Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

How do you rate yourself on the love scale?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Shishi, Jan 12, 2009.

  1. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 12, 2009
    Joined: Feb 11, 2008
    Messages: 1,245
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 135
    LET'S TALK SEX: How do you rate yourself on the love scale?


    Today I have a tough question for you; how do you rate yourself as a lover on a scale of 1 to 10?

    Do I hear someone confidently say 9? Yeah right! Well, maybe… The indicators are your spouse's enjoyment, your ability to up your game, spontaneity, and submission vis-à-vis love.

    I can imagine many expected the indicators' list to read like: penile size, longevity (how long you last during sex), beauty, and so on. Sorry to disappoint you. Those are indicators to fan your own ego and make you overrate yourself with disastrous results sometimes.
    For example, a man who thinks he is the most endowed this side of the equator may take that as an indicator that he is also the best thing that ever walked into his wife's life, when actually she finds him a selfish, inconsiderate and hurtful lover.

    A woman with looks that could inspire a fairytale book may think she is the best lover her husband could ever land; even if she just lies there hoping her pretty face is single-handedly draining all the blood from his head.

    Those indicators are good for your self esteem and if used properly, yes, they can translate into you being a very good lover.
    But in many cases, they actually get to their owners' heads and do more harm than good in the bedroom. The real indicators should be the ones listed before that.
    Ask yourself, how often does your spouse look satisfied with your duties and glows from all the ministrations from you? Some even say a heartfelt word of gratitude afterwards, if they have enjoyed it.

    How many times have you thought about the sex in your marriage with the sole intention of improving yourself and making it better for your spouse? Many people are stuck in rigid perceptions of themselves. They want things done a certain way, whether it is boring or not, and as a result, they bore their spouses to death. So there is another indicator: how flexible are you when it comes to upping your game when it comes to making love to your spouse?
    Also ask yourself, how many times this past year has the sex in your marriage been a result of pure spontaneity and not premeditated duty or chore?

    And lastly, how much do love and submission - in their right places - feature in your marriage and sex life?
    If you answer those questions truthfully, then you will be able to circle the right number on the scale of 1 to 10, as regards your capabilities as a lover.
    If your score is still low, set out to do things differently.
    I am reading the book Excellence in Ministry by Robb Thompson and a line in there caught my eye: "Today's excellence is tomorrow's mediocrity." And how much that applies to marriage and sex!

    You can pull off something amazing today and leave your spouse gasping with awe. But don't think you will keep repeating that day in, day out and get the same results. When you pulled it off the other day, it was breathtaking but when you think you will get the same results everyday, then you are joking. How do you think routine and monotony happen? Out of good things, of course.

    I see it at my place of work; every time we change a caterer for our lunch, the comments from the staff are amazing. One time someone even joked: "If you ever sack this caterer, I will resign!" A few weeks later, that very staff member was opting to have his lunch elsewhere. At a fee.

    Similarly, don't dwell on a good thing too long and turn it into something predictable and thereby disgusting. Learn to tap into the creative juices when it comes to the sex in your marriage. A lot of us take that department for granted and watch it curl up and die.
    Look at how advertising agencies are constantly thinking up new ways of advertising the same product to win more customers for it… What is wrong with you appointing yourself the account manager of this product called your marriage and all the sex in it?

    Think of new ways to keep it exciting. Find exciting ideas that will package and market you to your customer (read spouse) in sexy ways.
    When a businessman (read husband) starts taking his established customers (read wife) for granted and never offers incentives or improved products, the customer will shift to where waters are more exciting.

    Learn to constantly improve yourself as a lover through communication, focus and opening up to new ideas. It is one way you will stay married longer without someone holding a gun to your head.
     
  2. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 12, 2009
    Joined: Jun 12, 2008
    Messages: 1,333
    Likes Received: 10
    Trophy Points: 0
    My love is a Rock of Gibralter...heavy, swooning from high-density. If you're an Atlas who knows how to control it, you will SHAKE THE EARTH! (If you don't, you'll sink.)
     
  3. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 12, 2009
    Joined: Dec 19, 2008
    Messages: 3,587
    Likes Received: 11
    Trophy Points: 135
    Shishi I am impresed in this and its real good and challenge, some of us are taking things easy and for granted. Thank you so much for your adivice.

    I agree with you many marriages are not communicating effectively, they just take things easy since there is what we call nyumba ndogo, you fail to do something they rush straight to nyumba ndogo where demanding is high.
     
  4. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 12, 2009
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
    Messages: 12,703
    Likes Received: 92
    Trophy Points: 145
    9/10

    9/10

    9/10

    2/10

    1/10

    ...:( my score is 3/10 ....msaada jamani!!!
     
  5. Penny

    Penny JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 12, 2009
    Joined: Sep 3, 2008
    Messages: 576
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 0
    ... the same but lesser 2/10... help! help!!!!!!
     
  6. Exaud J. Makyao

    Exaud J. Makyao JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 12, 2009
    Joined: Nov 30, 2008
    Messages: 1,523
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 0
    SHISHI,
    What do you refers to as Love?
     
  7. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 13, 2009
    Joined: Feb 11, 2008
    Messages: 1,245
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 135
     
  8. ChaMtuMavi

    ChaMtuMavi JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 13, 2009
    Joined: Oct 15, 2008
    Messages: 332
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    nimepata 10/10,

    Kimbilieni huko jamani
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 13, 2009
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
    Messages: 12,703
    Likes Received: 92
    Trophy Points: 145
    ...pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! te he he heee...aisee utanifanyisha mamsap aninunie leo,...huh! the best Avatar by far! :D
     
  10. IronBroom

    IronBroom JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 2, 2009
    Joined: Jun 12, 2008
    Messages: 524
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 35

    Mzee hata kama umeandika neno moja...achana na mistari miwili....nitalisoma na kulisoma tena na tena....ajabu ni kwamba ukiniuliza nimesoma nini,the probability is 0.9 I may not remember............KISA?....the avataz......sooo goood!
     
Loading...