikuwa anaprotect familia, sasa huwa najiuliza kuna mangapi anadanganya ambayo sijui..
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Noella soma mwaya, inaweza ikakupa mwangaza kidogo.

    Alafu kama ana tabia ya kudanganya, je anadanganya mambo ya aina gani? Makubwa au madogo madogo?
     
  9. n

    noella Senior Member

    #9
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Lizzy, nimesoma hiyo post yako.

    ina maana mimi nina tatizo la kisaikolojia? mmh!siamini.

    je kuna mtu anaweza kunipa contacts za wanasaikolojia nijipeleke mwenyewe kabla sijapewa red card. pls help.
     
  10. IGWE

    IGWE JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    aiseeeeeee!.....pole sana
     
  11. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Hahahaha. . . Noella, hua inaanza kama mazoea. Ikikithiri mpaka ukaanza kumnusa mwenzio akirudi, piga simu mara tano ndani ya lisaa, badili namba na kumpima pima basi hapo linakua tatizo na sio mazoea tena. Kwasababu sasa hivi unajua tatizo lako basi unaweza kulitatua bila msaada wa mwanasaikolojia, ukishirikiana na mpenzi wako.

    Mtafute namna ya kutengeneza imani ambayo inaonekana haipo. Na pakuanzia ni yeye kujifunza kuwa mkweli. Mjulishe kwamba hayo maswala ya 'naprotect familia' kwa kutumia uongo kila mara/mara kwa mara itaishia kuharibu mahusiano yenu. Na wewe uanze au uongeze kujiamini, usione umebahatisha ila fikiria kwamba unastahili kua nae, sifa na vigezo unavyo. Kuwa karibu nae bila kumghasi na tuhuma za ajabu ajabu. . .
     
  12. Lokissa

    Lokissa JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 17, 2012
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    jua ktk mapenzi changamoto kubwa ni kumwamini mwenzio.
    nakuona humwamini na hii ni hatari, upendo wa kweli bila trust sio upendo
    yewezekana nawe sio mwaminifu kwake so unahisi nae anafanya the same thing(sory kama sio)
    kama wampenda kwa dhati mwache awe huru,ukimchunga sana atakuona kero na akishajua humwamini then hakuna maana ya kuwa wachumba
    jifunze kufanya mambo yako bila kumwaza sana salamu ziwe chache hapo mtaelewana sio kila mara simu simu inakuwa kero keroooooooo
    hata mm sipendi kabisa mchumba kunisumbua kila mara we hate that as men.mtu mzima hachungwi Noela utaishia kupata stress kila siku.
     
  13. n

    noella Senior Member

    #13
    Jan 17, 2012
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    anadanganya yote yote kwa kweli, anaweza akasema uongo kwa mtu halafu anakuja kunambia nimemwambia mtu fulani kuwa hivi na hivi akikuuliza sema ndiyo.au anadanganya mimi napoishi au yeye anapofanya kazi cheo chake, anadanganya amewahi ishi abroad..na pia anadanganya kuhusu fulani kamtaka mara rafiki zangu, rafiki zake, wafanya kazi wenzake na hata ndugu zangu,lol, yani yeye ni kudanganya tu Lizzy ,mpaka kwenye kila maneno 100 aongeayo huwa naamini 45 tu kwa kweli.
     
  14. CORAL

    CORAL JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Noella, labda makala hii katika gazeti la Daily Monitor la Uganda yenye kichwa: 'Give your husband a breathing space', itakusaidia: monitor.co.ug/Magazines/Full+Woman/-/689842/1304672/-/7yadkcz/-/index.html
     
  15. Annael

    Annael JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 17, 2012
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    1. Muombe MUNGU
    2. Tafuta kazi ya kufanya ili iji keep busy
    3. Unajua kisaikolojia kitu ikikifanya mara 7 mfululizo inakuwa tabia yako. Kwa hiyo, hiyo imekuwa tabia yako basi jaribu kujikaza na urudie kiyume kwa muda wa siku saba.
    4. Wivu kwenye mapenzi lazima uwepo lakini imani ni kitu cha muhimu zaidi, Weka imani kwa mume wako huku ukiongea naye vizuri, kwa sauti ya opole na unyenyekevu. Muandalie vakula vyote vizuri.


