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Hotuba ya mwalimu mkuu asubuhi

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mabagala, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. Mabagala

    Mabagala JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: Nov 27, 2009
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    “Good Morning school, first you should know this is an assembly!! Those boys who are mammaring and malinger lingering at the back should Shut up!!.I would like to bring to your attention that Mrs Kamongoro will no longer be with us, she has been transferred to Nyakemincha Primary school to be their new PE teacher. Mr Kemunto will replace Mrs Ogbuefi on duty this week who has been preganant and has gone to give birth, I expect toto cooperation from all of you.
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    This school gives zero torelant to indiscipline students. I don’t care whether you are the son of Jezembel, Judas or satan you will have to be displined otherwise you will know why a chicken drinks water and does not urinate.!!Those among you found to be indisplined will be sent away home to bring their parents especially their mother and father. I have noticed that some of you come to school very late!! I give you a warning even if your home is as far as Kadahal or Kuwait, if you think your home is far sleep at school or start coming to school after supper so that early in the morning you are here.To the boys I have noticed that come to school very shaggy shaggy!! Having nyoad some funny funny style looking like mbox!! We will remove those head and burn the mbox!!..Others in the morning preps instead of studying all they do is discuss about food and lie about idiotic programs they watched on TV while we are sure few of you own even a radio in their homes.(student laughing)
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    Teachers have been complaining that when they are in class they hear some funny funny smell from you like a mixture of cowdung and pig dung!! Some of you the last time you had a bathed you cant even remember!! We will get you and wash you outside infront of every one!!..Mrs Kigukemi complained that the boys who sit at the back in class 4East have been destroying the air in class now and then during lessons, I don’t know if its eating Maharangwe!! Or Maovacador!! They shud stop or they will be chtadying in the toilet..Before I forget I would like Rutino of Class 7 North and Kang’ara, Mang’ondu and Onduso to see me in My office after this assembly, a teacher saw them urinating behind the staffroom on the wall.
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    Those student passing across the staffroom when teachers are eating should stop mara moja!! Those boys who play banta in the school compaud during break time should stop..they have dug many holes on the school compound and our school is now full of mashimo mashimo here and there yaani hapa kule hapa kule. Those of you who come with burnt maize and eggs should stop!!! Not forgetting some chtudent during the weekend went to my shamba and stole casava and sugar cane let me not get you.!!The councelling teacher complained that another teacher complained that some boys and girls have been seen going to the bush after school!!! We will not torelate that infact we will burn the bush when you are there!! Dating is not allowed by the school, you came here to study not to get a wife of to get a married.!!
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    Tommorrow is school cleaning day so remember to come with jembes, machetes, and mapangas, before I forget I am to announce that the chief called in the morning and said the father of Mang’ondu should report to his office tomorrow. All noice makers will found this week will wash the toilets and the D.O is bringing an antiminyoo campaign to this school this weekend all of you are expected to have 3dose of the antiminyoo drugs and others will even take home to their parents. With those few but many remarks assembly dismissed”.
     
  2. Typhoid

    Typhoid JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: Feb 7, 2012
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    Ur more than a creative genius!
     
  3. Da Womanizer

    Da Womanizer JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: May 24, 2010
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    Kudadadeeeeeeeeeeeki
     
  4. Erickb52

    Erickb52 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: Oct 31, 2010
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    karibu sana JF
     
  5. Vodka

    Vodka JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: Jan 5, 2012
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    Ha ha ha dah kuwa mkuu primary lzma uchanganyikiwe.
     
  6. Angel Nylon

    Angel Nylon JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: Jul 26, 2011
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    baada ya hio speech, ni kwamba waende zao tu saa za kuondoka shule imefika
     
  7. Zuia Sayayi

    Zuia Sayayi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 20, 2012
    Joined: Mar 28, 2011
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    Yote hayo ulimckiliza ?
     
  8. E

    Elizabeth Dominic Platinum Member

    #8
    Feb 21, 2012
    Joined: Dec 7, 2007
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    Vere fane, reminds me of a school iliyokuwa na policy ya english only lakini wanafunzi wake waswahili kweli.
    Kwa tone kiswahili wanasema "Yuu badi behavya am gonna teli tichaa"
     
  9. Eversmilin Gal

    Eversmilin Gal JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 21, 2012
    Joined: Feb 5, 2012
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    umenikumbusha mbal jaman
     
  10. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #10
    Feb 21, 2012
    Joined: Aug 31, 2009
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    very funny!
     
  11. Ziltan

    Ziltan JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 21, 2012
    Joined: Aug 20, 2011
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    Mbona ticha mzima huyo,
    ngoja nimalizie kuanda ya ticha wangu mmoja hapa,utashanga
     
  12. Mabagala

    Mabagala JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 21, 2012
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    Eva umekumbuka wapi na mwaka gani jamani?
     
  13. Kabakabana

    Kabakabana JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 21, 2012
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    Ticha kachizi huyo,
     
  14. AMINATA 9

    AMINATA 9 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 21, 2012
    Joined: Aug 6, 2011
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    hahaaaaaaaaaaaa u made ma day
     
  15. e

    egbert44 JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 22, 2012
    Joined: Mar 17, 2006
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    kuku ana nyeti moja tu na ndio maana hanywi maji mengi anaogopa yatatoka kama bata! hahahahahahahahahahahaha
     
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