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Jamani nisaidieni ndoa yangu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Safina, Jul 2, 2010.

  1. Safina

    Safina JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 2, 2010
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    Habari wana jamii,

    Naombeni msaada wenu wa kiushauri, na naomba uwe ushauri wa ukweli kutoka mioyoni mwenu, maana hii ni true story its not a joke haya ni maisha yangu, mpaka nimeamua kuwashirikisha hili jambo mjue kweli yamenikuta.

    MImi ni mama wa watoto watatu. Ndoa yangu inatakribani miaka kumi na sita, kwa kweli tunamshukuru Mwenyezi Mungu ametujaalia uwezo, kwa sababu wote tunafanya kazi Mr. amejiajiri ana kampuni yake binafsi mimi pia ni mjasiriamali. Pesa tunazo za kutosha si kwamba najisifia hila tunaishi maisha mazuri na tunawasaidia ndugu zetu wote wa pande zote mbili.

    Tatizo langu ni kwamba mume wangu mpenzi, baba wa watoto wangu, sijui ana tatizo gani? Maana jamani kuhusu unyumba ni shida mno mnoooooooooooooooooooo. Yaani uwezi amini tunaweza kukaa hata miezi 6 - 12 hatujadumisha mila. Sielewi jamani wenzangu naombeni tu mnisaidie.

    Tumeoana kabila moja, na kikwetu huwa mwanamke haruhusiwi kumwomba mchezo mume wake hata kama una hamu kiasi gani. Tatizo lingine ni kwamba yeye ndiye mwanaume wangu wa kwanza kunileta katika ulimwengu wa mapenzi.

    Kifupi kila kitu ambacho mwanamke angetamani mume wake amfanyie napata, kwa mfano: watoto wanasoma shule nzuri, tunakula vizuri, sehemu za starehe yaani nikimwambia mume wangu leo twende, twanga, wazee wa ngwasuma, na nyinginezo unazozikua hana shida. Hata kama yuko nje ya mji kikazi kukiwa na shughuri za namna hii huwa hana neno, ananiruhusu tu mpaka watu wa pembeni (yaani majirani na marafiki) kwa kweli huwa wanatamani maisha yetu huwa mashosti zangu wanasema kwa kweli wangetamani kuwa na mume kama wangu, mimi huwa nawajibu tu kwamba aksanteni, ila langu moyoni. Kuna shostito wangu mmoja huwa ndie ninashare naye, yeye ananiambia nijitahidi tu kusema naye (yaani eti mie ndie nianzishe libeneke)

    Hebu wadada wanzangu mlioolewa naombeni mnisaidie, hata wakaka pia nanyi mnawafanyia wake zenu haya au inakuwaje jamani. Yaani muda huu ninapoaandika thread hii niko total confused maana nina kama miezi 8 sijapata mambo.

    Wanajamii wenzangu tafadhali naombeni mlichukulie hili suala kwa uzito unaostahili
     
  2. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

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    kwenye ndoa kuna nini jamani???

    dada umejaribu kuongea na mumeo juu ya suala hili?

    Pole sana aisee.....
     
  3. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    pole sana bi Safina, kweli hata kama mumeo anakupa kila kitu haisaidii na ili furaha iongezeke lazima uwe na raha ya unyumba. Mimi nakushauri achana na hiyo kusema mila zinawazuia, dunia tuliyo nayo kwa sasa ni nyingine, mkalishe mmeo chini umwambie, hakuna msaada mwingine zaidi ya huo na hongera kwa kuwa mvumilivu hukutoka nje ya ndoa, VUNJA UKIMYA
     
  4. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    safina hata mie itanibidi niungane na rafiki wako wa kike kukwambia uanzishe wewe libeneke.

    pengine mume wako hamu yake ya kufanya tendo ni ndogo na kwa vile yeye hana hamu anadhani na wewe huna, ila ukilianzisha atakumbuka na kukupa faraja yako.

    si lazima useme kwa maneno, fanya kwa vitendo.....................unaweza hata kumuomba weekend mkenda kutumia hoteli hivi bila ya watoto.

    kumuomba mume unyumba sidhani kama ni tatizo...kwa upande wako unaweza kujitahidi kwa kuwa mnadhifu zaidi, vipodozi, lingerie za uhakika na vitu vyengine vidogo vidogo
     
  5. hope 2

    hope 2 Senior Member

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    Jul 2, 2010
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    Pole sana safina.
    Nadhani jambo la msingi sio kuomba wewe, maana mambo yanakuja yenyewe mnapokua ktk hali flan.
    sijui siku zote hua anakuomba? yaani km mumeo siku anataka hua anakuambia mke wangu naomba tu ka du?
    Jitahd kumtengenezea mazingira ya kimapenzi ,automatically atajikuta kagusa hapa una-respond, then pale...huyoooo.....mara gemu.
     
  6. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 2, 2010
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    Pole sana. Kweli jambo usilolijua ni kama usiku wa giza. Marafiki wanatamani kuwa na mume kama wako, kumbe mnakata miezi 6 au hata zaidi bila ya yeye kukugusa! Umeshajaribu kuongea naye kuhusu ni kwanini inakuwa hivi? Siwezi tu kuhitimisha kwamba kuna nyumba ndogo kama hamjaongea naye basi kuna umuhimu wa kukaa chini mkaongea kwa kirefu kuhusu tatizo hili na wala usipandishe sauti kabisaaaaa uwe mstaarabu ili muweze kulitatua kama itawezekana. Kila la heri.
     