    Nadhani katika haya utafanikisha
     
  16. BRO LEE

    BRO LEE JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Inaelekea unampenda sana huyo mpenzio kiasi kwamba umezalisha hali ya kutokujiamini, kwa sababu hujiamini basi unakuwa na hofu na mashaka juu ya penzi lake kwako.

    Mwenye tiba ya hilo tatizo ni huyo mpenzio, yy anatakiwa kujitahidi kuwa muwazi na kukupa nafasi Ya kuelewa kwamba kile unachowaza sicho. Unachotakiwa ni kuwa m2livu katika mambo ambayo hasa yanakuumiza mf. anapoongea na watu wa jinsia tofauti(wa2mishi wenzie/jamaa), usiipekue simu yake/e-mail, etc

    Unaweza ukasikia wanaongea vizuri na kucheka au kutaniana na wa2mishi/jamaa zake usikashfu, na usionyeshe dalili yoyote ya kutokumwamini, km una hisi unahitaji kumfahamu mtu ambaye akiongea naye unaumia zaidi mwulize kwa upendo mf hivi X upo naye kitengo/idara m1.nk(inategemea mpenzio anafanya shughuli gani) jitahidi kutokuwa mshari.

    NB. nilikuwa na m2 km wewe na siku zote nilimpa maelezo kuondoa wasiwasi wake, alikuwa anakagua simu nikiwepo atauliza baadhi ya majina ya wanawake nampa majibu, simu ikipigwa atauliza ni nani namjibu nk.mpaka nikahakikisha anajiamini kwa kiasi kikubwa japo ule wivu wa kawaida lazima uwepo.

    Kumbuka, wivu ukizidi unaleta kero sana na unaweza kusababisha mahusiano kuvunjika mngali mnapendana .
     
  17. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Noella mbona huyo kazidi?
    Kama anadanganya hata mambo yasiyo ya msingi ina maana hiyo ni tabia yake na itakua ngumu kuacha. Alafu naona uongo mwingine hapo ni wa kichonganishi haswa unaohusisha ndugu na marafiki zako. Inabidi uangalie upya kama hiyo ndiyo aina ya mahusiano unayohitaji au la, na kama utaweza kustahimili mikikimikiki yake.
     
  18. n

    noella Senior Member

    #18
    Jan 17, 2012
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    nashukuru wote jamani

    @ CORAL, nimesoma hiyo nakala ya daily monitor imenifungua macho, thnx

    @ Annael, nitajaribu kujirekebisha kwa siku saba mfululizo (God give me strength to do this) kama usemavyo, kuanzia sasa hivi

    @Lizzy, yaani mamy nina kazi ya ziada katika hili la uongo kwa kweli. thx kwa kweli nimefunguka..kuanzia sasa hivi naacha hiyo kitu inaitwa Paranoia..kwa leo tu tayari nshaharibu hali ya hewa asubuhi..sasa naacha kabisa.
     
  19. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Pole sn,nakushauri soma hiyo post ya lizzy kwenye link aliyokupa na maon ya watu itakusaidia,but km mwanaume mwenyewe ndio muongo ivo!!!cjui km itasaidia hata km utabadilika labda nae aache tabia hiyo mbaya ambayo ni aibu kwa mwanaume kuwa ivo!
     
  20. SHIEKA

    SHIEKA JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 17, 2012
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    Noella, mwanasaikolojia wa kukusaidia ni wewe mwenyewe.Kama umeshasoma link alokupa Lizzy,kaa chini jigange mwenyewe.Jiulize:'Hayo yote ninayomwazia mwenzangu ni ya kweli? Ni lipi nililowaza likawa la kweli? Halafu kama mwenzio hayupo, usipende kukaa mwenyewemwenyewe yaani kuwa mpweke. Tafuta shosti mwenye msimamo na heshima. Muulize kama na yeye huwa anajisikia kama wewe kuhusu mpenzi wake.Usipojiganga kwa njia hizi utaishia kwenye hypertension na matatizo andamizi.
     
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