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How to heal a broken heart

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Safety last, Apr 23, 2011.

  1. Safety last

    Safety last JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Wanajamii naomba ushauri namna ya kumsahau mtu niliyempenda sana then akanisaliti, i have try many things still i remember her, we were in 5 years rlshp suddenly everything got to an end its a year now 'nimehama nyumba ,nimetafuta mpenzi mwingine ila nkamwambia ukweli that i dont feel her love so peaceful we end, what to do exactly guys to forget that woman whom i ws so serious and trust her so much., im tired of her image?
     
  2. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Dah,lets wait wadau,coz am facing da same p'blem,asante kwa kuuleta mjadala here
     
  3. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Tatizo haswa ni nini?Unataka kumsahau?Kuacha kumfikiria?Kuacha kumpenda?
     
  4. Safety last

    Safety last JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Mbona nimesema ,i want to forget her completly
     
  5. m

    masssaiboi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Get rid of all the memoirs that reminds you of her, hata kama ni zawadi gani nzuri alikununulia tupa au choma moto.
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Kwahiyo ukisema hivyo ndo umejibu kila kitu??Narudia tena Umeshaacha kumpenda?Ukimwona na mtu mwingine una/utajisikia vipi?Ukisikia anaumwa utajisikiaje?Hua unamuwaza vipi..kwa mazuri au kwa mabaya?
     
  7. itnojec

    itnojec JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 23, 2011
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    hatari tupu, bora mm nisiyejua kupenda...kumbe ukipenda unapata tabu tuuuu, kumbe haina haja.:A S 465:
     
  8. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Pole haya mambo huwa yanawatatiza wengi na ni kawaida, kwa sasa unatakiwa ukae japo bila uhusiano ili ujipe muda wa kumsahau sababu unapoanzisha uhusiano mwingine wakati bado unampenda unazidi kujiumiza wewe na huyo uliye nae, Ondoa picha ziweke mbali hata kwenye boxi hivi, jitahidi usiende mahali ambapo utakuwa unamwona mara kwa mara, Omba Mungu akupatie wa kufanana na wewe kitabia na kila kitu ili umpende kwa dhati hapo utaweza kumsahau
     
  9. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Ushawahi kuona movie ya boomerang? yaani kila binadamu anayo end of the road yake utakwepa lakini utanasa tu na ukinasa kwa vile unajidanganya hutaki kufall utakuwa unafight ile hali mpaka homa inakupata
     
  10. Safety last

    Safety last JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    thank you!
     
  11. itnojec

    itnojec JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    GaGa, nilishapenda nikaumizwa saaana...baada ya muda donda likapona na nikaweka nadhiri sitopenda tena kwa dhati , hapa i only show chemistry and affection ila true love, never again.
     
  12. Nemo

    Nemo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 23, 2011
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    1. Acknowledge the fact the she has moved on
    • Achana na mawazo or any foolish hopes kwamba huko alikoenda kutalipuka ajute and so on.
    • Stop comparing yourself and her new love (if there is one) ,maana whether or not jamaa ni looser she chose him over you!
    2. Accept and/or resolve any feelings you have regarding her and the break up.
    • The fact that she broke your heart, doesnt erase all that you shared. So its ok to miss her every now and then!
    • Scream, yell and or cry if you so feel like , instead of pretending you are fine with all that happened
    • Realize that, even though she can not be substituted, with another woman you will in time find another person to love
     
  13. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 23, 2011
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    • Try to understand why you are upset. Understand that everything happens for a reason. What exact moment made you feel upset?




