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Huu ndiyo umuhimu wa kuoa/kuolewa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by sulphadoxine, Jun 14, 2012.

  1. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 14, 2012
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    KUNA baadhi ya watu husema kuwa hawapendi ndoa kwa madai kwamba hazina dili. Je wewe unasemaje?


    Kwa mtazamo wangu ndoa ni muhimu pamoja na ukweli kuwa baadhi ya ndoa zina matatizo, lakini bado zinadumu.

    Msingi wa ndoa nyingi kuwa mbaya ni kwa sababu wengi wanaanza vibaya. Msichana unamtongoza saa 2:15 lakini ikifika saa 2:45 tayari mko nyumba ya wageni.

    Nilikuwa nazungumza na jamaa mmoja, akaniambia siku hizi kupata chumba kwenye nyumba hizo ni ngumu zaidi kuliko kumpata mwanamke.

    Mnapokuwa kwenye ndoa, iko heshima kutoka kwa jamii, pia ndoa inakupa hadhi ya aina yake mbele ya Mungu.
    Hakuna aliye kamili katika dunia hii, hata Mungu anakusamehe kwa njia zako na matendo yako, si kweli kwamba wewe ni msafi sana hadi leo bado uko hai, bali Mungu ni mwenye huruma anakusamehe.
    Aidha unapaswa kufahamu kuwa kuna faida za kuoa mapema. Ndoa tamu bwana asikwambie mtu tena ni raha uipate ndoa ukiwa kijana, nyumba ujenge ukiwa kijana, gari ununue ukiwa kijana, siyo hadi unakuwa babu.
    Faida ni kujenga maisha mapema, kujipanga vizuri na kujenga familia. Ni furaha unapokuwa na watoto ambao ni kama wadogo zako. Kuzaa ujana ni raha zaidi, kuliko ukizaa ukiwa na zaidi ya miaka 35.

    Pia usiogope kuoa mapema kwamba eti utapitwa na mambo ya ujana si kweli, mambo ya kujinafasi bado yapo, yalikuwepo na yataendelea kuwepo na yanakuwa ni ya kiutu uzima zaidi, ni ya staha na heshima mbele, fujo fujo hakuna.

    Pia kuna tafiti za kisayansi zinaonyesha watu wanaopata watoto wakiwa na zaidi ya umri wa miaka 35, wanapata watoto wenye akili ndogo.

    Wenye hoja za kutokuwa na mpango kabisa wa kuoa, wana matatizo ya kisaikolojia na wanapaswa kuachana na fikra hizo mbaya kwamba kuoana ni kubaya.

    Ukizoea sana kuishi kisela au kubadili wanaume au wanawake kama nguo, mwishowe unakuwa huwezi tena kutulia, na ndiyo hao ambao baadhi yao wamekuwa wakiona hakuna haja tena ya kuoana.

    Kuna wanaoogopa kuoa au kuolewa wakiamini ni jela fulani hivi, kumbe hilo si la kweli. Ukweli ni kwamba ukiwa kwenye uhusiano na mkaelewana vizuri, mafanikio huwa makubwa.
     
  2. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 14, 2012
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    fo sho mkuu. me like it very april. . . .
     
  3. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Ngoja nije na mchango,kwa sasa ngoja nikagonge makande ya nguvu kwanza!
     
  4. T

    Tewe JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Naona hiyo sulphadioxide imeshakudhulu
     
  5. Yummy

    Yummy JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Eeh mpaka ifike mwisho wa mwaka kichwa changu kitakua kimejenga hema la NDOA,NYUMBA KUBWA NA NYUMBA NDOGO DUUH!
     
  6. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 14, 2012
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    hapo kwenye heshima, ndoa haileti heshima, tabia zako, mwenendo wako ndo unaoleta heshima....
     
  7. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Mkuu Sulpha,ahsante kwa desa,sasa tumegee na faida za KUOLEWA tafadhali.
     
  8. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Yakhe kuolewa shughuli ya mabint weye waitakia nini?
     
  9. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Kwanini imenidhuru?
     
  10. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Inabidi a balansi mkuu.
     
  11. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Got u,well. . . . . . . . . . .!
     
  12. Comi

    Comi JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Mmmmmmmhhhhhh! Ngoja nikapige supu ya mkia kwanza
     
  13. Asnam

    Asnam JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jun 14, 2012
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    we mpana kwa nini hujaomba za kuoa kwanza:lock1::lock1:
     
  14. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 14, 2012
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    oa ukiwa umependa na sio ujana au kuonesha kwa watu. kudai kwamba ndoa za ujana zina raha zaidi si kweli la sivyo watu wa makamo (45+) wangekuwa wanadivorce kwa wingi
     
  15. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 14, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
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    Huyu mtaalamu ameongelea positively sababu za watu kutooa/olewa au kuchelewa kufanya hivyo
    By Samhita Mukhopadhyay

