Lokissa
JF-Expert Member
- Nov 20, 2010
- 7,446
- 2,490
Dear Sir/Madam,
I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company
and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager.
Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on
this one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral
and all burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before
applying. I can remember you saying on the funeral that he will be
very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one at the moment. Well
it's your lucky day sir; you already have found the best employer for the
job so look no more.
It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I
stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For that I shall
forever be grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early
retirement and I guess this serves him well too. A deal that benefits
all should be the substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but
death is truly very fair. Just imagine the company no longer has to
pay his retirement funds.
The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation
allowance because he was my neighbour and it will be easy for me to
simply jump over into that beautiful big company house. I
also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers' licence as I am
sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me. And sir, don't
even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage
reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I
am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail.
I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV,
just verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will
be sending my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial
so that you can see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for
my referees, well the same dead manager was my referee so we can
safely skip that part.
I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning.
Thanks for advertising at the funeral because I could not have known.
Yours ever smiling even in tough times.
Engineer J. M. M.
I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company
and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager.
Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no vacancy but on
this one, I have caught you red handed coz I even attended the funeral
and all burial proceedings and made sure that he was truly dead before
applying. I can remember you saying on the funeral that he will be
very difficult to replace, meaning there is no one at the moment. Well
it's your lucky day sir; you already have found the best employer for the
job so look no more.
It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least now I
stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For that I shall
forever be grateful for his timely death. He too always spoke of early
retirement and I guess this serves him well too. A deal that benefits
all should be the substance of a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but
death is truly very fair. Just imagine the company no longer has to
pay his retirement funds.
The company will not have to worry about paying me a relocation
allowance because he was my neighbour and it will be easy for me to
simply jump over into that beautiful big company house. I
also took it into my hands to quickly buy a drivers' licence as I am
sure the Toyota 4x4 will also be handed over to me. And sir, don't
even try to cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage
reading on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I
am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail.
I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need for a CV,
just verification if I am up for the challenge. For that sir, I will
be sending my pictures taken whilst attending the funeral and burial
so that you can see how tough I was and can be when employed. As for
my referees, well the same dead manager was my referee so we can
safely skip that part.
I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still mourning.
Thanks for advertising at the funeral because I could not have known.
Yours ever smiling even in tough times.
Engineer J. M. M.