    • Don't think about whose fault it was - at one time or another, everyone makes mistakes. Don't worry about it.
    • Do something quiet and relaxing to help you feel better. Maybe you want to take a hot bath, or meditate, or read a book. That's fine.
    • In an hour, or two, or whenever you're ready, start thinking about whether you are ready to accept the other person's feelings.
    • If you are, go ahead, call them, write them a note, or whatever you need to do. Maybe you want to talk face-to-face. They may not be willing to see you, or talk to you, but you should make an effort. Even if they turn you down, you feel better that you tried, and maybe they'll recognize that you made an effort.
    • Understand what causes a broken heart in the first place. When we are in a mutual loving relationship we are constantly transferring our life energy (chi/ka/qi/prana) to our beloved automatically and more so when we think of them. This is based on the Huna principle: "Energy flows where attention goes". In a balanced relationship this transference of life energy is strong and has equal amounts of incoming and outgoing life energy. This helps both members feel secure and stable in a relationship even if it might be long distance. An unbalanced relationship causes this energetic flow to fall out of sync and results in an uneven distribution of incoming and outgoing life energy. This is why when we feel insecure, needy or clingy in a relationship even when there might not be a real reason behind it. The likely cause for this is because you stopped being your ex's main attention point in life and your ex didn't allow energy to flow back to you. Your ex might have had some other priorities (new job, changes in family, moving to a new city) and this lack of incoming energy is what causes one to become needy, anxious, unsettled and insecure in a relationship. But now that you have been told that you won't be able to continue your relationship with your beloved there is a conflict in mind and heart. You are still transferring life energy to your beloved automatically by thinking of them(you do love them after all!) but this is resulting in an inner conflict as you know you should stop. Your heart chakra is wide open and your mind now knows that you won't be getting any more incoming energy back from your beloved but your energetic body is still expecting it. This is why there is a great need to focus your energy on other aspects of life to balance your outgoing energy to something that will require your complete focus.
    • What we miss when drawing away from a relationship is that we can't express our love anymore to someone. Ways to continue this form of heartfelt expression (and keep our wellbeing in balance on an energetic level) is to write poetry, paint, sing, dance, and do whatever it takes to allow you to transform your pain into something productive!
    • Move on. When you feel you are ready to open your heart again, find someone else to be with.Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.
    • Remember the 2-year rule. It takes 2 years to learn a new job, to get accustomed to a new town and to completely heal a broken heart. If you follow these steps without remembering this first, you will be overly optimistic and disappointed. Real results are obtainable when realistic expectations are set.
    • The moment he, she or it hammers the last drop of blood from your still loving/beating heart, stop arguing with that person or the fantasy voice of that person about how they are wrong and you are right. Everytime you catch yourself arguing your point in your own mind, just say stop and focus on something completely different.
    • Put away the memories. When you regain composure from step 2, put the remainder candy wrappers, music, item of smell memory in the box with the rest of the memory debris. Keep out the picture.
      • Every day for a week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud, "Forget you and the horse you rode in on," or some other suitable invective and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop. Say it out loud, be your filthy angriest self in these mutterings.
      • Every day for the second week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud. I miss you, and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop.
      • Every day for the third week when you walk by the picture of your former soul mate, say I am sorry out loud to the picture.
    • Replace the picture of your former dearest, with a picture of yourself. But keep the picture in the same place, just put a picture of you on top of it. Then every day when you walk by the picture, say I am sorry out loud to the picture. Yes you are apologizing to yourself for having gone that far around the bend for someone who didn't know your value and worth, and who doesn't matter anymore.
    • Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.
    • Practice being honest to yourself every day. In fact, be honest to everyone. Living in the truth of every moment will allow you to carve your way to a better relationship the next time around.
    • Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.
    • If you feel ready, start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months. Be careful about how you mention your ex to people you date, others can easily tell where your heart still truly lies and if just the mention of your ex's name makes your eyes well up, then you definitely need more time to heal before seeing other people. Jumping from one relationship to the next will not make you feel better in the long run as unresolved issues will appear in your new relationship.
    • Speak to people. Speak to friends. They have all been through the same and will gladly help ease your burden of dealing with a broken heart.
     
  14. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 23, 2011
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    Hizo chemistry na affection ndio zitakufikisha kwenye love, yule hakuwa wa kwako alipitishwa tu na Mungu kwako ili akutane na aliyepangiwa , umeona umeachana nae sababu Mungu tayari kwenye mavitabu yake kakuandikia utaishia kwa nani, labda sasa hivi anacheza kimama mama au kidali pole, mtu haoi mke wa mtu na mtu aolewi na mume wa mtu
     
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