    ...Nevertheless, people are delaying marriage (or not getting married at all) far more than they used to. Is it just because all women are crazy, angry, slutty liars? Doubtful. Here are 10 much more realistic reasons for why you are probably not married:
    [h=3]1. You are focused on your career.[/h]And you are not going to apologize for it. Some people call this being a "bitch," because you are a lady and you have a job that you might be more focused on than smiling pretty and making sure you don't intimidate Mr. Right. Most of us just call this being alive in 2012 (you know the time the economy tanked and we had to work to eat).
    [h=3]2. You have standards.[/h]You know you could have settled for Mr. "I just don't like your friends," or, "I just don't think women have ever done anything important," or, "so, about that Ron Paul," or even, "I only cheated on you once," but you realized you could do better. And frankly, being alone is just more manageable and makes you happier than being in a relationship that's the pits. So you didn't marry him, even though you probably could have.
    [h=3]3. You can't afford it.[/h]According to the Brookings Institute marriage rates are down for people that don't have money. It's not even that women don't want to get married, as much as men don't feel ready to propose until they have the cash to support a family. There is no special Spanx you can buy that will bolster a man's self-esteem to convince him that you don't care he is broke. Many people are still tied to the idea that men have to out earn women, even though you have a job (remember that you are mega-focused on) and could probably support the both of you. Plus, the average cost of a wedding is 27, 000 dollars. Yes, you read that right.
    [h=3]4. You are waiting until all people can get married.[/h]Yup, that's right, your personal life is a ****ing statement about love in America. (Good job Obama and states that passed same-sex marriage legislation).
    [h=3]5. You don't need or want a symbolic public ceremony to celebrate something you already have.[/h]You already know you and boo are ride or die, why spend the money on a wedding when you can do that Spanish immersion program you have been planning for the entire time you've known each other? You two are an adventurous lot, committed to each other and show it in more genuine ways than the most traditional and played out way ever known to civilization.
    [h=3]6. You've got a life and friends that you are happy with.[/h]If a dude shows up that's cool, but you are not sweating it because every day is an awesome new adventure full of phone calls from loved ones, cupcakes, yoga classes and dance parties. You enjoy each minute, focus on the positive and when you are down (a symptom of life, not just single life) you have 500 friends to call, because you have spent time on all types of relationships, not just the kind that will lead to marriage. Friendship-the realest investment a lady can make.
    [h=3]7. Monogamy just doesn't work for you.[/h]You tried it and it didn't work. It's better to know now then put unrealistic expectations on yourself and your partner only to have a crappy break-up where it is revealed you are an infidel. We don't have "respectable" models of these characters (because often cheaters are assholes), so we assume they are all sex crazed home wreckers, but some are genuinely just born this way.
    [h=3]8. You are sexually liberated.[/h]See also: sexually adventurous, referred to as "slut" by people from the olden days, religious leaders, people that think vaginas are gross and Tracy McMillan. Right now, you just wanna get down, and that's not a lie, that's libido #realtalk.
    [h=3]9. You have "issues."[/h]And you fully realize this and want to deal with them before you get into a serious relationship. Instead of being irresponsible and shoveling them under a rug to save face and look like Mrs. Right, you are dealing with your shit and getting ready to be in a serious long-term relationship. That does not happen overnight and you shouldn't rush yourself because of some invented standard age by which you should be married.
    [h=3]10. You legitimately just don't want to get married.[/h]No, you are not lying to yourself; you actually just don't want to get married. You've been to lots of weddings, you appreciated some of the sentiments, you were happy for everyone, but you didn't walk out wishing it were you that got married. In fact, the idea of a wedding dress makes you break out into hives and you don't want a blood diamond, you think forever is bullshit and you have no interest in feeding into the romantic industrial complex. You have a hard time reconciling your politics with what you see as a deeply problematic institution. (Or, you're just an atheist.)
    [HR][/HR]
     
  16. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 14, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
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    Huyu ameongelea critically sababu zinazowafanya mabinti wasiolewe

    Written by Tracy McMillan

    • You're a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
    • You're a Liar: How to stop lying to men-and get honest with yourself-about the kind of relationship you really want. It's the only way.
    • You're Shallow: Being a woman who insists on a tall guy is no different from being a man who demands big boobs. Learn why you should let go of trying to get what you think you should have and focus on getting what you need.
    • You're Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It's about giving something, not getting it. The other big secret: You will have to go first.
     
  17. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Cha hajabu wote hawa ni wadhungu; kumbe nao wanaona si normal mtu kuwa single for life.
     
  18. Rohombaya

    Rohombaya JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 14, 2012
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    Hakuna lolote, kuoa ni sawa na kufungwa jela. mbona vitu vengine mnavichoka?? Nguo zenu mkizivaa kidogo tu mnazikinai, magari mnabadilisha kila mwaka, sasa iweje wewe unakuwa na mmoja miaka nenda rudi. Raha ya maisha ni mabadiliko, bora ndoa za mikataba baada ya miezi 6 mnakaa pamoja muone kama kuna haja ya ya kuwa pamoja kwa kipindi kingine
     
  19. L

    Lady G JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 14, 2012
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    kuna ka harufu ka ukweli hapa. Like imetorokea pande ghani?
     
  20. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 14, 2012
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    hata sishangai!
     
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