Hivi kwa nini siku hizi nyumba nyingi kina mama ndio wenye sauti kuzidi kina baba?

[muhanga]

Heri lawama kuliko fedhea...demokrasia na ndoa wapi na wapi jamani?hizo elimu zenu hukohuko madarasani na maofisini siyo kwenye himaya yangu ktk ndoa takatifu..UPUUUUZI MKUBWA

this is what other people call inferiority complex! mwanamke, ndoa, demokrasia, elimu, ofisi na himaya ya mwanaume! inahusu??? ukitaka wa kumkalia kichwani katafute wale wasugua miguu saa 2 tu kajikwatua anaota jua chini ya mwembe akisubiri jioni kumpokea mume kifurushi ....!

 

[Mshume Kiyate]

sishangai sana maana mtoa mada ni chatu dume! halafu mchangiaji wewe ni mkimbizwa mbio (bila shaka wakimbizwa na mkeo unaojitia kumdharau hapa) tena akikujua umelala nje!! hivi kumbe mke kuwa na sauti ndani ya nyumba ni 'crime'?? sikujua kama hilo linaweza kuwekewa mkakati na wanaume eti kabla hali haijawa 'mbaya zaidi'. vitabu vya dini enzi hizoooo vilikuwa vinamzungumzia 'mwanamume' aliekuwa anajua vema majukumu ya kuwa mume ndani ya nyumba. ck hz wanaume wengi wamepoteza hizo 'sauti' kwa sababu wanawake walio wengi ndio wanaotunza familia, sasa cjui kama mume ni suruali au majukumu. na kama ni suruali basi hata sie wanawake tunavaa!! sauti mnayoilalamikia hapa ni 'nguvu ya uchumi' kama huna kitu mfukoni unategemea umpazie nani sauti wakati pesa ni zake! nani atakubali akatafute pesa halafu wewe mume uje uzipigie kelele??? jijenge kiuchumi utaheshimika na kila mtu tena hata wanaume wenzako. usitake yale mambo ya enzi za mawe eti tu kwa kuwa you carry those suspicious bags between 2 legs and rifle without even bullets basi uwe na kibezi... that was looooong looooooong time ago!!!

Muhanga,
mbona unaongea kwa ukali mpaka hivyo mpaka tunaogopa...lol..

 

[muhanga]

Muhanga,
mbona unaongea kwa ukali mpaka hivyo mpaka tunaogopa...lol..

my dear huwezi kujua tu ninavyokereka na tabia ya kudharau wanawake wakati tunashikilia uchumi kwa kiasi kikubwa nowdays, itabidi wanaume wakubali mabadiliko kiroho safi tu wala msiwe na kigugumizi jamani, mbona kwa miaka mingi mmekuwa na 'sauti' kuuuubwa kwenye nyumba zenu tulikuwa hatusemi????

 

[Mshume Kiyate]

my dear huwezi kujua tu ninavyokereka na tabia ya kudharau wanawake wakati tunashikilia uchumi kwa kiasi kikubwa nowdays, itabidi wanaume wakubali mabadiliko kiroho safi tu wala msiwe na kigugumizi jamani, mbona kwa miaka mingi mmekuwa na 'sauti' kuuuubwa kwenye nyumba zenu tulikuwa hatusemi????

Muhanga,
Kwa hiyo mnatulipiza sio? Lakini mkumbuke hata vitabu vya dini vinasema mwanaume ndio kichwa cha familia..

Wewe binafsi nyumbani nani mwenye sauti?

 

[Dr Lizzy]

Mkuu, kuna mambo ya mwanamke kufanya nyumbani kama vile kupamba nyumba, fenicha na mambo mengine..

Lakini ukitaka kununua nyumba au kusaidia ndugu zangu, kuwalipia hada shule au kusaidia jamaa yangu mpaka wife akubali..

Mama anaumwa kutoa pesa mpaka wife akubali...lol..

Hiyo ina maana kwamba kuna kushauriana!!
We unataka mwanaume ajiamulie tu mwenyewe kwani yuko mwenyewe???Mke wake hahusiki na hicho kitakachotolewa??Mke wake hana mchango kwenye maendeleo yao binafsi na ya ndugu zao???
Jaribu kutochanganya ''SAUTI ndani ya nyumba'' na USHIRIKIANO ndani ya nyumba.

