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Hivi kipimo cha Upendo ni ndoa?!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kongosho, Jul 15, 2012.

  1. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    nimekuwa nikisikia watu wanasema, mwanamke kugawa K yake kabla ya ndoa ni upuuzi, kama mwanamme anakupenda atakuoa.

    Hapo hapo wanamme wanatukuzwa kwa kujaribu kabla ya ndoa.

    Sasa swali langu, je, kweli kipimo cha upendo kati ya wawili ni ndoa tu?
     
  2. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

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    Siamini hilo, kuna watu wapo ndani ya ndoa kwa sababu zengine kabisa. Hata kama hizo sababu zipo kumi ya upendo inakuwa haipo kwenye list au ukute ni ya mwisho kabisa, tena ya mwisho na hio ni out of guilt tu.

    Ndio maana ukiwa so naive kuwa ukiwa umeoa/olewa ni lazima kuwe na mapenzi ya dhati kati yenu hio ndoa lazima ife. Mapenzi ya dhati hayawezi dumu milele ndani ya ndoa, ila kuna ile acknowledgement kuwa huyu ni mwenza wangu na namkubali na kumheshimu. Sometimes what matters ni kuwa you where in love once na huyo mtu.. ingawa kuna wale ambao ni adimu hupendana milele hata kama ni fantasy ya mmoja wao.

    That may explain in rare cases mke ama mume wa mtu yupo so comfortable na kumpenda mtu mwengine ingawa hawezi mwacha mke ama mume wake kwa sababu zengine ambazo ni za msingi zaidi. Ukisha kuwa mtu mzima you realise unaweza penda, ila mapenzi hayaliwi wala sio yanayokufanya uishi na uwe kamili.
     
  3. phina

    phina JF-Expert Member

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    now that is a premium member for you..hadi raha hilo swali lilivokuwa 'structured'

    with so many cultures around us and the dynamics we go through..i wonder if there is an obvious yes or no answer.

    ndoa is a promise of love,respect and commitment and love couldn't get better than that-marriage. but people marry for many reasons..sometimes love is not even among them..

    so..akikuoa anakupenda??nooot necessarily-it depends kwa nini amekuoa?what is the primary aim of the marriage??babies,financial security,family ties??

    but kama anakupenda-kwa nini asikuoe??wakati katika ndoa unaniahidi utanipenda na kuniheshimju milele daima??despite of who i am??
     
  4. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Hapana, mbona mie nakupenda sana wewe lakini sijakugawia sakramenti na wala sijafunga ndoa na wewe?

    Afu haya ya ushauri wa ndoa ungejitoa tu, utawaingiza chaka watoto wa wenzio.
     
  5. Bra-joe

    Bra-joe JF-Expert Member

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    Ndugu umenena kweli, ndiyo maana mimi siwezi kumpenda mwanamke kimapenzi na wala siamini maisha ya ndoa kama ni ya furaha na upendo.
     
  6. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Be serious, ujue nataka kuolewa ila na wasi wasi kama ananipenda.

     
  7. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Neiwa, ukifunga ndoa na mtu ina maana kuwa at a certain point ulikuwa unampenda?

    Ni vipi wanaofunga ndoa baada ya kujikuta wamemimbishana wakati wako kwenye adventure?

    Vipi kuhusu ndoa za mkeka na za kuchaguliwa mke ama mme?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  8. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    phina, umeona sasa mkanganyiko huo, kama anakupenda kwa nini asikuoe?

    Lakini je, hakuna watu wakapendana lakini mazingira hayawaruhusu kuoana?

    Au ndo msemo wa MwanajamiiOne, love conquers all?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  9. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

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    Darasa huru
     
  10. phina

    phina JF-Expert Member

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    mambo ya forbidden love hayo..and the way forbidden fruits are sweet!!?
    lakini hata mkipendana vipi..i like to think that marriage is the peak of that love..it doesnt really feel complete or whole untill you marry.its like having sex and not climaxing..well maybe you had a goodtime and a lot of fun but then whaat..is that it??
     
  11. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

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    Bra-joe kwani kupenda kupo vipi? unadhani unaenda tu kama vile taa unaamua kuiwasha? hilo sio swala la kuamua it just happens. Maisha ya ndoa yana furaha na upendo, ndio njia pekee mnaweza ishi kwa amani. Unaweza usiwe in love na spouse wako ila ni muhimu walau kuwa wampenda na kum acknowledge kama mtu wako wa karibu, else huwezi ishi nae hata kama yale ya msingi ya kuwaunganisha yapo.
     
  12. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna sababu nyingi Kongosho, hasa kama you are logical na realistic. Hivi hujawahi patikana katika moja ya situation kuwa unampenda mwanamke tena kabisa kwa dhati, ila your logical side of the brain unajua huwezi kuwa nae sababu unajua kabisa vile alivo is not what you want in a wife?

    Aidha labda uko mdini mno na yeye ni dini tofauti, aidha labda ni lege lege mno anahitaji high maintenance na constant assistance na huna uwezo huo au kwa sababu zozote zile ambazo ni za msingi ambazo hua zina guide vigezo vya kuoa ama kuolewa. Kwa hio hio inajibu swali lako la pili, watu wanapendana lakini mazingira hayaruhusu.. tena sometime unaweza kuta hata wahusika wapo ndani ya ndoa. Kinacho baki na wapo kupozana once in a while, ama kupotezeana na kila mtu kushika maisha yao kwa kuogopa kuwa wata disrupt familia zao husika.
     
  13. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    phina, so niki-conclude kuwa si wote walooana wanapendana, ila wote walopendana wameoana ntakuwa sawa?
     
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  14. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

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    Kugawa K nje ya ndoa pia pendo lakini pendo lake linasapotiwa na shetani...na kugawa K ndani ya ndoa ni pendo ambalo linasapotiwa na mungu.

    Chagua umfate shetani au mungu :bounce:
     
  15. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

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    For me kipimo cha mapenzi ni kusubiri till you're legally become husband and wife. Huo ustahmilivu ndio kweli huyo mtu yuko nawewe for real. Kama sex ni kipimo cha mapenzi at hata machangu wanazitoa hizo huduma kwa wateja wao does it mean wanawapenda sana?
     
  16. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    na kwa wasioamini je?


     
  17. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    hujawahi sikia mwanamme hafanyi mapenzi na mtarajiwa wake lakini anatafuta kipozeo wakati anasubiri kufunga ndoa?

    Hapo napo ni nini?

    Kama no sex before marriage kwa mtindo huu?

     
  18. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

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    Kongosho we kama huamini kigawe tu kitumbua.

    Hata mimi naye amini ukinipa kitumbua chako sikiwachi.
     
  19. Bra-joe

    Bra-joe JF-Expert Member

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    sawa ndugu yangu, naomba uniambie kupenda ni nini, labda mimi sijui maana ya kupenda, pia kumbuka nilisema kumpenda kimapenzi, (nafanya nao urafiki uliyopitiliza)
     
  20. Emma.

    Emma. JF-Expert Member

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    Uaminifu ujue mpaka mnaamua kuingia kwenye ndoa mmeshakaa mkachunguzana kwa muda mrefu kipimo unampima mkiwa bado hajafunga ndoa.
     
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