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How to help a friend with a drinking problem?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Noname, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 18, 2010
    Joined: Feb 8, 2010
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    I know I am coming up with such complicated issue and I know this problem might require professional help but I trust you guys can help too...

    A friend of mine is married for almost 15 years now and has three kids... her husband has a drinking problem (alcoholism). When I say he has drinking problem I mean that, he drinks during the day and night, he drinks an excess amount of alcoholic not just few bears and when he drinks he become angry and violent...

    Now u know how difficult to live with such person and my friend is saying she having enough putting up with his behavior. I've advised her to be patient with him and try to help him for the sake of the kids...


    See I am not a bitch by trying to help my friend to break up with her Boyfriend in other thread:) this time I am trying to save my friend's marriage, now would u help me pls...
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 18, 2010
    Joined: Dec 20, 2009
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    Question number one...if violent has he ever hit the wife or kids and how long has this been going on? If Yes, ones hit never stops...she has to leave - to help him. To help him, he has to help himself, lazima akubali yeye mwenyewe kwamba anatatizo.

    I have seen alcoholics who even when they suffer backouts they still refuse they have a problem. Akikubali anatatizo, kuna counselors wengi wanaweza kumsaidia kudeal na tatizo. Akikataa anatatizo just pray, and possibly his best friend(if he is not an alcoholic....to assist him in the journey to realise he has a problem). Please make no mistake, children growing and seeing what papa does, imprints in their hearts and brain.

    Also, look at some events which may have triggered this behaviour/behavioural change. I guess he was not an alcoholic when they got married? Return to the source that is where the answer lies.
     
  3. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 18, 2010
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    Thanks dear... I think he only gets violent when he is high.... he never hit her but he did hit the kids... ooow boy this is gonna be tough... i will have to get back to u ....
     
  4. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 18, 2010
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    then the lady ana matatizo sana, tolerating the problem for 15 years??? clap, clap!!
     
  5. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 19, 2010
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    De Nova Dont clap pls... she is not that strong believe me...

    Actually his problem started 3 or 2 yrs back, he is a businessman, during the world economic crises he lost almost everything and he is in big debts right now.... he drinks to forget his problems...

    As for my friend I think she dont just love him but she is in love with him... thats why she is in great pain to see him this way...
     
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