How to say I luv you in Nigeria

[MaxShimba]

I will give you one kiss to go to sleep.
I give you two kisses to dream.
I give you an endless row of kisses to,
when you wake up in the morning, think of me. ;->

 

[MaxShimba]

If luvin' was against the law,
and kissin' was a crime,
i would gladly spend my life with u,
in prison doin' time.

 

[MaxShimba]

I Didn't Forget Your Birthday,
I'm Just Fashionably Late.
I'm So Sorry I Missed Your Birthday,
I Hope That You Had A Wonderful Day.
I May Have Forgotten Your Birthday,
But I Didn't Forget About You!
I Didn't Forget About Your Birthday;
I Just Wanted To Help Prolong The Celebration.

 

[MaxShimba]

Once a guy who recently had a breakoff wid her girlfriend was asked...........
have u left your girlfriend or she left you???
he smiled and answered ..............


LOVE LEFT US !!!!!!

 

[MaxShimba]

With my
1 Heart…
2 eyes…
5 litre blood…
206 bones…
1.2million Red Cells…
60 trillion D.N.A.’s…
I wish u “All the very best of LUCK”…

 

[MaxShimba]

Meaning of some colors,
Yellow for special friend,
white for peace,
orange 4 luck,
black for hate,
red for love and
pink for likeness,
So i choose for u Orange Flower.
Wish u good luck

 

[MaxShimba]

The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.

 

[MaxShimba]

Shakespear said don’t worry!
because if u r worried u get a wrinkle,
So why don’t u smile & get a dimple.
Always smile and be happy

 

[MaxShimba]

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance
that they’ll love u back! Don’t expect love in return;
just wait for it to grow in their hearts.
But if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours.

 

[MaxShimba]

The one thing we can never get enough of is love.
And the one thing we never give enough is love.

 

[MaxShimba]

Im sure ur feet must be hurting.......cos u've been running through my mind

 

[MaxShimba]

Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.

Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please

Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

 

[MaxShimba]

Fact1: You can not touch
your lower lip with your tounge…

Fact2: After reading this,
99/100 ****** would try it.

 

[MaxShimba]

Fact1: You can not touch
your lower lip with your tounge…

Fact2: After reading this,
99/100 ****** would try it.

Ooooops, I did it!

 

[MaxShimba]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
For all the single ladies
searching for love. I’m
a 33
years old wealthy businessman looking for lady to spoil and to start a family
with. Those interested
can mail their C.V's with photo’s to lover@yahoo.com






One
of my houses

One
of my cars to be delivered on 10/07/2009

This
is me off-course

[/FONT]

 

[MaxShimba]

Your mobile phone beeps, you have received a text message.

It begins: "I swear, I will make sure I give you HIV..."

But it's not an abusive threat, it's a "romantic" text message copied from a book on sale all over Nigeria that professes to give young people the words they need to court the woman or man of their dreams.

"H is for Happiness and joy forever with an I: Incomparable love that will never V: Vanish until death do us part. I love you," the message concludes.

The book, called "Touching the heart through unforgettable text messages (vol.2)" is one of several on sale in markets around the country that give suggestions to tongue-tied young lovers.

Text compulsion

Nigerians are compulsive text senders.

Corny "romantic" messages and jokes are constantly being sent, received and recycled.

Many men complain that women send them "hot" text messages, but all they really want is money, while women say they are pestered by men sending "romantic" texts when all their suitors really want is sex.

But the book's author, 33-year-old entrepreneur Femi Emmanuel, says he writes text messages for people who are too busy, or illiterate, to properly express what is in their hearts.

He is not married but says he sends "special" text messages to his girlfriend - original ones, not out of his books.

The sale of all four volumes has been such a success he has bought a car with the proceeds.

"People have really embraced the mobile phone here in Nigeria, but they may not be smart enough to know what to say in these kind of situations, or maybe they're too busy, running an office or whatever," he said.

'Bollywood' inspired

He gets inspiration from Indian "Bollywood" films and Mexican or Nigerian soap operas.

"I was watching a Bollywood film and the main actor said to his female lead 'hey baby, I'm a crazy lover'," Mr Emmanuel told the BBC.

"I thought 'that's good,' I paused the DVD and copied down the subtitles."

The text message threatening HIV was inspired by watching a Nigerian film.

"In the film, a man threatened a woman with giving her HIV. I thought how could I turn this acronym into a message?"

"You could send the first sentence on its own," he says.

"You are putting them in suspense, to create fear, and then you follow up with the interpretation that will give them joy and happiness."

The BBC asked people on the streets of the capital Abuja what they thought of the message.

Ferdinand Nwonye, 36, a civil servant, said he thought the message was funny.

"The person would first be scared, and then as they went through it they would start laughing," he said.

He added that the text books are mostly used by teenagers.

"I like sending romantic texts to my wife, but I think of my own, I don't need one of these books."

But not everyone sees it that way.

