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"I don't care if you cheat on me as long as...."

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Nyani Ngabu, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    An old flame of mine once told me that she didn't care if I cheated on her so long as she doesn't find out about it or I don't do it to her face. I was taken aback by it. I didn't know what to think...but later on came to think about it and realized that she really wasn't into me like that..it's that she had such a low self esteem. She didn't think highly of herself no matter what. She was beautiful and all but she thought she had so many imperfections. What do you all think her problem was? Do you think she loved me so much that she wasn't ready to leave me no matter what I did to her?
     
  2. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Its not about low self esteem as such..many women who have experience with men will take that stance.
    If u r to chuck a man just because he cheated on you how many will u dump?
    Majority of women who would dump a guy just bcoz he cheated ni ama wako wapya kwenye mahusiano including ndoa changa au hawajui ukweli kuhusu maisha.
     
  3. Elli

    Elli JF-Expert Member

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    Changa la macho hiloooooo
    Hujui usemi usemao: Out of sight out of mind??? Haaaaaaa, watakucheka watu
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hmmm..I dig what you say but damn...if you tell a man that then you are telling him that you accept his cheating ways, right? If the tables were reversed I don't know how many men would accept that...the male ego is just too big...
     
  5. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    U just hold it at the back of ur mind.. telling him will be the dumbest thing to do.
     
  6. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Wow..okay...thanks for your perspective on this. I learned something new today.
     
  7. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    That is very true! It is too big...but there are very few who would be able accept that.
     
  8. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

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    If she tells u that...it means she doenst give a damn about u...
     
  9. M

    Mwanafunzi Member

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    To me this is very clear, if she doesn't find out about your cheating ways, how will she know you are cheating, and why would she care? as far as she should be concerned you are not cheating. It is not a matter of not caring or having a low self-esteem.
    A woman who says that is being realistic. She knows most if not all men cheat , some do it openly and some do it well hidden, and she prefers not knowing about it.....
     
  10. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

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    Does she need to tell him that? I mean WTF? u dont need to tell him everything honestly.... some things u gotta keep 'em for urself...
     
  11. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

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    She was simply telling you a fact of love life, that is, cheating happens and we all know it happens so better keep it a 'known secret'!
     
  12. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

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    Companero so cheating is the fact of love life?
     
  13. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

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  14. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Its better to accept and be prepared for the worst than bury your head in the sand!

    As for the male ego which some have urgued that it is too strong..i reserve my comments.
     
  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Nooo...just say what's on your mind. It's true though...the male ego is just too big...a man will take it so hard if his woman cheats on him than a woman would if she catches her man two timing on her. For a man, if his woman cheats on him it's like a violation of his manhood. That he wasn't man enough for her until she went and cheated on him with another man. It is so hard for men to forgive their women when it comes to cheating.
     
  16. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    I HEAR YOU... MAY BE HALIJAKUPATA... ukiwakuta ambao limewapata wanakuwa wapole tu......na husamehe hata kama hawasahau...
    Any counsellors in here? Watakuambia...its hard for both men and women ..hata wanawake its devastating... hujiuliza maswali kama hayo wanaume wanayojiuliza lakini ..life has to go on.
     
  17. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Sawa wanakuwa wapole lakini ego yao inakuwa bruised big time. Nakubali ndiyo hata kwa wanawake ni devastating lakini kwa wanaume duuuh...I think it's more devastating because there is a perception out there that men cheat more than women do (which I dispute, by the way)..so when the tables are turned....not only the women..but also other men would wonder what happened/ what was lacking until the woman decided to cheat...

    Maybe some of the fellas here will vouch for me...
     
  18. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

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    mmh mtoto mdg mie.........!!!!!!!!!!
    kuchitiwa kunanoga eennh?????????
    na inakuaje mpk unaamua kumuumiza mwenzio????
     
  19. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

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    THAT IS ''fear'' in ''LOVE''!
    SHE LOVES WITH FEAR (that she may lose you)!....
    LOVE WITHOUT FEAR IS THE REAL LOVE
     
  20. K

    KipimaPembe JF-Expert Member

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    She was doing the same to you! She was sure you wont find out. So she was ready if you do the same to her!! That's loud and clear man!
     
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