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How to Call in Sick when You Just Need a Day Off

Discussion in 'JF Chit-Chat' started by Mtambuzi, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    Nov 28, 2011
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Everyone needs the occasional unscheduled day of leisure. Here is how to get yours without raising suspicions at work.

    Complain about fake symptoms. A day before your day-off, make hints about your flu by casually reporting about your untrue flu-like symptoms throughout the whole day to your colleagues. For example, say that your bones hurt and you feel a little sore on that day. This way, your coworkers can make the connection to your symptoms from the day before.
    Call your boss early the next morning. Do not delay because it will cause displeasure to your boss. And also you will want to avoid your boss from labeling you as a bad employee by not informing him or her early. Moreover, if you call early, you will have a rather rough voice after waking up. This will give you some added credibility
    Make the call a short one. Just say that you are not coming in as you are calling in sick that day. Excellent choices are severe headache or stomach ailment, as they are common. Don't get too detailed. For instance, don't say that you were sick at 12:34 last night or your computer has yet to be cleaned of the vomit.
    Be prepared for a Q&A session. Is your boss nosy? Anxious about the sickness (if you work in food service, for example)? Try to imagine what kinds of questions your boss might have. Food poisoning? Contagious? Have you called a doctor? Have you taken anything? Try to have answers for these questions prepared ahead of time; otherwise you'll be fumbling and might lose your story.
    Get off the phone as quickly as possible; stories are told by liars. The longer you are on the phone, the better chance you have to mess something up.

    Good Examples of a Sick Statement

    • "Morning. I'm not going to be in today. I was up all last night sick. My stomach feels terrible."
    • "I won't be in today, I am not feeling well."
    • "I've spent the last 12 hours either in bed or in the bathroom. I don't think I should go to work today."
    • "I'm in terrible shape, and I just don't think it would be fair to you or my co-workers (and/or customers if you're in the retail or food industry) to come to work in this condition - I'd be pretty useless like this."
    • "I'm using a sick day today" (Usually stories are told when you are lying).
    • "Hi, this is so-and-so, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it in today. I've been up since 1:00 am."
    • "I'm not feeling too well, I think I might have a stomach flu" No one likes details about vomit or diarrhea. This should put off more questions or well meant "how-are-you-visits?"
    Alternative Contact Method
    Find alternative ways of contacting your boss. This can be calling your boss' voice mail or SMS or even sending an e-mail rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller, as well as having to make your voice sound sick. Also, get ready for what to say when the time comes. There isn't always an option to erase and re-record your message if you mess up.

    Fake Sick at Work Method
    Act sick at work. If you really want people to believe you, go to work as per normal. Bring a can of soup with you. When there are at least three people in the room at work, hold your stomach, groan loudly, hold your mouth and then dart into the bathroom. Someone will probably come into the bathroom simply because they will get curious, so close the door and make puking sounds while dumping the soup.
    Put on some make up. Spread some soup on your mouth, hold your stomach and come out. Either wash the soup on your mouth in the sink or if you want to be daring, come out holding your stomach with the "vomit" on your face and act dizzy.

  2. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

    Nov 28, 2011
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    Hii imetulia, dah..!
  3. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    Nov 28, 2011
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    when you need a sick day you won't have this much creativity as you need nothing but rest.
  4. Zinduna

    Zinduna JF-Expert Member

    Nov 28, 2011
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    Haki ya Mungu kuna watu ni wabunifu wa mbinu za kuibia waajiri, sijapata kuona, yaani mpaka mtu ajibebeshe bakuli la supu, ili kusingizia kuwa ni matapishi! Najua walevi na wavivu wataipenda hii, ngoja waje