Kuhusu swala la watoto kupeleka matatizo yao kwa mama hii inatokana na ukaribu wao na mama yao bila kusahau namna anavyopokea matatizo yao. Huwezi kutegemea baba asiye na mazoea ya kukaa chini na watoto wake every one and then awe ndio kimbilio lao pale wanapokua na matatizo na wanahitaji mtu wa kuzungumza nao.

 

[Bajabiri]

Sijaoa
ila ntafuata maandiko,

 

[Dr Matola PhD]

hazitothujaelewa mada

mwanamke sawa na waziri mkuu
yeye ndie mtendaji..
wewe mwanaume ni sawa na mfalme
sio lazima uwe bize na kila kitu
acha waziri mkuu afanye kazi yake

Mkuu hujaelewa mada, alichokiksema mtoa mada ni kwamba wanawake wanazidi kuwatawala wanaume kila uchao na huo ni ukweli mtupu, wanaume tuache huu uzezeta kuna mfumo jike unasimikwa kimya kimya kwa kiya ya kuwawezesha wanawake na hii ndio sababu ya ndoa za sasa hazitodumu kamwe.
Open ur eyes.

 

[muhanga]

Muhanga,
Kwa hiyo mnatulipiza sio? Lakini mkumbuke hata vitabu vya dini vinasema mwanaume ndio kichwa cha familia..

Wewe binafsi nyumbani nani mwenye sauti?

chatu hakuna kulipizana hapa. my point is ule mfumo dume wa kizamani lazima muuache, mnang'ang'ania tu vitabu vya dini vinasema, chatu hivi ni maagizo mangapi tumepewa kwenye vitabu vya dini tumeyaacha tushikilie hilo tu la kuwa kichwa cha nyumba??? na kuwa na maamuzi bila kumshirikisha mke huko ndio kuwa kichwa cha family? hv kichwa kama kichwa kinatembea pekeyake bila coordination na viungo vingine?? Lizzy kasema msichanganye sauti na ushirikiano!
mimi nyumbani kwangu sot tuna sauti it depends mtu anapaza sauti juu ya jambo lipi, na kwangu kila tunachofanya tunafanya kwa kushirikisha kuanzia idea hadi utekelezaji na inakuwa rahisi kwa kila mmoja kushiriki kikamilifu kwa kuwa kila hatua amehusishwa. wanaume zamani walikuwa hawawashirikiashi wake zao ili wasiwe na sauti haya ya kumiliki mali kwenye family,na ndio maana mume alikuwa akimchoka mke anamfukuza na nguo zake tu, leo hii thubutuu mke kachangia hadi mahari yake mwenyewe utamwambia nini!!!?? skwambii maendeleo ya nyumba kila kitu kwa kushiriiana mawazo hadi financially

 

[Mshume Kiyate]

Hiyo ina maana kwamba kuna kushauriana!!
We unataka mwanaume ajiamulie tu mwenyewe kwani yuko mwenyewe???Mke wake hahusiki na hicho kitakachotolewa??Mke wake hana mchango kwenye maendeleo yao binafsi na ya ndugu zao???
Jaribu kutochanganya ''SAUTI ndani ya nyumba'' na USHIRIKIANO ndani ya nyumba.

Kuhusu swala la watoto kupeleka matatizo yao kwa mama hii inatokana na ukaribu wao na mama yao bila kusahau namna anavyopokea matatizo yao. Huwezi kutegemea baba asiye na mazoea ya kukaa chini na watoto wake every one and then awe ndio kimbilio lao pale wanapokua na matatizo na wanahitaji mtu wa kuzungumza nao.

Lizzy,
Sio USHIRIKIANO mwanamke ndiyo mwenye maamuzi ya mwisho, unaweza kutaka kumsaidia mdogo wako kiasi cha pesa kama mtaji hafanye biashara mke wako akakataa tu na wewe unakaa kimya, unamjibu mdogo wako hali sio nzuri..mtoto wa dada yako kakwama hada ya shule unatoa kwa kuficha unaogopa wife wako asijue..