Businesswoman Janet Babalola, 35, says she gets romantic text messages from her husband.

"But if I got something like that I would be shocked," she says.

Mr Emmanuel, who paid for his high school education by selling newspapers at the roadside, borrowed 75,000 naira ($637; £363) from his brother to publish the first book.

He sold thousands of copies in cities all over the country.

Cheesy?

What may appear cheesy and ridiculous to western eyes may not be so creepy to Nigerians, says a well-known agony aunt.

Nana, who answers readers' questions about relationships in the Weekly Trust newspaper, says Nigerians might see the words differently to native speakers of English.

"I think this boy who wrote these texts is a bit of a poet," she says.

"A lot of us in this part of the world are translating in our heads constantly from our local languages to English."

"A lot of Nigerian languages don't have a difference between 'love' and 'like', so a lot of these messages will come across as a love proposition when what the sender really means is 'I like you'."

But the texts can also serve as "adverts" which people can use to attract attention to themselves, with seedy intent, she says.

"Many girls and boys too are out on the road looking for customers, and it is only natural that technology has made that a bit easier."

Send us your favourite romantic texts to +44 7786205085 or use the form below and a selection will be printed below and be broadcast on the

programme on Saturday 11 October at 0400 GMT and 0600 GMT.

A selection of the texts received so far:

If u think I think about u all d time, then u are wrong, cos i think about u when i miss u.... but damn it, i miss u all d time!!! 
Alex O, Lagos, Nigeria

Txt 1: I'll rather be a ghost drifting silently by ur side 4 as long as it'll take 2 be wit U...than 2 walk in2 d gates of heaven...w'out knowing in ma heart in joy of luvin U.....

Txt 2: I prefer 2 hear U speak than 2 a thousand nightingale symphonies in d break of d dawn....

Txt 3: D clouds n d skies...d waters n d oceans...d sands n d earth...Me n U...

Txt 4: I'll keep on loving U until it rains in hell.... 
Chuzee

My eyes are jealous of my heart because it is always with u. 
khwima mchizi, Zomba, Malawi

If loving you is a crime, let me be a criminal 
Joy, lagos

I'M ABOUT 2 SHOT SOME ARROWS INTO UR LIVE'S.AR U READY?-->>PEACE-->>LOVE-->>FEVOR-->>LONGLIFE--FOREVER. 
Emmanuel Davou Choji, jos,Nigeria

My love for you is like Diarrohea, it flows like a river. 
Salan, Dubai

A good friend is like a good bra. Hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. You'll forever be my BRA! 
Olawale B, London

u r the only mosquito in my net 
Patrick, London

I'm stock in Lagos traffic and I'm happy, cos I'm coming home to you!! 
Chinedu, Lagos

The man that evented alfabet A,B,C,D.....Z is a genious.But he made a mistake by not puting U & I together. 
jr, ghana,accra

Tea needs sugar, I need u.. 
Tatenda Mpofu, Kariba, Zimbabwe

My love if luving u is crime ,let me face the consequences 
Soloke, Nigeria

A friend is a person who knoz the song of yo heart& can sing it back 2 u wen u 4get the words.u r my friend. 
GZambika, lusaka

baby my love for you is as sweet as early morning porridge with extra sugar and freshly baked bread. I will protect your heart like the calabash that holds the porridge. I will cherish you like the rare hamattan pawpaw I have as dessert on such cold harmattan mornings. Be my porridge and I will be your bread. 
KweKu B, USA

im sure ur feet must be hurting.......cos u've been running through my mind 
Aisha, Lagos, Nigeria

Thanks mkuu

 

[MaxShimba]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
For all the single ladies
searching for love. I'm
a 33
years old wealthy businessman looking for lady to spoil and to start a family
with. Those interested
can mail their C.V's with photo's to lover@yahoo.com






One
of my houses

One
of my cars to be delivered on 10/07/2009

This
is me off-course

[/FONT]

Kesha pata mke huyu

 

[MaxShimba]

