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Hivi kituko gani unakikumbuka ulikifanya wakati mdogo

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mshume Kiyate, Apr 9, 2011.

  1. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 9, 2011
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    Mimi nakumbuka wakati mdogo nipo darasa la nne (4) nilienda jikoni nikaiba mandazi matatu nikapanda kitandani ili nile yale mandazi huku nimejilaza kitandani usingizi ukanipitia. asubuhi Mother kuingia chumbani kayakuta mandazi yamesambaa kitandani mimi nimelala. nilichezea bakora sana...endeleza na wewe kituko chako cha utotoni
     
  2. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 9, 2011
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    Mi nakumbuka enzi zile dingi alikuwa mwalimu mkuu.Basi nilitinga ofisini,dingi sikumkuta,nilipanda kwenye ma shelve ya vitabu na kuvisambaza vyote chini kisha nikaondoka.Alipofika dingi ilikuwa msala kwani aliwaita walimu wote na kuwaweka kitimoto huku aking'aka,'nani aliyekuwa anapekua documents zangu za siri?'.Msala usingeisha kama si mwanafunzi mmoja wa darasa la saba kuja kuelezea ukweli kuhusu ujio wangu ofisini.
     
  3. Capitano

    Capitano JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 10, 2011
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    Mimi nakumbuka nilipotoka kucheza mchezo wa kibabababa na kimamamama si nikajisahau nikavaa chakatinakati(chu***) ya kabinti nilikokuwa nacheza nako! wakati naoga maza si akanishitukia, wee nilichezea bakora balaa.
     
  4. Nazjaz

    Nazjaz JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 10, 2011
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    mi nilifanya matusi kinguo nguo, niliyefanya naye akaenda kunisemea home,nilichapwa ile mbaya.
     
  5. z

    zayat JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 10, 2011
    Joined: Dec 29, 2010
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    mwalimu wa nidhamu>wewe zayati huwezi kukaa kimya?
    zayati>(mimi) mwalimu nikikaa kimya mdomo unanuka
    nilipigwa bakora assembly
     
  6. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 10, 2011
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    Hahahahaa:mimba:
     
  7. L

    Lwikunulo Senior Member

    #7
    Apr 10, 2011
    Joined: Jun 1, 2007
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    ...nikiwa darasa la pili (mwaka Ninteen Kweusi!), tulikuwa tunatakiwa kwenda shule SAA TANO mchana. Siku hiyo wanafamilia wote walikua wametoka (nilikuwa naishi kwa bibi yangu). Baada ya maandalizi mengine yote sikuweza kuona mafuta ya kupakaa (kupaka?). Ikabidi nipekue ndani ya begi la mama yangu mdogo nikakuta kichupa kidogo cha rangi ya blue/kijani hivi. Nilipofungua nikaona kun amafuta nikapakaa toka kichwani hadi miguuni.

    Punde si punde nikaanza kujisikia joto lilichnaganyika na msisimko wa mwili pamoja na harufu nzito. Kwa kuwa nilikuwa nimeshachelewa shule nikatoka vivyo hivyo mbio kwenda shule (kama kilomita moja hivi toka nyumbani). Nilipofika nilikuwa nimesweat kupita kiasi na bado nikisikia joto/msisimko na harufu nisiyoijua. Nilipoingia darasani mwalimu wa somo alikuwa ameshaanza kufundisha. Alipona hali niliyokuwa nayo akanisimamisha akauliza kulikoni? Mimi nikaishia kuomba msamaha kwa kuchelewa kuingia darasani. Akanichukua kunipeleka kwenye bomba la maji la shule kuninawisha-nikaja kuelewa baada ya kumsikia akiongea na walimu wengine kumbe nilikua nimepakaa VICKS KINGO nikidhani ni mafuta ya kupaka!!!
     
  8. P

    Pokola JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 10, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2010
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    Mimi nilikuwa mtoto mwenye hila ile mbaya. Tapeli kabisa.

    Nakumbuka nilimhadaa rafiki yangu wa karibu sana nilipokuwa darasa la tatu, jamaa kaenda kumchungulia mwalimu wa kike chooni (Choo cha walimu kilikuwa kimepakana na cha wanafunzi na kutenganishwa na ukuta wenye nafasi kubwa juu). Yule mwalimu alimwona, na siku hiyo ilikuwa kiama kwa rafiki yangu yule.

    Mimi nilikimbia, siku 3 sikukanyaga shule.
     
  9. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 10, 2011
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    Hahahahaha hapo kwenye blue ndugu yangu mbavu sina:sorry:
     
  10. Manyanza

    Manyanza JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 11, 2011
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    nakumbuka nilikuwa darasa la tatu nilienda kumtembelea shangazi yangu wakati wa likizo. jioni moja alipika maandazi na akasema hakuna kula tutanywea chai asubuhi, ilipofika usiku mimi na binamu yangu tukapanga kuiba. ilipofika usiku watu wote walikuwa wameshalala, beseni la maandazi liliwekwa juu ya kabati jikoni sasa tukaanza kubebebana ili tuchukue maandazi, mimi nilichuchumaa binamu yangu akawa ananikanyaga mabegani ili apande juu avute lile beseni achukue maandazi, baada ya kuvuta lile beseni mimi huku nilikuwa nimeshachoka nikatikisika kidogo yeye akayumba na kudodosha lile beseni halafu lilikuwa la bati... basi kishindo cha beseni kilisikika nyumba nzima, shangazi akashituka akauliza mnafanya nini?
    alipoamka akatukuta tunahangaika kukusanya maandazi.. alichosema tutaonana kesho akaenda kulala...
    kilichoendelea asubuhi nyie acheni tu..........
     