Lakini yeye hakiwasaidia ndugu zake na jamaa zake anafanya bila kukushilikisha kama mume wake, haya ndiyo nayopingana nayo..

Nyumba nyingi hata kama mtashilikiana kwenye baadhi ya mambo mara nyingi mawazo ya mwanamke ndiyo yanapita

 

[Dr Lizzy]

Lizzy,
Sio USHIRIKIANO mwanamke ndiyo mwenye maamuzi ya mwisho, unaweza kutaka kumsaidia mdogo wako kiasi cha pesa kama mtaji hafanye biashara mke wako akakataa tu na wewe unakaa kimya, unamjibu mdogo wako hali sio nzuri..mtoto wa dada yako kakwama hada ya shule unatoa kwa kuficha unaogopa wife wako asijue..

Lakini yeye hakiwasaidia ndugu zake na jamaa zake anafanya bila kukushilikisha kama mume wake, haya ndiyo nayopingana nayo..

Nyumba nyingi hata kama mtashilikiana kwenye baadhi ya mambo mara nyingi mawazo ya mwanamke ndiyo yanapita

Mtazamo wako juu ya wanawake umekaa kihasi hasi sana ndio maana unaona hivyo uonavyo hata wakati ambao uonavyo sivyo.

Swala la mke kukataa usifanye kitu linakuja na sababu. Mke na mume wana majukumu yao kwahiyo siwezi kushangaa mke au hata mume akishauri msaada kwa ndugu uwe limited ili mambo yao yaendelee.I mean unless hao wanawake unaowaongelea wanafanya hivyo out of uchoyo wewe ndio mwenye matatizo. Na kama mwanaume anajua/ona kwamba wanaweza kuafford kusaidia ndugu kwanini afanye kisiri?Amjulishe mke wake kwamba pamoja na kwamba wewe hutaki kitu hichi kifanyike mimi nashauri kifanyike na ntakifanya kwasababu sisi hakitupunguzii chochote. Kinachohitajika ni maelewano kwa pande zote mbili...anaekataa aeleweke wanini hataki na anataka aeleweke ni kwa namna gani anachotaka hakitapunguza chochote ndani ya familia yake.

 

[kisukari]

kama haujaoa,ukishakuoa ndio utajua jibu.katika ndoa kila mtu ana sheria zake,maybe kwako wewe utaoa ajabu,lakini kwa wanandoa kwao ni sawa tu

 

[bibi.com]

Muhanga,
Kwa hiyo mnatulipiza sio? Lakini mkumbuke hata vitabu vya dini vinasema mwanaume ndio kichwa cha familia..

Wewe binafsi nyumbani nani mwenye sauti?

hivyo vitabu vya dini naona hamjavielewa vinazungumzia mwanaume na si mwanaume jina. provide for ur family then uone kama hutaheshimika we unashinda baa majukumu unamwachia mwanamke what do u except? halafu unakimbilia vitabu vya dini visome vizuri uelewe sio unakurupuka tu.

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Is there anything to add? (Am just thinking loud).

sishangai sana maana mtoa mada ni chatu dume! halafu mchangiaji wewe ni mkimbizwa mbio (bila shaka wakimbizwa na mkeo unaojitia kumdharau hapa) tena akikujua umelala nje!! hivi kumbe mke kuwa na sauti ndani ya nyumba ni 'crime'?? sikujua kama hilo linaweza kuwekewa mkakati na wanaume eti kabla hali haijawa 'mbaya zaidi'. vitabu vya dini enzi hizoooo vilikuwa vinamzungumzia 'mwanamume' aliekuwa anajua vema majukumu ya kuwa mume ndani ya nyumba. ck hz wanaume wengi wamepoteza hizo 'sauti' kwa sababu wanawake walio wengi ndio wanaotunza familia, sasa cjui kama mume ni suruali au majukumu. na kama ni suruali basi hata sie wanawake tunavaa!! sauti mnayoilalamikia hapa ni 'nguvu ya uchumi' kama huna kitu mfukoni unategemea umpazie nani sauti wakati pesa ni zake! nani atakubali akatafute pesa halafu wewe mume uje uzipigie kelele??? jijenge kiuchumi utaheshimika na kila mtu tena hata wanaume wenzako. usitake yale mambo ya enzi za mawe eti tu kwa kuwa you carry those suspicious bags between 2 legs and rifle without even bullets basi uwe na kibezi... that was looooong looooooong time ago!!!

