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I need help - love is blind

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by JOHN MADIBA, Jun 27, 2011.

  1. JOHN MADIBA

    JOHN MADIBA JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 27, 2011
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    Hello Jf members, my name is Karen my Brotheris John Madiba. i need u advice in advance.

    I am desperately in need of counselling as I have been living a complicated life and I do not know what to do.

    I have been in a relationship with a married man for more than eight years now. At first, our love was okay.

    He used to help me out with rent and stuff like that, but since I was fresh from college, I did not take the relationship seriously.

    I dated many other men but still kept seeing him. After some time, I met another man and we became lovers.

    We dated for a while before he left for Afghanistan in search of greener pastures, and now I'm back with the married man.

    I came to learn that after we separated, he started dating another girl. When I ask him about that, he admitted that there was a third woman to the equation, but that they are no longer together. But I found out that he is lying. I recently went through his phone and found that he has maintained communication with the other girl.

    He is very possessive and I am not allowed to talk to another man when I am with him. I do not really love him, but I always find myself sleeping with him. I feel guilty about this and I have tried to stop it in vain.

    He says that he wants me for good and has asked me to have his baby. However, because I know for sure that I do not want a long-term affair with him, I have refused to do this and always use contraceptives.
    He has refused to use a condom and recently suggested that we go for tests to find out why I am not getting pregnant despite all his "effort".

    What should I do to escape the tight grip of this married man?
    Tafadhali dada yangu anahitaji ushauri wako Please my Sister need u advice in advance
     
  2. T

    TAITUZA Member

    #2
    Jun 27, 2011
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    We mpe hiyo kitu anayoipenda mpaka aichokle!
     
  3. Jean chill

    Jean chill Member

    #3
    Jun 27, 2011
    Joined: Apr 8, 2011
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    Which advice u are asking? That you should have his baby or not? Is that kind of advise you want?
     
  4. Daffi

    Daffi JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 27, 2011
    Joined: Jun 25, 2011
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    Mume wa mtu sumu,ajaribu kucheck ustaarabu mwingine aana either utamsababishia huyo mume wa mtu matatizo ya ndoa yake au utjisababishia matatizo mwenyewe.Why are you doing that after row!Angalia moyo wako
     
  5. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 27, 2011
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    Tupa kulee. Unakosea sana kuwa kwenye relationship ambayo hauko comfortable.
     
  6. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 27, 2011
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Hahahahaha...is she your blood sister for real!?? and that man is still alive...walking on this earth!???wow.....
     
  7. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 27, 2011
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    It seems you still need him materially because this is what seem to cement your relationship (ndo maana unalala naye bila kupenda), so there is no alternative advice, it is up to you to decide dada! Vitu vyake unataka, lakini yeye humpendi, sasa hapa unataka tukusaidieje?
     
  8. Karina

    Karina Member

    #8
    Jun 27, 2011
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  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 27, 2011
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    Mapenzi/Upendo hauna upofu wowote....NYIE WATU NDIO WAPOFU!
     
  10. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 27, 2011
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    wakati anatupa afikirie kutoumiza moyo wa mtu.
     
  11. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 27, 2011
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    Sawa lakini ajijali kwanza yeye, aangalie kipi ni cha faida kwake.
     
  12. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 27, 2011
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    you are a *****.....full stop...
     
  13. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 27, 2011
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    i said you are a w.hore...fulll stop
     
  14. s

    shoshte Senior Member

    #14
    Jun 27, 2011
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    put yourself in the shoes of his wife and now come for the advice you will get it from me!!!!!
     
  15. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 27, 2011
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    Hapo kwenye Red umesema humpendi... So its very Simple Tell him ITS OVER..., na sababu za kumpa unazo nyingi ya kwanza ni kwamba he is MARRIED
     
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 27, 2011
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    muhimu kujijali mwenyewe eeh?
     
  17. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 27, 2011
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    Kama kawa. Huwezi we kukaa unaumia tu na kusononeka, after all he is a married man so anaweza kupata faraja kwa mkewe.
     
  18. Meritta

    Meritta JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 27, 2011
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    wewe ni msichana tafuta maisha yako na mpenz wako ili uwe huru hapo ww ndo kipofu andapo ukiendelee kuwa na uyo mume wa mtu
     
  19. Romance

    Romance JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 27, 2011
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    mambo mengine unashinda ushauri nini hali alitakiwa aombe ushauri kabla hajafika hapo.
     
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