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Internal home Memo

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by NGULI, May 8, 2009.

  1. NGULI

    NGULI JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 8, 2009
    Joined: Mar 31, 2008
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    *INTERNAL HOME MEMO*

    FROM: FATHER

    TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES

    CC: MOTHER

    *DATE: MAY 06, 2009*

    SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT
    ATTENTION*

    Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations
    Have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation
    Going to be accepted.

    1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry
    And/or passage shall require express permission from myself
    Upon submission of written request.

    2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

    3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk
    are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to
    Me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by
    a qualified dietician report as supportive documentation.

    4. Watering with horses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall
    be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal
    decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.


    5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 liters of water per day per
    person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical
    reasons.

    6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All
    dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make
    available shortly.

    7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to
    offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen
    to music shall sing for them.

    8. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court
    Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from
    The House.

    9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The
    House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment
    somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

    10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall
    apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from
    their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing
    reasons why they can't stay at their homes. Failure to do this shall
    result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival

    *THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!


    Signed:

    DAD
    Chairman of Home Affairs



     
  2. Mfamaji

    Mfamaji JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 8, 2009
    Joined: Nov 6, 2007
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    Sasa imekuwaje news ...tena breaking news... hebu acha kututease sisi wanaJF wenzio.
     
  3. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 8, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
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    hillarious hahahaha!!
    Thanks.
     
  4. K

    Kifimbocheza JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 8, 2009
    Joined: Aug 7, 2008
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    Du Hii Kali kweli2
     
  5. D

    Dandaj Member

    #5
    May 8, 2009
    Joined: Apr 16, 2009
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    Imerudiwa, hamna jipya hapo.
     
  6. Junius

    Junius JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 8, 2009
    Joined: Mar 11, 2009
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    imagine mtu unapandwa na wazimu kama huu nyumbani kwako, lo hapakaliki....mamsap anaweza kutoa timu uwanjani na kukuachia mwenye points tatu muhimu
     
  7. K

    Kakalende JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 9, 2009
    Joined: Dec 1, 2006
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    Mie nilidhani Huu ni ukumbi wa jokes/utani?
     
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