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I love you!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by BAK, Sep 29, 2009.

  1. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 29, 2009
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    By Wendy Atterberry

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    (The Frisky) -- Dear Wendy: I've been dating a guy for eight months and in April we decided not to see any other people. I should say that we're in a long distance relationship.
    [​IMG]
    Columnist says woman is beginning to pull away from relationship because man is not saying he loves her.

    We really care about each other, and have shown it in numerous ways: I send him cards and care packages frequently, we call each other numerous times a day, we e-mail each other throughout the day, I've met his family (informally, though), we always tell each other how much we miss the other, etc.
    We always have so much fun with each other, and when we're together, we're sewn to the other one's hip.
    Even though things are going pretty well, in the back of my mind there's a lot of hesitation. I have told him numerous times (although I was inebriated at those times) that I really like him and haven't felt this way before. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I'd even say that I was head-over-heels-in-love with him.
    But, now I'm not sure. Every time he goes back home, I feel really sad and cry a bunch. But, the last time, I didn't feel anything. I don't know if it's because I've been waiting for him to tell me how he really feels about me, because I'm unsure, or what. I don't want to be pushy, manipulate the relationship, scare him off, or anything like that. I want to enjoy my time with him and for everything to be natural and easygoing.
    I should say in April, when he asked me to officially be his girlfriend, he asked if I've ever been in love. Stunned by the question, I told him no, and left it at that. He then went on to say that he loves how easygoing I am, how I'm not like other girls he's dated, and asked me to promise to always stay that way (i.e. easygoing, no drama).

    I didn't ask him any questions, like if he's been in love, or why he was asking. Since then, there's been no talk of love. What's going on? While I think that a man should be the first one to say "I love you," I'm tired of not knowing how he truly feels. What should I do? I still love him, but not the way I used to (i.e. head-over-heels-crazy-in-love). He's my first serious relationship, and I really want things to work out between us. I should say that we're not that young, we're both in our mid to late 20s. Thanks for all your help! -- Confused
    Dear Confused: Last night, I had dinner with a friend who's in the beginning stages of a long-distance relationship, and she recalled something her college psych professor said about LDRs. He told the class there were two things that impact the success of a long-distance relationship: 1) resources (how often you can afford to see each other), and 2) an end date (at what point will one or both of you move to be with the other?). The Frisky: Moving long distance for love
    "Do you agree with those?" she asked, knowing my own long-distance relationship was so successful we ended up getting married a couple weeks ago. "Yes," I replied, "but I also think communication is even more important in an LDR than it is in relationships where both people live in the same area." It sounds to me, Confused, that you need help with at least two of those three points. The Frisky: Never say "I love you" first
    If you're tired of not knowing how your boyfriend feels about you, tired of not knowing where things are headed and whether the two of you have a future, why don't you ask him? Asking a question you genuinely want and deserve to know the answer to isn't being "manipulative" -- it's being emotionally honest.
    Maybe he's waiting for you to ask. Maybe when he asked if you'd ever been in love, he was hoping you'd engage him in a conversation about your feelings. He told you what he loves about you, but did you tell him what you love about him? You say you didn't ask him any questions in response to his inquiry, so perhaps he took that as a sign you weren't ready to discuss your feelings. The Frisky: Get a guy to say "I love you" first
    Eight months is a long time to go without some reassurance that your "head-over-heels-crazy-in-love" feelings are being shared, particularly when you're in a long-distance relationship and can't physically see the other person all the time, so it makes sense you're feeling confused.
    That giddiness one feels at the beginning of a relationship when the love is new and fresh and exciting is intensified when it's articulated and shared with the other person. When you know your partner is right there with you, that love magnifies, it envelops you, it kind of takes over your life for a little while. But when you aren't sure if your partner is there with you, it makes you question whether your feelings are actually real. If you knew he was "crazy in love," would it change anything for you?

