Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Home Internal Memo: Economic Situations and Ground Rules

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by NewDawnTz, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Nov 15, 2010
    Messages: 1,675
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0

    :biggrin1:

    HOME INTERNAL MEMO

    :typing:
    FROM: FATHER
    TO: ALL DE PENDANTS AND RELATIVES
    CC: MOTHER
    DATE: TODAY

    ECONOMIC SITUATION AND GROUND RULES
    Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

    1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.

    2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

    3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified dietician's report.

    4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall permitted.

    5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

    6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.

    7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

    8. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the house.

    9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the house, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

    10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.

    THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!


    Signed: DAD

    Chairman of Home Affairs
     
  2. WISDOM SEEDS

    WISDOM SEEDS JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 1, 2011
    Messages: 780
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Duh, this is very interesting! I like it
     
  3. Wisdom

    Wisdom JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Sep 28, 2010
    Messages: 473
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Me nimeipenda sana
     
  4. amba.nkya

    amba.nkya JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jan 7, 2010
    Messages: 402
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 35
    Imekaa vizur, lakini kwa wabongo na dependants itawezekana kweli? Mhhh....Sijui!
     
  5. WISDOM SEEDS

    WISDOM SEEDS JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Jun 1, 2011
    Messages: 780
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Halafu dependants wenyewe wawe ni wazazi ama wakwe, si unajua tena
    tunaongoza kwa extended families...
     
  6. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Nov 15, 2010
    Messages: 1,675
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0
    Utakuta mjomba ake shangazi yake wifi yake dada ake na yule mtoto wa baba mdogo wa shangazi na wengine kibao wamejazana....Duh...
     
  7. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Mar 18, 2011
    Messages: 16,559
    Likes Received: 254
    Trophy Points: 180
    Iko poa sana,lakini mtaani kwetu huku si itakuwa balaa.
     
  8. M'bongo

    M'bongo Senior Member

    #8
    Jul 13, 2011
    Joined: Apr 20, 2011
    Messages: 111
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    Hahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
     
Loading...