  7. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 2, 2010
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    mimi kwa kweli mila za kipuuzi hizi nazipiga chini hata bil akuulizia. Hii ni haki ya msingi kwa mwanandoa, iweje bibie uteseke kwa miezi yote hiyo kwa kutopata 'conjugal rights zako??

    plz plz hebu vunja huo ukimya zungumza na mumeo. vinginevyo utajikuta unafanya uamuzi mbaya sana kwa sababu kila kitu kina mipaka. kuna siku huo uvumilivu utakushinda ukaingia majaribu ya kutafuta pa kupoozea
     
  8. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

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    thanks God its not me
     
  9. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    B nakubaliana nawe kabisa kwamba mila nyingine zimepitwa na wakati. Hata haya mambo mke haruhusiwi kumuomba unyumba mumewe ni ya kizamani na hayastahili kabisa kuwepo katika dunia ya leo. Yaani mke anakata mwaka bila kuguswa na mumewe! na akimshamgusa hiyo mara moja baada ya mwaka anaweza kukata miezi sita au hata zaidi kabla ya kumgusa tena!!!! hiki ni kitu cha kushangaza sana, labda jamaa ana matatizo ya kiafya lakini hiki si kitu cha kawaida hata kidogo.
     
  10. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    safina, samahani naomba nikupe ushauri mmoja kabla sijaenda mbali; ukitaka fair advice, omba ushauri kwanza kwa wanaume kuhusu mambo ya mikasi!!... soma kitabu kimoja kinaitwa think like a lady, act like a man cha steve harvery. huyu bwana ana statement moja aliyoiweka which is very important --- anasema tatizo kubwa la wanawake ni kutaka ushauri wa matatizo ya ndoa kutoka kwa wanawake,,,, wanawake wote wote wanakua side moja.

    hayo ya kusema kabila letu eti hatuombi kile kitu, huo pia ni uchemfu na siajabu ndicho kinachoboa huyo mwanaume...kumbuka wanawake anaokutana nao mtaani si wa kabila lenu therefore you should get out of the shell and be a wife and a life partner and not mke -kabila. learn what he likes, be what he dream of a womna

    .... badilika, na muanze upya... communicate more, enjoy more and share more

    kuwa aggressive, maana wanasema ushikwapo, shikamana
     
  11. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

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    am afraid so.....

    tendo la ndo ani muhimu sana na kukosekana kwake ni sababu tosha ya mmoja wa wanandoa kudai talaka na mahakama ikampatia.
    kama hivo unapewa kila kitu lakini hilo moja tu limakunyima amani ndani ya nyumba. ni kwa sababu ni la muhimu zaidi na ni haki yenu (ndo maana likaitwa tendo la ndoa)

    huyu dada nampa hongera sana kwa kuwa mvumilivu kwa kiasi hiki, ila cha msingi ndo kuyazungumza sasa ili walijue tatizo na kulitatua
     
  12. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Kabisa kitendo cha mume/mke kumnyima mwenzie tendo la ndoa kwa sababu moja au nyingine ni sababu tosha kabisa ya mmoja wa wahusika kuomba kuvunjwa kwa ndoa yao.
     
  13. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    hamna kibatani nimeshindwa kugonga....akikutana na wakina Da Sophy huyo basi tena litakuwa janga lingine!!
     
  14. minda

    minda JF-Expert Member

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    :pound: ningekushauri lakini umeamua kuomba ushauri kwa wadada wenzako walioolewa nami ni mwanaume. nakuombea ili mungu akupe haja ya moyo wako kupitia kwa mr wako na si vinginevyo! kila la heri safina!
     
  15. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

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    acha excuses bana we mshauri tu, una uhakika gani wote tulomshauri hapa ni wadada na tumeolewa???

    msaidie mwenzio....
     
  16. Kbd

    Kbd JF-Expert Member

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    Mi sipo kwenye ndoa......ila nimeshangaa sana miaka kumi na sita ya ndoa bado hata hujamzoea mume wako. Jamani kwa miaka hiyo mi nadhani nyie mngekuwa marafiki zaidi kwa kufahamiana inside out. Mbona nahisi kama unaishi na mjomba wako unayemuheshimu sana kuliko mume ambae ni patna wako? Hivi huwa unamuamkia nini? VUNJA UKIMYA BWANA......SEMA NAE.
     
  17. Bourgeoisie

    Bourgeoisie JF-Expert Member

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    Natoka kidogo, ntarudi baadaye na ushauri wangu
     
  18. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    mama weee!!! umenikumbusha dar sophy, ni kasheshe aisee

    dada inabidi afunge mkanda na pia kama jamaa jogoo kagoma kuwika, aende kununua himoyang aisee kile kitu ni muhimu
     
  19. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

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    yule mwanamke hatari, DN akikukamat aunasahau kam ulishawahi kuoa na una watoto. yule da sophy alinifanye niote ndoto mbaya sana siku ile na zile arguments zake aisee.
     
  20. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    ........Pole sana Safina, miezi 6-8 kitanda kimoja mke na mume hivi hivi bila mchezo mbona hilo jaribu kubwa sana. Hayo mambo kwamba mwanaume ndio aanzishe kutaka libeneke kila siku limepitwa na wakati. Changamka mdada, hebu muanze mumeo uone atarespond vipi, onyesha manjonjo yako shost usisubiri mumeo kuanza.

    .......Miaka 16 kwenye ndoa mbona mtakuwa mmezoea sana tu.......sielewi kwa nini unaona haya kumwambia kwamba una hamu.Sielewi jinsi mnavyoishi ila mimi nipo wazi sana kwa mume wangu na mume wangu ndio rafiki yangu na mtani wangu kwa sana tu. Hivyo kama mnataniana wewe siku mwambie tu ukweli kuhusu ukimya wake kwenye tendo la ndoa. Usije kukutana mumeo labda ana matatizo ya nguvu za kiume ndio maana hana hamu ya tendo...........toa ukimya zungumza naye ujue tatizo nini.
     
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