'Is there a room for privacy in Marriage/Relationship'??

[nyumba kubwa]

Kama haina athari kwenye ndoa why maark it private.

Mi nilidhani privacy inaendana na hatari kwa kidhungu danger.

mi nafikiri even kwa wapendanao walioko ktk ndoa lazima kutakuwa na degree of privacy to some issues especially zile ambazo haziwezi kuwa na athari kubwa katika ndoa e.g password JF

 

[SnowBall]

Ndoa gani? Privacy ije kwa authority gani? Maana ndoa zote si sawa..

Of course nimequalify neno ndoa kwa kufuata utamaduni wetu na mazoea..kwa sababu mara nyingi mada za ndoa hapa ndani hatuulizani ni ndoa gani...hopefully na mjadala wangu niliulenga kwenye traditions na customs za ndoa tunazozifahamu....

 

[Blaine]

ndoa sio kampuni au chama
ambako sheria ziko wazi
its complicated...

-.- i guess ntapata uhakika if i get married -.-

Where the most private part is seen, is there any privacy?? Lol.

LOL wakati wa kujifungua maybe.

Mkuu wangu The Boss hapa bana kubali kataa kuna privacy inatakiwa iwe maintained..
Sema kinachogomba ni jinsi gani utamfanya mwenzio haamini kuwa 'conscience' yako iko 'clear'
But kumbuka mara nyingi maswali ya usiri yanaletwa na hiyo hiyo 'conscience'..kwa nini hataki nijue????

curiosity killed the cat and got adam and eve booted out of Eden.

 

[SnowBall]

Mbona nimetoa mifano hapo juu mfano PIN ya ATM ..au Password ya JF??
Au nikauliza kuwa ukiwa kwenye ndoa mwenzio anakuwa na unlimited access ya kila kitu chako??
Hebu tuanzie hapo nyumba kubwa.......

Itaeleweka zaidi ukiongea kwa mifano...

Kipi hasa kina deserve kuwa marked confidential na mkeo asiwe na access.

Ukitaja hapo tuta debate tukijua tuna debate kwenye nini.

Mimi NK kama NK sina kitu confidential hata kimoja...ila niachopigania ni uhuru...ila sio ule ulopita mipaka. Lakini Uriri...ni BIG NO.

Otherwise majibu mengi yatakuwa yametokana na mtu alivtyotafsiri slwali hivyo lazima tutofautiane.

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Kujiwekea siri na mtu ambaye mnalala na kuamka wote ni kujipa ugonjwa wa moyo kwa wasiwasi...lol.

Unakuta mtu ana wasiwasi utadhani kibaka au katoka kuua...kisa; siri isijegunduliwa.

 

[The Boss]

Kujiwekea siri na mtu ambaye mnalala na kuamka wote ni kujipa ugonjwa wa moyo kwa wasiwasi...lol.

Unakuta mtu ana wasiwasi utadhani kibaka au katoka kuua...kisa; siri isijegunduliwa.

wewe ndo uki hivyo
kuna wenzio wana 'enjoy' kuwa na as many secrets as possible lol
hii dunia ina watu aisee

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Sikuona hiyo mifano...mimi na hubby tuna joint account...hatuna siri za ma password.

Password za e mail anazo toka tukiwa tuna date (mwaka wa 13 huu) na mimi nina zake...na hatujawahi kugombana kwa hilo kwa maana hakuna hata mmoja wetu alowahi ku abuse say kwa kujibu e mail ya mwenzie out of wivu.

We are happy like that.

JF huwa natembelea nikiwa mbali kwa kuwa ina ni keep busy...lakini akitaka pasword nampa hakuna shida...ila password ya JF ina nini?...nadhani cha muhimu ni kujua ID yangu kwani inbox mi sijawahi tongoza wala kutongozwa. Lol. Si unaona avatar yenyewe haina hata mvuto. Lol...antake nani miye NK...

Na kama ni ID sijawahi andika upuuzi hata kama nasemaga mambo ya familia...it won't make him angry kwani sisemi uongo na hakuna anayenijua...ila yeye akisoma comments zangu lazima anijue; but si member wa JF.

Sina siri miye mke wa mtu. Lol...na najiweka hivyo ili hata akitaka password nampa tena nikitabasamu.

Mbona nimetoa mifano hapo juu mfano PIN ya ATM ..au Password ya JF??
Au nikauliza kuwa ukiwa kwenye ndoa mwenzio anakuwa na unlimited access ya kila kitu chako??
Hebu tuanzie hapo nyumba kubwa.......

 

[Zvi]

Kama haina athari kwenye ndoa why maark it private.

Mi nilidhani privacy inaendana na hatari kwa kidhungu danger.

anyway sina uhakika but i dont think all privacy pose dangers in marriage.

 

[SnowBall]

Password za e mail anazo toka tukiwa tuna date (mwaka wa 13 huu) na mimi nina zake...na hatujawahi kugombana kwa hilo kwa maana hakuna hata mmoja wetu alowahi ku abuse say kwa kujibu e mail ya mwenzie out of wivu.We are happy like that..