  11. s

    sugi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 11, 2011
    Joined: Feb 12, 2011
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    nilikuwa nachezea dudu yangu,hapo ilikuwa na fore skin,nikachukua utomvu wa minyaa nikapaka,e bwana asikuambia mtu!dudu ilivimba ikauma vibaya mno,nilikuwa nikikojoa mkojo unakwenda zig zag,acha tu
    siku nyingine nikadokoa nyama jikoni mara sister anatokea c nikaweka mfukoni!natoka nje mara mbwa ananidandia kinoma kanusa harufu ya nyama mfukoni,dah long tym
     
  12. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 11, 2011
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    Kwanza kila aliyepigwa bakora ndiye aliyenifurahisha.
    Mm nipo ktk familia ya kiislam, na ilipokuwa inafika ramadhani watu wanafunga na inapofikia mida ya magharibi WANAFTARI (wanakula/wanafungulia).
    Siku hiyo nikaambiwa njoo UFTARI. Nikaenda, kufika nakutana na watu wanakula muhogo, nikawaambia mm sitaki muhogo nataka FTARI.... Khaaa, mimi nilikuwa najuwa FTARI ni chakula maalum kumbe ina maana ya kula. Siku hiyo hapakutosha kwa kujuwa kuwa wanalificha FTARI lao
     
  13. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 11, 2011
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    Ahahaha!! mkuu ilikuwa noma
     
  14. TheChoji

    TheChoji JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 12, 2011
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    Nilipokua mdogo nilikua nasumbuliwa sana na kifua. Sasa cku moja nikamsikia bro akisema dawa ya kifua ni pombe kali. Nakumbuka cku moja ya xmas kifua kilikua kinakwaruza, mi nikaingia room kwa dingi kulikua na chupa ya whisky nikaanza kuinywa! Muda huo ndugu zangu walikua wako huko nje wanapiga stori. Basi ili nisikamatwe nikafunga mlango wa nje kwa ndani nikaendelea kujimiminia kilaji. Si nikalewa nikaishia usingizini! Unaambiwa cku hiyo watu wote walilala nje! Gonga mlango.. Wapi! Duh..
     
  15. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 12, 2011
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    Nilikuwa napenda sana michezo ya utoto, kiasi kwamba kitendo cha kwenda kukojoa naona napoteza muda. So nikaamua, ili kupunguza muda wa kuvua chupi bora niitoboe chupi ili niwe nachuchumaa tu bila kuhangaika kuvua chupi. So nikaunguza chupi moja katikati, ilikuwa ya mpira, ikaanza kuniumiza, ikabidi nitupe chooni!

    That was when I was 4 or 5 yrs old!
     
  16. Tigga Mumba

    Tigga Mumba JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 12, 2011
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    mimi nilienda toilet nikakuta hakuna Toilet paper nikatumia majani ya magimbi! Kilichonitokea sitasahau
     
  17. Wa Nyumbani

    Wa Nyumbani JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 12, 2011
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    Mimi nikiwa darasa la sita nilipendana msichana mmoja lakini hatukuwahi kufanya chochote maana sikujua namna ya kuanza. Siku moja nikiwa na huyo msichana tulikutana na baba yangu ambaye alikuwa hataki watoto tutembee mbali na nyumbani bila sababu. Alinipiga kofi kali sana mbele ya msichana wangu, niliumia, lakini kilichoniliza ni kupigwa mbele ya yule msichana...kesho yake tulipoonana, aliponiona tu alilia sana...du machozi yananilenga...naishia hapa!
     
  18. A

    Aine JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 12, 2011
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    Yaani leo nimefurahi sana, nimecheka hadi machozi yananitoka jamani utoto una raha yake bwana asikuambie mtu, mimi sikumbuki ni darasa la ngapi, nilikuwa monitor wa darasa sasa kuna mkaka alikuwa mkubwa kuliko wote darasani, alikuwa anapiga kelele sana kwa kujivunia ukubwa wake!nikamuandika kati ya wapiga kelele wa siku hiyo, alipigwa fimbo na mwalimu. Sasa baada ya kutoka darasani, kuna kijana mwingine akawa ananichongea ili yule niliyemuandika anipige, mwenyewe akawa hana mpango wa kunipiga, sasa akazidi kunichokoza sana, alipoona yule kaka hajali, basi tukachorewa msitari atakayevuka ndo aaze kupigana yule kijana akavuka, akaanza kunipiga, nikiwa naogopa sanasana nikamshika, nikampiga vibaya sana sijui nguvu nilitoa wapi baadae nikaanza kulia mwenyewe kwa hasira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  19. mama D

    mama D JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 12, 2011
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    mimi nakumbuka nilchukuliwa na aunt yangu kwa lengo la kunisomesha maana familia yangu ilkua duni walkua matajiri sana lakini baada ya kuhamia kwake cha moto nilikiona maana nilkua house girl wa familia......... nilkua nawapikia watoto wake japo walkua wakubwa kwangu, nawafulia, nafanya usafi nyumba kubwa ya kifahari ikifika saa ya kuosha vyombo napanda juu ya kiti ili nifkie sink maana nlkua mdogo sana ikifika saa ya kula niko hoi hata kula siwezi nasinzia tuuu.....................................

    jamani sitamani kuwa mtoto hata kidogo
     
  20. wapalepale

    wapalepale JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 12, 2011
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    masikin weee ni bora ungekaa kwenu ucheze zako kombolela.. maisha ya geti wakati mwingine miyeyusho
     
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