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How to help a woman who needs a devorce

Discussion in 'Habari na Hoja mchanganyiko' started by Felixonfellix, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. Felixonfellix

    Felixonfellix JF-Expert Member

    Apr 29, 2010
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    1)pray your heart out. Ask God to reveal to you your shortcomings as her husband. This is hard to do because it hurts our pride.

    2)APOLOGIZE for those things, no matter how insignificant they may seem to you. If they hurt her, they are significant.

    3) Be loving to her, ESPECIALLY when she is being disrespectful to you. She will be FLOORED and it will soften her heart.

    4) Find ways to be close and connect with her. Help her prepare a meal or sit in the kitchen and talk to her as she prepares a meal. Be affectionate without sexual intentions, hug her when she is upset. Go out of your way to do nice things for her.

    5) Ask her to talk about her day/feelings and LISTEN to her without trying to fix it. Maybe go on a walk. If you normally do not open up, share personal things and feelings with her. I don't know why, but women need that to strengthen bonds.

    6) Let her vent frustration and hurt without you getting angry or closing her off.

    7) Don't correct her in front of the kids (if you have them), don't look lustfully at other women, include her in social gatherings when others may leave spouses home, tell the kids "Don't speak to your mom that way", keep commitments, call to let her know your plans, speak positively of her and the kids.

    8)Show her high esteem. Tell her you are proud of a specific way she handles something, speak highly of her in front of others, encourage and praise her, NOTICE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HER HAIR OR CLOTHES, be physically affectionate with her in public, teach kids to show her respect, choose family outings over guy things, make her feel first in importance.

    9) Start keeping a journal for her that you write in EVERY DAY. Jot down at least 5 things you are thankful for about her, ways she made you proud that day, things you like about her, fond memories you have of her, the qualities you love about her, things you admire about her, etc.

    10) Do these regardless of how she is treating, loving or respecting you. ESPECIALLY do them if she is being hurtful to you. This is how you demonstrate God's love and forgiveness to your wife. It will hurt your pride at first, but you will be rewarded. It may take some time.. but a woman cannot resist falling in love (or back in love) with a man who treats her in this way.
  2. Mom

    Mom JF-Expert Member

    Apr 29, 2010
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    Thanks a lot Felix, hope all men will read this and apply it in their marriage!
  3. Ndibalema

    Ndibalema JF-Expert Member

    Apr 29, 2010
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    You mean DIVORCE right? Not Devorce.
  4. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    Apr 29, 2010
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    This is powerful but difficult for most men! It requires humility and grace of GOD!