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Haloo sijuhi kama wana la kujitetea baada ya haya madongo. lol.

hivyo vitabu vya dini naona hamjavielewa vinazungumzia mwanaume na si mwanaume jina. provide for ur family then uone kama hutaheshimika we unashinda baa majukumu unamwachia mwanamke what do u except? halafu unakimbilia vitabu vya dini visome vizuri uelewe sio unakurupuka tu.

 

[nyumba kubwa]

To my experience familia nyingi zenye furaha na maelewano ni zile ambazo mwanamke ana character unazo describe. Mwanamke lazima utakuwa na sauti kama kweli umemkoreza hubby wako kwa ma love dave. Kinachofuata kama nani asaidiwe nani asisaidiwe sasa ni huruma ya the wife; si wote wana misuse hiyo power; tupo tunaosikilizwa kwa kila ktu na bado ndugu za mume hawalalamiki kuwa wanakosa matunzo. Ni kujua tu how to make use of this power.

Lizzy,
Sio USHIRIKIANO mwanamke ndiyo mwenye maamuzi ya mwisho, unaweza kutaka kumsaidia mdogo wako kiasi cha pesa kama mtaji hafanye biashara mke wako akakataa tu na wewe unakaa kimya, unamjibu mdogo wako hali sio nzuri..mtoto wa dada yako kakwama hada ya shule unatoa kwa kuficha unaogopa wife wako asijue..

Lakini yeye hakiwasaidia ndugu zake na jamaa zake anafanya bila kukushilikisha kama mume wake, haya ndiyo nayopingana nayo..

Nyumba nyingi hata kama mtashilikiana kwenye baadhi ya mambo mara nyingi mawazo ya mwanamke ndiyo yanapita

 

[JF2050]

Wana JF...
Nimejaribu kufanya tafiti kidogo kwenye jambo hili kupitia kwa jamaa zangu wa karibu..

Katika tafiti zangu sehemu kubwa za nyumba zetu nimeona kina mama ndio wenye sauti kubwa ndani ya nyumba ya kimaamuzi..

Wanaume wengi tumekua hatuna sauti ndani ya nyumba zetu.

Hata vitu vidogo kuamua utamkuta mwanaume anasema mpaka wife aje ndio takuambia..

Hata watoto siku hizi matatizo yao wanawambia mama zao, huku wakiwacha baba zao..

Hivi kwa nini imekuwa hivyo kina mama ndio wanakuwa na sauti kuzidi kina baba..

Tujadili wakuu tupate kujua..

This can be of great help to an ongoing discussion.


Marriage

Marriage without stress is a possibility, divorce can be avoided.

When the lord turned again the captivity of His people they became like them that dreamed, Psalms 126 vs 1.

Your trial is turned to triumph. Do not bother about how it is going to happen just believe it and the zeal of the lord shall perform it. Be blessed as you read ahead. It is my prayer that the encounter you shall have today would lift you up and you shall continually go up.

WE ARE LOOKING AT THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE

Everybody knows what marriage is but not everybody knows what marriage should be or intended to be by God.

Marriage is an institution. An institution ordained by God. It is an institution where everyone is a student while God is the vice chancellor. Lack of preparation will always end up in frustration. The reason many marriages is under frustration is because they lack adequate preparation. Some people think that the only preparation you need for marriage is the money preparation. It is not true. They do not see marriage as an institution so they end up in frustration. God was the one who said;

Therefore shall a man leave His mother and father and cleave to His wife; and they shall be one flesh, Genesis 2 vs.24, Matthew 19 vs.5, Mark 10 vs.7. Three different scriptures saying almost the same thing. This further hammers on the importance of marriage.

Marriage is not mans design. Without God you will wear it any how. I will show you in the course of this teaching the reason for marriage and the steps to marriage with the reason for divorce.

REASONS FOR MARRIAGE

It is a common saying that without knowing the purpose of a thing abuse is inevitable.
Everything has a reason, you would not fully understand the function of a thing until you read the manual. The manual for life is the Bible. And in it God spoke expressly about marriage.

