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How Do You Know If You Married The Right Person

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Nyikanavome, Nov 24, 2010.

  1. Nyikanavome

    Nyikanavome JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 24, 2010
    Joined: Mar 3, 2008
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    Nimepata haka ka article kwenye mtandao na nadhani katatufaa wengi humu!
    Soma, Tafakari na kama imekukuna, Chukua hatua

    How Do You Know If You Married The Right Person

    During one of my seminars, a woman asked me a question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

    I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

    In all seriousness, how do you know if you married the right person?

    Here's the answer.

    EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

    Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...because it's happening TO YOU.

    People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

    Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

    The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

    At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

    Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

    I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

    Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to save a marriage.

    Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable-you can "make" love.

    This article was written by Mort Fertel, Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness
     
  2. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 24, 2010
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    too long bana weee!
    agrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
     
  3. hashycool

    hashycool JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 24, 2010
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    "A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes
    together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their
    differences."
     
  4. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 24, 2010
    Joined: May 10, 2010
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    usengwile bambo!!!!!!
    :teeth:
     
  5. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 24, 2010
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    hivi inanisaidia nini kujua/kutojua kwamba i am married to a right person?
     
  6. M

    Malunde JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 24, 2010
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    Good article. If you are able, please post the laws of relationship as per the last paragraph of article.

    Cheers!
     
  7. Kimey

    Kimey JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 24, 2010
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    homeboy achana na hizi ishu za majournal na vitabu .....the real thing ipo kwenye practices...
     
  8. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 24, 2010
    Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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    I'm happily married to the right beautiful lady for 15 years now - And nothing is going to change that - until death do us apart

    BTW: JK ameshantangaza Baraza la Mawaziri? Maana mgao wa umeme unatutesa sana wakazi wa Temeke. Kha!
     
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