Kwingine kote inaweza kuwa rahisi ila hapo panakuwaga pagumu sana...hongera sana kwa hilo aisee..

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Kwa hiyo watu wanafanya tu kwa sababu ya mazoea...au u binafsi

'My account', 'my password', 'my little secret'; 'my money'. Lol

anyway sina uhakika but i dont think all privacy pose dangers in marriage.

 

[The Boss]

mtu anakufulia mpaka boxer
halafu umwambie eti usiguse lap top yangu
sababu 'its private'
how?

 

[SnowBall]

Lakini mkuu bado naamini to some extent ka'privacy' lazima...
Mfano kuna 'deal' la kiofisi la kifisaidi..do you think utashare hii info instantly???

wewe ndo uki hivyo
kuna wenzio wana 'enjoy' kuwa na as many secrets as possible lol
hii dunia ina watu aisee

 

[Blaine]

wewe ndo uki hivyo
kuna wenzio wana 'enjoy' kuwa na as many secrets as possible lol
hii dunia ina watu aisee

i'm one of those people who keep as many secrets as possible -_-

Sikuona hiyo mifano...mimi na hubby tuna joint account...hatuna siri za ma password.

Password za e mail anazo toka tukiwa tuna date (mwaka wa 13 huu) na mimi nina zake...na hatujawahi kugombana kwa hilo kwa maana hakuna hata mmoja wetu alowahi ku abuse say kwa kujibu e mail ya mwenzie out of wivu.

We are happy like that.

JF huwa natembelea nikiwa mbali kwa kuwa ina ni keep busy...lakini akitaka pasword nampa hakuna shida...ila password ya JF ina nini?...nadhani cha muhimu ni kujua ID yangu kwani inbox mi sijawahi tongoza wala kutongozwa. Lol. Si unaona avatar yenyewe haina hata mvuto. Lol...antake nani miye NK...

Na kama ni ID sijawahi andika upuuzi hata kama nasemaga mambo ya familia...it won't make him angry kwani sisemi uongo na hakuna anayenijua...ila yeye akisoma comments zangu lazima anijue; but si member wa JF.

Sina siri miye mke wa mtu. Lol...na najiweka hivyo ili hata akitaka password nampa tena nikitabasamu.

thats very nice NK but would you advice another couple sharing so much info knowing wanadamu tulivyo. from experience yako things turned out okay lakini its not common place kwetu wengine. kuna waliofanya kama wewe sasa hivi wanajuta mf. mume kastaafu na kugundua mke kauza retirement home yao nk. call me a downer but I just don't see unlimited access as a good thing kwenye ndoa.

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Namshukur Mungu...we real respect each other;

Haina maana sijawahi kuta e mail za hajabu kwenye account yake; au yeye hajawahi kuta e mail zenye mashaka...but we talk and trust each other...na hatukurupuki kumjibu mtumaji kwani si vizuri marafiki zetu wajue kuwa tuna access ya each other's e mail itawafanya wasite kuwasiliana na sisi wakiwa na siri zao.

Unajua mkishaelewana ni rahisi hata ukikuta message kwenye simu ya partner wako kujua kuwa hii imepotea njia...na hii ni muendelezo wa mazungumzo.

Nakumbuka tukiwa tunadate mume wangu aliwahi futa e mail ya jamaa aliyekuwa ananitongoza...afu akanambia fulani alikutumia e mail ila imefutika bahati mbaya...sikujali kwani i was not interested with the sender. Na nadhani aliibroke hiyo address ya jamaa ...by then mi sikuwa najua sana mambo ya e mail...ila sikuwahi pata e mail nyingine toka kwa huyo kijana...alikuwa lecturer wetu Lol. Jamaa akaona hapa nisipofuta naweza pigwa bao.

Kwingine kote inaweza kuwa rahisi ila hapo panakuwaga pagumu sana...hongera sana kwa hilo aisee..

 

[nyumba kubwa]

No No No...sina ushauri wowote kwa couple yeyote...

Haya mambo hayanaga formular yanakujaga yenyewe...ikiwa ni kwa kushurutishwa ndio hapo mtu anaita ndoa 'Cage'

Nina mdogo wangu yeye na mumewe naweza kuwahita wamepitiliza ...au niseme wana tabia mbaya...ukimpigia simu anapokea mumewe afu wako ofisi tofauti...mapenzi yao yamezidi kipimo; wana tabia ya ku exchange handset zikiwa na line zao...sasa inafika kipindi unauliza kwa sms 'leo hii namba ni ya nani?' kabla hujapiga. Lol.


Sijuhi rafiki zao wanawachukuliaje kwa kweli...ni usumbufu.

i'm one of those people who keep as many secrets as possible -_-

thats very nice NK but would you advice another couple sharing so much info knowing wanadamu tulivyo. from experience yako things turned out okay lakini its not common place kwetu wengine. kuna waliofanya kama wewe sasa hivi wanajuta mf. mume kastaafu na kugundua mke kauza retirement home yao nk. call me a downer but I just don't see unlimited access as a good thing kwenye ndoa.