1. The first reason for marriage is that it is the foundation for the family; and everyone belongs to a family. The first school any one will find himself is the family school at any level. The family is not possible without marriage, so God instituted marriage. No wonder He said in Matthew 19 vs. 4- 5. He made them male and female…for this cause shall a man leave … and cleave…. Multiplication and fruitfulness is not possible without marriage. So God used marriage as a seed for the harvest of a fruitful family. Every lasting change must start from the family or else it will become vain. The WORLD WILL KEEP ON TRYING UNTIL THEY REALIZE THAT EVERY LASTING CHANGE MUST START FROM THE HOME AND NOT THE GOVERNMENT. Proverbs 22 vs. 6 says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. If every child was trained the Gods way, the way he ought to go according to Gods word, then there will be no armed robbers, assassins, terrorists, rapists, kidnappers, drug addicts, corrupt leaders. Everything bad can be avoided from the home. Every one you see today came from a home. I believe that change is coming to your nation.

2. The second reason for marriage is that it is not good for a man to be alone. Genesis 2 vs. 18; at a stage in a mans life it is dangerous to be alone, why? Because a help meet is needed. God took a rib from the first Adam and created Eve, the first woman. Woman was taken out of man. So a rib was missing in man. That place becomes empty until he gets His wife. Then they become one. So every man needs His wife. The scripture said, for this cause shall a man leave and cleave to His wife. Meaning there is an Eve for every Adam and an Adam for every Eve. There is a woman for you and there is a man for you. I will explain on this later as we proceed.

3. The third reason for marriage is that for you to truly dominate you need a wife; one shall chase a thousand and two shall put ten thousand to flight. For you to be truly influential you need a help meet.

4. The fourth reason is that two will always be better than one. Look at what Ecclesiastes 4 vs. 9 says, two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. If they fall the one will lift up the other.

As you can see SEX is not a reason for marriage. Don’t get me wrong sex is important, it is but it is not the reason. It is the fuel for marriage because it renews the oneness God destined for the husband and wife. Sex is spiritual. It is just 10% of marriage. People that get married because of sex will become bored in a short time. In marriage COMMUNICATION, COMPATIBILITY, UNDERSTANDING, LOVE AND TRUST are even more important than sex. Sex is good but don’t just have only sex, communicate and try to understand. This brings me to the next phase of this message and it is subtitled;

THE STEPS TO MARRIAGE

1. FRIENDSHIP; God has prepared a partner for you and in most cases what He does is to organize connections for you to meet that person. The first step to take is to be friends. Most people miss this stage and start asking out on a date. Leave dating out of it first, just start showing care and kindness as a friend. Listen, do not rush things, let it grow. There are so many pre-mature marriages. Friendship is for care, kindness and concern. Then it would grow to the relationship stage.

2. RELATIONSHIP; this is a little deeper than the first because commitment starts. You now start dating spending time together, getting to know each other better. Caution: What you do in your relationship is a seed and a pointer to what will bear fruit after marriage. So do not sow bad seeds, avoid sex. The seed most people sow is sex. Sex does not increase love rather it kills it. The love starts dying gradually and you might feel that it is growing. The Bible says; marriage is honorable with the bed undefiled. For your family to be honorable your bed must not be defiled during courtship.

3. COURTSHIP; this is a defined state where both parties have agreed to marry, so they have made their intentions known to their parents, it is a period of thorough planning, they learn to understand each other. Courtship is work. You must learn to understand your spouse. Because two of you are different, there is bound to be difficulty in understanding, that is why courtship is important. This is also a stage of prayers. Your focus should be your vision personally then that of your family.

No doubt the courtship stage is also a phase of serious temptation. This stage is filled with issues that might want to break it up. But you have to work it out. Do not give up there is a way out of every predicament. The courtship season is not a period of sex or trying to see if the girl can be pregnant. If you have indulged in sex already, then you can seek the mercy of God and stop immediately. Both of you must come to an agreement on the issue of sex.

You must believe that pre marital sex is wrong.

The reason for divorce.

