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How far should we go?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanajamiiOne, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #1
    Mar 26, 2009
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    Wapendwa am so confused and frustrated. I just want to know to what extent should we be open to our partners? Sizungumzii juu ya siri zetu sisi kama partners mfano una affair, ulipitiwa na shetani ukachepuka kidogo no.

    Nazungumzia kuhusu kuwa wawazi juu ya familia zetu mfano umeoa au kuolewa then kuna vitu vya familia yako Mf. Baba yako kuwa na tabia mbaya kama fuska ambazo wewe unazifahamu. Au siri yoyote ya familia yako wewe

    Je ni vizuri kumwambia mwenzako au uuchune tu?
     
  2. S

    Shingo Senior Member

    #2
    Mar 26, 2009
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    As far as it takes. Kuwa pamoja means sharing. Hayo makolokolo ya kifamilia msiposhea, tatizo ni pale mtu atakapojua from other sources. Atakuona ulimficha. Kwa nini ufiche. Vitu kama historia ya wizi, mwenzio akigundua anaweza hisi kuna siku mtamgeuka mmwibie, vinginevyo kwa nini hukumwambia ili hela yake aifiche vizuri zaidi anapokuwepo huyo mwenye katabia hako? hata kama ni babako!!
     
  3. M

    MzalendoHalisi JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 26, 2009
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    Chagua tu yale yanayojenga!

    Mabaya akijagundua baadae poa tu!

    Huwezi sema kila kitu: yaani useme hata mama yangu alikuwa tu na ndoa moja na mzee na tumezaliwa 8 ila kati yetu 4 siyo wa baba! sasa hapo unamfundisha mke tabia gani?

    Kusema kila kitu kama ni mtu mbeya basi anaweza kuiaibisha familia yenu kwao!
     
  4. S

    Shingo Senior Member

    #4
    Mar 26, 2009
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    Kusema kweli mambo haya vijana wakati wa uchumba huwa wanazembea na kuyadharau. Siri hizi huwa muhimu sana kujua mtu ana mtazamo gani kuhusu mambo. Kwa mfano kutokana na familia yake ilivyo, mwingine anaona wanandoa kutembea nje si jambo baya kwa sababu amewaona wazazi wakifanya hivyo mara kwa mara.

    Sasa ukimwambia mwenzio ni vizuri, ili kisaikolojia ajue kuwa ikiwa itatokea hali kama hii reaction ya mwenzie itakuwa nini.

    Haya mambo ya kusema siri hata hivyo hapa bongo hata ukisema siri zote hakuna anayejali, au hatuzijali wakati ndo muhimu kweli.

    Mi nilipooa mke wangu alikuwa mwaminifu sana, lakini akasema babake alikuwa na watoto kibao nje. Hivyo yeye anaamini kuwa wanaume wote hutoka nje. Kutokana na kufikiria hivyo, hata nifanye nini kumhakikishia sitoki nje bado hakubali. Hatimaye yeye katoka, kwa kuhisi tu kuwa mimi nimeshatoka. Baada ya kugundua anatoka, ninawaka, yeye anaona ni kosa dogo tuuu!!!

    Ningejua ningeifanyia kazi hiyo siri, nisingeoa hapooooo.
     
  5. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #5
    Mar 27, 2009
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    Nimeuliza hivyo kwa sababu inanichanganya. Kuna wanaokubali kuwa ni vema kusema but kuna wanaosema ukimwambia kila kitu atakunyanyasa navyo. Yaani ukifanya kitu cha kumwuudhi utasikia ndo maana mzazi wako kafanya hivi sishangai.... ilimradi tabu na ni kweli mimi imeshanikuta hadi najuta kwa nini nilimwambia lakini bado inanisumbua kwa sababu ninavyofahamu tunatakiwa tuwe open and there is no secrets between wapenzi but mh some has to be kept for the sake of it au?
     
  6. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #6
    Mar 27, 2009
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    ... Unaona sasa?


    Mimi ilinitokea kwa boyfriend mmoja yeye akawa anawatangazia rafiki zake ... msimwone anaringa (Sijui kama nilikuwa naringa kweli) kwao kuko hivi- Iliniuma nilipogundua na ndio ukawa mwisho wa mahusiano ila the same thing imempata rafiki yangu wa karibu sana. Yeye ameolewa na aliwahi kumwambia mumewe the most damaging siri ya familia yao ambayo ikijulikana ni wazi familia itasambaratika sasa kila akimkosea (which he do all the times) akifikiria kushtaki kwa wazee shemeji anamwambia kuwa atasema kila kitu including that siri yaani huwa anammaliza nguvu dada. Na ni kweli shosti anasema kuna siku walikubaliana kabisa kuwa wanaitisha kikao basi shemeji akaandika kabisa agenda -including ile siri- yaani ilibidi dada agive up. Tatizo shemeji ni mkorofi sana yaani nyumbani kwao hakuna amani kila siku ugomvi. Hadi anajilaumu kwa nini alimwambia. Sasa kila nikikutana naye analalamika hadi nahisi kama mimi sitakuja olewa kama maisha ya ndoa yako hivi.

    Mimi kinachonishangaza hapo ni kuwa sioni kama shost alikosea kwa sababu naamini kuwa kati ya wapenzi wawili hakuna siri.
     
  7. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 27, 2009
    Joined: Jan 22, 2009
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    kuna uzuri na ubaya wake, huyu wangu ananisaidiaga sana kwenye matatizo ya kifamili kwa namna moja au nyingine, so kwake nipo free kumwambia lolote juu ya familia, hapo ndipo anaponifanya nazidi kumpenda, kwa frnd wangu anajuta na ndicho kinamnyima raha mpaka leo, mume alimkuta baba mkwe magendo na wakati huo alishasikia fununu, basi frnd ikabidi amwambie ukweli tu, so mume hata acporudi home akiulizwa anajibiwa kamrekebishe kwanza babako ndio uje unirekebishe na mimi, kwake ni majuto.....
     
  8. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #8
    Mar 27, 2009
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    Hapo ndo ninapochoka nyamayao........ how far should we au tuangalie kwanza na mtu mwenyewe?
     
  9. Timtim

    Timtim JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 27, 2009
    Joined: Feb 9, 2008
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    Nadhani ni vizuri mukaongea in deep mambo ya kifamilia yenu. Wakati ule wa kuoana kunakuwa na sherehe na furaha tele. Mapicha yanapigwa na video munachukuliwa. Picha nyingi za kumbukumbu hupatikana wakati huo na pia nyie muliooana kuweza kujuwa family members za pande zote mbili. Sasa baada ya honey moon yenu munapokuwa nyumbani na kurudia kutazama album zenu pamoja na video, huo ni wakati muafaka kuwekana sawa na kuelezana matatizo ya kifamilia kila upande wa familia zenu na pia kutahadharishana kwa lolote lile juu ya familia. Munaelezana kuwa nyie maharusi ndio munaanza kujenga familia yenu so ya nyuma yawe kando na mutazame jinsi ya kuboresha maisha mapya na familia mpya ya kwenu wenyewe.

    Nadhani hata kama ulikuwa na wapenzi hapo nyuma mukawekana sawa bila kuwataja majina ili baadae yasilete balaa maana katika life kuna mengi furaha na kukasirikiana so baadaye yasichanganywe 1+1 ikawa 5. Kila mmoja anamsamehe mwenzake na kukubali kuishi maisha mapya ya mapenzi na wanandoa.

    Hapo mutaishi vizuri. Hayo ni maoni yangu mimi wakuu.
     
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