    The Frisky: How men REALLY show they're In love


    The window of opportunity for this relationship is closing; you're already starting to emotionally pull away. Without some honest discussion about how you feel about each other and where you envision things going, there's not going to be much of a future. You need answers. So buck up and ask the questions, Confused. You may or may not get an "I love you" from him, but chances are you'll be a lot clearer about his feelings as well as your own. Good luck! E-mail to a friend [​IMG]


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  2. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Muwe mnazisema basi hizo "I love you" mabinti wanakosa raha kama hawazisikii
     
  3. Mvina

    Mvina JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 30, 2009
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    Hawa wanawake nao wamezidi bana kila sasa wanataka useme sa si tutachoka? Watuache tupumue kidogo...
     
  4. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

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    Ahsante BAK kuwakumbusha hawa viumbe.... we need to hear it more often kama capsule 2*4. LOL.

    problem is alot of african men dont like to show emotion and share feelings. kuna mtu namvizia kumpiga bonge la busu hadharani kama atakufa afe tumzike ahahhahahahah!!!!
     
  5. Mwana va Mutwa

    Mwana va Mutwa JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 30, 2009
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    kwanini unamvizia,huna uhakika kama atalikubali au?
     
  6. N

    Nyauba JF-Expert Member

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    Usimviziee mpeee live
     
  7. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

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    Namvizia because just like most African men, hapendi Public Show of Affection (PSA). sijui atakauka hapo hapo ama!! ehehehhehee
     
  8. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    Shishi una balaa wewe....litakuwa la historia hilo!...cna mbavu.
     
  9. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    sipati picha hilo kofi utakalopigwa litakuwa na uzito gani Shishi!!! Please muandae tu ajue mapema
     
  10. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

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    Sipo!!!! umenichekesha sana duh!! yaani hiyo surprise hata hatojua aanzie wapi we ngoja tu!
     
  11. KiuyaJibu

    KiuyaJibu JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 30, 2009
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    Haya tena,angalia usije ukapata kesi!Maana kwa jinsi unavyotaka kumfanyia huyo mtu asiyejulikana;ninachoona hapa huenda kukatokea kesi tena siyo chini ya mbili.
    Take care!!
     
  12. Gudboy

    Gudboy JF-Expert Member

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    hilo swala gumu sana, kila mara utamke, heheheeee
     
  13. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

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    uko sawa kabisa mkuu mie mwenyewe napenda sana kusikia my sukari ananiambia " I love u" hata kama ni 24/24x7 x 364
    hii ni kwa sababu mimi nafanya hivo:)
     
  14. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

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    mbona simpo jamani kama mwenzio ndo ana feel good talalalala so good
     
  15. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

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    hahahaaaa! **** mi ndo nataka hizo sana tu? isipokuwa kusema kila saa love ya ndo inanishindaga wakati mwingine, lakin nimeshajifunza najisemeaga tu.....inatoka tu yenyewe yani.

    Try me na PSA you will get trice that. hata mama kayaii anajua hilo ati.
     
  16. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 30, 2009
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    ...ushauri wangu muwe makini au mnarejea kwenye maandiko yenu. Unaweza kuandika neno moja tungo nzima ikawa inaleta utata.

    shukran.
     
  17. F

    FOE Member

    #17
    Sep 30, 2009
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    Ok, "I love you"!
     
  18. Jile79

    Jile79 JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    good.............remember that to love and to be loved is the greatest happiness in existence......................
     
  19. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 30, 2009
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    Hapo umemaliza kabisaaaa!
    Wenzetu wangejua haya maneno ni machache lakini uzito wake ni tons and tons.Ukizoea kuyasema basi mambo yako yatakuwa super kila siku.
    Angalizo: Usiyaseme bila kumaanisha maana ukiyatamka kama kasuku ujue yatakurudi kama dua mbaya.
     
  20. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 30, 2009
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    Shishi atakwambia, "We vipi!? nilishakwambia mambo ya kushikana mikono na kupigana mabusu barabarani miye sipendi kabisa na tafadhali usirudie tena." ha ha ha ha ha ha kazi kwako sijui utakuja na jibu gani hapo ;) labda kiss jingine la nguvu tena hapo hapo ha ha ha ha!
     
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