 

[SnowBall]

Kwa hiyo watu wanafanya tu kwa sababu ya mazoea...au u binafsi

'My account', 'my password', 'my little secret'; 'my money'. Lol

All human beings are selfish in nature..ndiyo unaweza kuwa wewe na mtu wako mnashare that stuffs with no exception...but believe me nina shemeji yangu anajenga nyumba bila hubby wake kujua....
Nimeshangaa baada ya kuonyeshwa mjengo na third party na ndio chimbuko la huu uzi..............

 

[Zvi]

Kwa hiyo watu wanafanya tu kwa sababu ya mazoea...au u binafsi

'My account', 'my password', 'my little secret'; 'my money'. Lol

i would say wanafanya hivyo kwasababu za kiitelijensia, huenda kwa kukifanya kitu hicho (account,deal, interests etc) private itakuwa na positive consequences kuliko kukiweka wazi. kwa mfano wewe umekuwa addicted na porn na unajua mwenza wako yuko very against, will you expose/share that?

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Ni kweli SnowBall wapo wanawake wengi na wanaume pia ambao ni wasiri na wachoyo.

Hiyo inasababishwa na mengi wenyewe wanakwambia...

Mojawapo ni kutokuona future ya ndoa yenu...yani mtu anakuwa mguu mmoja nje...mguu mmoja ndani.

Haiwezekani ukawa unajenga nyumba kwa siri afu unambie bado kuna love kwenye ndoa yenu...sitakubali hata uni convince vipi.
Hao hata ukiwauliza kuhusu ndoa watakwambia wanajuta kilichowatuma waolewa...they could be better without marriage.

Kuna office mate wangu alinambia NK wanawake walio single wana maendeleo kuliko sie tulio olewa...nikamchekiiii...nikasema huyu lazima love imeisha kwa mumewe...mawazo gani hayo...nikajua anachohesabu ni kuwa hana 'chake' binafsi...maana mumewe ni boss mkubwa sana na wana kila kitu cha kujiita upper class.

Kama ni gari ana drive gari ya maana; ila ni ya familia...anaonea wivu wenye vi starlet kisa ni 'vyao'

All human beings are selfish in nature..ndiyo unaweza kuwa wewe na mtu wako mnashare that stuffs with no exception...but believe me nina shemeji yangu anajenga nyumba bila hubby wake kujua....
Nimeshangaa baada ya kuonyeshwa mjengo na third party na ndio chimbuko la huu uzi..............

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Hapo tutarudi kwenye compatibility...mume wangu anapenda porn...mi si mpenzi lakini haina maana nikimkuta anaangalia nimuone kama ameua. Lol.

Ngoja nitoe siri kidogo...huwa mtu akiingia kwenye website fulani basi unakuta anaanza tumiwa junk mails...na mume wangu kama wanaume wengine nadhani ana tabia ya ku visit website za hajabu hajabu...but you know what...I dont care!!! Hiyo ni tabia ya wanaume wengi; kwa nini nimyime raha mtoto wa mwanamke mwenzangu. Lol.

Ndio hapo linakuja suala la ku abuse access tulizopewa...sinaga wivu wa kijinga...na si control freak kiasi hicho...siwezi kumuuliza kwa nini unatembelea website so and so...never...
he needs a little freedom. Lol.

i would say wanafanya hivyo kwasababu za kiitelijensia, huenda kwa kukifanya kitu hicho (account,deal, interests etc) private itakuwa na positive consequences kuliko kukiweka wazi. kwa mfano wewe umekuwa addicted na porn na unajua mwenza wako yuko very against, will you expose/share that?

 

[Blaine]

... usiguse lap top yangu
.. 'its private'

yaliyomo kwenye lap top yangu mhhhhh!!

....

Nina mdogo wangu yeye na mumewe naweza kuwahita wamepitiliza ...au niseme wana tabia mbaya...ukimpigia simu anapokea mumewe afu wako ofisi tofauti...mapenzi yao yamezidi kipimo; wana tabia ya ku exchange handset zikiwa na line zao......

kumbe we na mdogo na mdogo wako mmerithi uaminifu :lol:, but thats annoying kama wamefikia hapo. curiously wewe ku-share info na mumeo unaona ni 'moderate' lakini kwa mdogo wako na mumewe unaona 'wamezidi'. kwa nini. i find it a bit funny bcoz in my opinion nyote mmezidi.

All human beings are selfish in nature..ndiyo unaweza kuwa wewe na mtu wako mnashare that stuffs with no exception...but believe me nina shemeji yangu anajenga nyumba bila hubby wake kujua....
Nimeshangaa baada ya kuonyeshwa mjengo na third party na ndio chimbuko la huu uzi..............

:lol: huyo kiboko, mimi naongelea small personal info kama mnafichana mpaka nyumba then its beyond me