1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence). 2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind. 3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. 4. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen. 5.Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead. 6.There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced! 7. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 8. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a year married man looks happy, we wonder why. 9. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. 10. Eighty percent of married men cheats in America, the rest cheat in other countries. 11. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other,but still they stay together. 12. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 13.WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND : OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. 14.At a cocktail party, one woman said to another. AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED TO THE WRONG MAN. 15. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished. 16.It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job he still ends up with the same boss. 17.When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is...LOL! Good luck.