Divorce is an abuse of the plan of God. It causes a broken home and leave an negative imprint in the hearts of the children. Divorce is a destiny destroyer. 98% of divorce happens because people don’t seek the will of God for their marital destinies. Marriage is God entrusting the destinies of men to the husband and wife as care takers. When there is a divorce that intention can be foiled.

Polygamy is also a plan of the devil to foil the plan of God.

Inquire from God, do not marry because of money, comfort, influence from parents or pity. Marry because it is the will of God. Divorce is a major predicament in the western world today because most of them practically rule out God out of the issue of marriage. How can you rule out the manufacturer from His product? God instituted marriage without Him marriage will not work.

I pray that the spirit of understanding should swim into your heart to comprehend that marriage is more of God than you. Your seed is precious, your sperm is important to God. Do not waste it on women. Wait till you find the woman for you then marry her first before you have sex so that your home will be glorious and honoured by God.

I speak mercy to your homes no matter the fault, the love of God covers all sins. You are free from every bondage in Jesus precious name. you can start a new lease of life from today. Knowledge is vital. Because you now know you will make it and shall fulfil your marital destinies. Your generation is blessed in Jesus name. I speak hope to your broken heart. I speak restoration to your life. You are going forward from now.

 

[Kindimbajuu]

Wana JF...
Nimejaribu kufanya tafiti kidogo kwenye jambo hili kupitia kwa jamaa zangu wa karibu..

Katika tafiti zangu sehemu kubwa za nyumba zetu nimeona kina mama ndio wenye sauti kubwa ndani ya nyumba ya kimaamuzi..

Wanaume wengi tumekua hatuna sauti ndani ya nyumba zetu.

Hata vitu vidogo kuamua utamkuta mwanaume anasema mpaka wife aje ndio takuambia..

Hata watoto siku hizi matatizo yao wanawambia mama zao, huku wakiwacha baba zao..

Hivi kwa nini imekuwa hivyo kina mama ndio wanakuwa na sauti kuzidi kina baba..

Tujadili wakuu tupate kujua..

kaka yaani umefanya utafiti, ukajihusisha na mwenyewe.huoni ulichokipata kwenye utafiti wako kimeathiriwa na hali yako mwenyewe?? maana inaonekana wewe pia huna sauti katika nyumba yako

 

[ndyoko]

mama ni moyo baba ni kichwa ktk familia so moyo una nguvu kwani ukistop tu tap mtu kafa lkn kichwa ikistop mtu hafi bali anakua tu kichaa ila anaendelea kuishi

weeeeeeeee, futa usemi wako huo! Tangu lini hii kitu imeanza duniani?

 

[Bhbm]

chatu hakuna kulipizana hapa. my point is ule mfumo dume wa kizamani lazima muuache, mnang'ang'ania tu vitabu vya dini vinasema, chatu hivi ni maagizo mangapi tumepewa kwenye vitabu vya dini tumeyaacha tushikilie hilo tu la kuwa kichwa cha nyumba??? na kuwa na maamuzi bila kumshirikisha mke huko ndio kuwa kichwa cha family? hv kichwa kama kichwa kinatembea pekeyake bila coordination na viungo vingine?? Lizzy kasema msichanganye sauti na ushirikiano!
mimi nyumbani kwangu sot tuna sauti it depends mtu anapaza sauti juu ya jambo lipi, na kwangu kila tunachofanya tunafanya kwa kushirikisha kuanzia idea hadi utekelezaji na inakuwa rahisi kwa kila mmoja kushiriki kikamilifu kwa kuwa kila hatua amehusishwa. wanaume zamani walikuwa hawawashirikiashi wake zao ili wasiwe na sauti haya ya kumiliki mali kwenye family,na ndio maana mume alikuwa akimchoka mke anamfukuza na nguo zake tu, leo hii thubutuu mke kachangia hadi mahari yake mwenyewe utamwambia nini!!!?? skwambii maendeleo ya nyumba kila kitu kwa kushiriiana mawazo hadi financially

Hapo sasa umeongea point sana.

 

[Nico1]

Mwanamke si ndo nguzo ya familia jamani!!!! au imebadilishwa!?

sawa lakini huo unguzo wake alijivika uishie huko huko kwa mashoga sio kunipanda kichwani