Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Infidelism: Nani rahisi kukamatwa na kwa nini?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Nov 24, 2011.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    Zipo sababu nyingi zinazowafanya watu wawe na mahusiano ya nje ya mahusiano yao rasmi (kucheat). Tangu enzi na enzi mambo haya yamekuwa yakiwatokea wanaume na wanawake wa kila kabila, dini, lugha na mahali na kila mtu anayo sababu yake ya kumfanya hivyo. Japo wakati mwingine inaendana na hisia ya kujisikia vibaya lakini ukweli ni kwamba watu huamua na kuhalalisha kwa sababu ambazo ni wao wanazijua na vigumu watu wengine kuweza kuzielewa. Wengine wanafikiria ni suala la tamaa tu za kimwili lakini sayansi ya jamii yote inaonesha kuwa kuna mambo mengi zaidi ambayo yanaweza kusababisha mtu kuikubali itikadi ya infidelism. Hata hivyo hili siyo somo langu la leo.

    Kuna watu wanaamini kabisa kuwa wanawake ndio 'cheaters' wazuri sana na kuwa wana uwezo wa kuweza kuwachanganya watu wawili au zaidi bila mhusika mkuu kuweza hata kushuku. Wengine, hata hivyo wanaamini kuwa ni wanaume ambao ni cheaters 'wazuri' kwani anaweza kuwa na mahawara kadhaa kwenye mji ule ule mmoja bila hata kushukiwa. Lakini wengine hudai kuwa wanawake huweza kushuku mapema kuwa mtu anacheat lakini huwa wanaamua kumezea as long as yule mtu anatimiza wajibu wake wote wa pale nyumbani.

    Wapo wanaume hata hivyo ambao hawaamini kabisa kuwa mke/mtu wake anaweza kucheat kwani amejiaminisha kuwa mwanamke yule yuko hoi bina taaban (hasa kama ni mwanamme anayeamini sarakasi za chumbani kama kigezo). Lakini mwisho wa siku mjadala ambao hudumu mara nyingi ni yupi rahisi kukamatatika. Wapo wanaosema wanaume ni rahisi sana kukamatika kwani kucheat kwao ni sawa na kurusha rusha mipira mitatu angani (juggling) kiasi kwamba anaweza kurushwa kwa muda fulani tu mwisho wa siku atadondosha mmoja au yote (wengine hudai wanaodondoshwa ni mahawara!). Lakini wapo wanaoamini kuwa ni wanawake ambao wanaweza kushikika kirahisi kwa sababu wao wakianza kweli kucheat huwa wanahamisha kabisa hisia na majeshi yao kule kwingine kiasi kwamba hawawezi kujitoa kule kwingine na wakarudi nyumbani wakawa kama kawaida.

    Kwa wale wataalamu (wenye uzoefu au waliowahi kujisomea dhana hii wakiwa vyuoni) msimamo upi unaelekeana na ukweli na ni kwanini hasa?
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #2
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: May 15, 2006
    Messages: 65,047
    Likes Received: 15,968
    Trophy Points: 280
    Mimi sidhani kama kuna jinsia yenye uhodhi juu ya hilo.

    Mtu ukiwa sloppy utabambwa tu, uwe mwanamke au mwanaume.
     
  3. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #3
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    how can a man be sloppy.. maana wengine ndio wasomi wenyewe! ?
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #4
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: May 15, 2006
    Messages: 65,047
    Likes Received: 15,968
    Trophy Points: 280
    Unajua binadamu tuna tabia ukishafanya jambo mara kwa mara bila kukamatwa basi unaanza kudhani labda wewe hukamatiki. Kidogo kidogo unaanza kuwa sloppy na ndo hapo utakapokamatwa.
     
  5. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Aug 22, 2008
    Messages: 3,617
    Likes Received: 28
    Trophy Points: 145
    Yule aliyependa zaidi ktk hayo mahusiano yasiyo ya kihalali anaweza kusababisha kukamatwa kirahisi!
     
  6. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Nov 26, 2009
    Messages: 27,047
    Likes Received: 1,241
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kila mmoja anaweza kukamatika, hakuna aliye untouchable. Mwanamke sio rahisi kukamatwa:
    1 wanawake ar good at multitasking na hawasahau haraka wala kujisahau (tuite u-Dellilah). Groomed to be smart, nafikiria in terms of covering tracks
    2 wanawake hawategemewi ku-express feelings waziwazi. Mfano sex inawezafanyika kama wajibu and they can fake na isigundulike. Na kuna cycle na mood za kujitetea (maybe it is something to do with my hormones blah blah)
    3 aren't women good actors? Kama mume anakupiga mangumi na unaweza kutabasamu mbele yake na mbele ya dunia nzima...na yeye bado akajiskia kuwa mume? Basi nadhani huwezi kustukiwa unless hajali tena

    4 secret keepers. Kwanza wanawake hatuaminiani. Unajua siku mkitofautiana shosti atamwaga maharage.At most wanawake wana siri zao wasizoshare na mtu. Atakua na affair, mashosti wanaweza jua bt they will never have details. Wanaume hadi kaka zake wata-meet small house. Katika harakati za kujinadi for any benefit, mwanaume atatumia umbea kusema popote hadi habari zitafika
    Eh,ngoja niishie hapa.
     
  7. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Feb 4, 2009
    Messages: 27,023
    Likes Received: 5,187
    Trophy Points: 280
    midume bwana, tunakamatwaga kizembe utadhani kuku mwenye mdondo.
     
