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How to write a paper

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by X-PASTER, Feb 1, 2009.

  1. X-PASTER

    X-PASTER Moderator

    #1
    Feb 1, 2009
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
    Messages: 11,651
    Likes Received: 75
    Trophy Points: 145
    HOW TO WRITE A PAPER


    1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted
    place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make sure
    you understand it.

    3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some
    coffee to help you concentrate.

    4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit
    with your friend from class.

    5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight,
    comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place with
    plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely
    certain you understand it.

    7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met
    at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that
    letter & get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

    8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

    9. Listen to one side of your favorite cd and that's it,
    I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start
    that paper.

    10.Listen to the other side.

    11.Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.

    12. Phone your friend on the third floor and ask if he's
    started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks
    about the course your teacher, the university, the
    world at large.

    13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well
    lit place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words
    across your tongue; savor its special flavor.

    15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure that you
    aren't missing something worthwhile on TV... NOTE:
    When you have a paper due in less than twelve hours,
    anything from Masterpiece Theater to... Sgt Preston
    of the Yukon, is truly worthwhile.

    16. Catch the last hour of Days of our live

    17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was
    watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

    18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

    18.5. Look through your roommate's book of pictures
    from home. Ask who everyone is.

    19. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your
    plans for the future.

    20. Open your door and check to see if there are
    any mysterious trench-coated strangers lurking
    in the hall.

    21. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well
    lit place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    22. Read over the assignment one more time, just for
    the hell of it.

    23. Scoot your chair across the room to the window
    and watch the sunrise.

    24. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

    25. Leap up and write the paper.
     
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