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Husband and Wife Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Toboamambo, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. T

    Toboamambo Member

    #1
    Sep 23, 2008
    Joined: Sep 16, 2007
    Messages: 26
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    Man: Is there any way for long life?
    Dr: Get married.
    Man: Will it help?
    Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
    ------------ --------- --------- ----
    Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
    It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
    Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
    It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
    and then he turns them into Wives.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    If u r married please ignore this msg,
    for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
    After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
    It's called marriage.
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    Girlfriends r like chocolates,
    taste good anytime.
    Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
    Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no choice.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
    Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    Q: Why dogs don't marry?
    A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would
    go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
    continue to do so for the rest of your life!
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
    A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
    Here comes the Ultimate One :)
    Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
    Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.:)
     
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