  8. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
    Messages: 6,819
    Likes Received: 339
    Trophy Points: 180
    MMM kuna post enzi hizo nilisemaga while we MEN think we are the players...................actually we the ones being played ; mfano unaweza ukacheat na mke wa mtu ukamtia mimba na akakudhulumu damu yako and there is no way ukajua na hata ukijua ni wachache wenye ubavu wa kudai haki katika hii scenario nad the vice versa is the same
     
  9. SOBY

    SOBY JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Sep 19, 2011
    Messages: 1,265
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 0
    Infidelity?
     
  10. Prishaz

    Prishaz JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Nov 18, 2011
    Messages: 1,575
    Likes Received: 510
    Trophy Points: 280
    King'asti umesema almost kila nilichotaka kusema, zaidi naweza kusema wanawake ni ngumu sana kunogewa na penzi la nje na kujisahau kitu ambacho ni tofauti kwa wanaume walio wengi
     
  11. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,065
    Likes Received: 14,292
    Trophy Points: 280
    wazee walisema 'ukimchunguza kuku,huwezi kumla.'

    nina uhakika hapa waliimaanisha
    ukimchunguza mwanamke hutaamini utakayogundua.....

    wanawake ni mwisho wa mchezo lol
     
  12. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #12
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    Lakini sasa kwanini wanaume huwa wanashtuka sana wakigundua mke au mpenzi wake anacheat?
     
  13. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
    Messages: 6,992
    Likes Received: 835
    Trophy Points: 280
    Wanawake wako 'smart' sana katika hiyo game ya kucheat....yaani unaweza kula meza moja (zamani sahani moja!) na mume mwenzio bila kujua. Lakini na wanaume nao hawajambo.......kuna visa vingi tu vya wanaume kutembea na 'beki tatu' bila mwenye mali kustuka...akija kustuka 'beki tatu' tayari ana mimba!
     
  14. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
    Messages: 21,797
    Likes Received: 53
    Trophy Points: 145
    kingasti... hoja nzuri, vipi kuhusu anatomy? and emotions?
     
  15. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,065
    Likes Received: 14,292
    Trophy Points: 280
    hata mambo yana 'cultural differences '
    kwa waafrika karibu wote 'polygamy' ilikuwa ni sehemu ya maisha

    na kwenye 'culture' ya polygamy mwanaume alikuwa 'ha cheat' only labda

    atembee na mke wa mtu.....

    sasa kwa kuwa i was normal kuwa na mwanamke zaidi ya mmoja,
    ndani ya 'subconscious ' ya mwanaume hasa wa kiafrika ni kuwa 'cheating is not a bid deal for a man'

    wakati haikuwa kawaida kwa mwanamke kuwa na waume wawili,ndo maana mshutuko unakuja
    kwa sababu hatukuzoea kuwa ni kawaida
     
  16. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #16
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    nope infidelism...!
     
  17. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: May 23, 2010
    Messages: 1,475
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Nimevutiwa na mchango wako ila naomba kukuuliza ni mambo mangapi hayakua kawaida na siku hizi ni kawaida?
    Kwanini unashtuka sasa!
     
  18. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,065
    Likes Received: 14,292
    Trophy Points: 280
    kuna mambo meengi sana aisee
    nafikiri wazee wetu 'hawakujua' kuwa wanawake nao wana mahitaji sawa na wanaume hasa kwenye sex
    na pengine zaidi.......kwa hiyo unakuta wanawake kumi au ishirini wanaolewa na mtu
    mmoja na 'wana fake' kuridhika na kuwa na furaha...

    sasa wanawake wa sasa wameelimika na kujitambua na wamekuwa na demands wazi kabisa..
    na wanaume ndani ya subcouncious yetu bado tunafikiri kizamani....ndo maana tunashtuka
    tukiuona ukweli mbele ya macho yetu...

    bado kwa kiasi kikubwa wanawake wana cheat ili 'kuziba pengo la intimacy au sex'
    while wanaume huwa tuna cheat hata kama unae anaekuridhisha home....
     
  19. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Dec 24, 2010
    Messages: 16,980
    Likes Received: 55
    Trophy Points: 145
    Wanawake huwa hawakamatiki kirahisi, wanajua sana kuficha siri tofauti na wanaume.(King'asti ameeleza vizuri hapo juu)..na hii mara nyingi inachangiwa na uoga.
     
  20. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Nov 24, 2011
    Joined: Mar 8, 2008
    Messages: 42,156
    Likes Received: 4,688
    Trophy Points: 280
    Mi sijui nikoje,

    Siamini kama wanawake wanacheat kama wanaume wanavyocheat aisee. Na midume iko smart ikisaidiwa na mi-advantages kibao inayowafeva. Wanawake hata kama wapo wanaocheat lakini ODM najiaminisha hawawezi fikia kiwango cha midume. Na hata hao wanaocheat idadi yao haifikii idadi ya midume bana.

    Majukumu yanayomkabili mwanamke mara nyingi yanampa nafasi finyu kucheat ukilinganisha na mwanaume.
    Imani iliyozoeleka kuwa mwanamke akicheat basi ni malaya wakati mwanaume akicheat anaonekana kidume nayo inachangia wanawake wengi wasicheat kama wanaume.
    Ile mazoea pia kuwa mtongozaji lazima awe mwanaume inachangia pia.....mwanamke asipotongozwa na mwanaume atabaka? Ila vidume vinatongoza mpaka wanawake sita kwa siku. Na kukataliwa na wote sita ni mwiko.

    Kwanini vidume havikamatwi ugoni?..... Rejea sheria mama kumi za infidelity.
    Ngoja ODM asepe.
     
Loading...