Your mobile phone beeps, you have received a text message.It begins: "I swear, I will make sure I give you HIV..."But it's not an abusive threat, it's a "romantic" text message copied from a book on sale all over Nigeria that professes to give young people the words they need to court the woman or man of their dreams."H is for Happiness and joy forever with an I: Incomparable love that will never V: Vanish until death do us part. I love you," the message concludes.The book, called "Touching the heart through unforgettable text messages (vol.2)" is one of several on sale in markets around the country that give suggestions to tongue-tied young lovers.Text compulsionNigerians are compulsive text senders.Corny "romantic" messages and jokes are constantly being sent, received and recycled.Many men complain that women send them "hot" text messages, but all they really want is money, while women say they are pestered by men sending "romantic" texts when all their suitors really want is sex.But the book's author, 33-year-old entrepreneur Femi Emmanuel, says he writes text messages for people who are too busy, or illiterate, to properly express what is in their hearts.He is not married but says he sends "special" text messages to his girlfriend - original ones, not out of his books.The sale of all four volumes has been such a success he has bought a car with the proceeds."People have really embraced the mobile phone here in Nigeria, but they may not be smart enough to know what to say in these kind of situations, or maybe they're too busy, running an office or whatever," he said.'Bollywood' inspiredHe gets inspiration from Indian "Bollywood" films and Mexican or Nigerian soap operas."I was watching a Bollywood film and the main actor said to his female lead 'hey baby, I'm a crazy lover'," Mr Emmanuel told the BBC."I thought 'that's good,' I paused the DVD and copied down the subtitles."The text message threatening HIV was inspired by watching a Nigerian film."In the film, a man threatened a woman with giving her HIV. I thought how could I turn this acronym into a message?""You could send the first sentence on its own," he says."You are putting them in suspense, to create fear, and then you follow up with the interpretation that will give them joy and happiness."The BBC asked people on the streets of the capital Abuja what they thought of the message.Ferdinand Nwonye, 36, a civil servant, said he thought the message was funny."The person would first be scared, and then as they went through it they would start laughing," he said.He added that the text books are mostly used by teenagers."I like sending romantic texts to my wife, but I think of my own, I don't need one of these books."But not everyone sees it that way.Businesswoman Janet Babalola, 35, says she gets romantic text messages from her husband."But if I got something like that I would be shocked," she says.Mr Emmanuel, who paid for his high school education by selling newspapers at the roadside, borrowed 75,000 naira ($637; £363) from his brother to publish the first book.He sold thousands of copies in cities all over the country.Cheesy?What may appear cheesy and ridiculous to western eyes may not be so creepy to Nigerians, says a well-known agony aunt.Nana, who answers readers' questions about relationships in the Weekly Trust newspaper, says Nigerians might see the words differently to native speakers of English."I think this boy who wrote these texts is a bit of a poet," she says."A lot of us in this part of the world are translating in our heads constantly from our local languages to English.""A lot of Nigerian languages don't have a difference between 'love' and 'like', so a lot of these messages will come across as a love proposition when what the sender really means is 'I like you'."But the texts can also serve as "adverts" which people can use to attract attention to themselves, with seedy intent, she says."Many girls and boys too are out on the road looking for customers, and it is only natural that technology has made that a bit easier."Send us your favourite romantic texts to +44 7786205085 or use the form below and a selection will be printed below and be broadcast on theprogramme on Saturday 11 October at 0400 GMT and 0600 GMT.A selection of the texts received so far:If u think I think about u all d time, then u are wrong, cos i think about u when i miss u.... but damn it, i miss u all d time!!! 
Alex O, Lagos, NigeriaTxt 1: I'll rather be a ghost drifting silently by ur side 4 as long as it'll take 2 be wit U...than 2 walk in2 d gates of heaven...w'out knowing in ma heart in joy of luvin U.....Txt 2: I prefer 2 hear U speak than 2 a thousand nightingale symphonies in d break of d dawn....Txt 3: D clouds n d skies...d waters n d oceans...d sands n d earth...Me n U...Txt 4: I'll keep on loving U until it rains in hell.... 
ChuzeeMy eyes are jealous of my heart because it is always with u. 
khwima mchizi, Zomba, MalawiIf loving you is a crime, let me be a criminal 
Joy, lagosI'M ABOUT 2 SHOT SOME ARROWS INTO UR LIVE'S.AR U READY?-->>PEACE-->>LOVE-->>FEVOR-->>LONGLIFE--FOREVER. 
Emmanuel Davou Choji, jos,NigeriaMy love for you is like Diarrohea, it flows like a river. 
Salan, DubaiA good friend is like a good bra. Hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. You'll forever be my BRA! 
Olawale B, Londonu r the only mosquito in my net 
Patrick, LondonI'm stock in Lagos traffic and I'm happy, cos I'm coming home to you!! 
Chinedu, LagosThe man that evented alfabet A,B,C,D.....Z is a genious.But he made a mistake by not puting U & I together. 
jr, ghana,accraTea needs sugar, I need u.. 
Tatenda Mpofu, Kariba, ZimbabweMy love if luving u is crime ,let me face the consequences 
Soloke, NigeriaA friend is a person who knoz the song of yo heart& can sing it back 2 u wen u 4get the words.u r my friend. 
GZambika, lusakababy my love for you is as sweet as early morning porridge with extra sugar and freshly baked bread. I will protect your heart like the calabash that holds the porridge. I will cherish you like the rare hamattan pawpaw I have as dessert on such cold harmattan mornings. Be my porridge and I will be your bread. 
KweKu B, USAim sure ur feet must be hurting.......cos u've been running through my mind 
Aisha, Lagos, Nigeria

It is funny

 

[Capt Tamar]

No body loves you nobody cares about you nobody think about you you are in nobodys mind all the time oh sorry MY NAME IS NOBODY