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Hivi huku sio kubaka kweli?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Felixonfellix, Oct 14, 2011.

  1. Felixonfellix

    Felixonfellix JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 14, 2011
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    [h=3][/h] [​IMG]





    Kama kubaka ni hali ya mwanaume au mwanamke kulazimisha kufanya tendo la ndoa bila hiyari ya mwingine, basi wanawake wengi sana walioko kwenye ndoa hubakwa na waume zao kila siku.



    Kubakwa huku kunatokana na ukweli kwamba wanawake wengi hulazimika kukubali kufanya tendo la ndoa na waume zao kutokana na mazingira mbalimbali yaliyo nje ya upendo.


    Kuna ndoa nyingi ambazo zimekufa, ingawa wanandoa wanaishi pamoja. Zimekufa kwa sababu hazina mawasiliano kabisa. Lakini cha ajabu ni kwamba, watu hawa wanakutana kimwili na pengine kuzaa watoto. Kwa sehemu kubwa kwenye ndoa za aina hii, wanawake huwa hawako kwenye ukamilifu wao kimawazo.


    Mara nyingi athari huwa ni kwa wanawake kwa sababu wao kimaumbile huishi kihisia. Kutokana na kuathirika kimawazo hamu yao ya kushiriki tendo la ndoa nayo hupotea.


    Kwa kuwa hawana hamu ya kushiriki tendo la ndoa, waume zao wanapowaambia, ‘geuka huku’ (hawaongei zaidi ya hapo kwa sababu hakuna mawasiliano), hufanya hivyo. Na hufanya hivyo huku wakiwa hawataki.


    Sio wengi wanaoweza kukataa kwa sababu hawakulelewa katika mazingira yanayoweza kuwafanya wakatae. Wamelelewa kwenye mazingira ambayo yamewaambia, miili yao hawana haki nayo mbele ya utashi wa waume zao!


    Ukiacha mawasiliano kuna ndoa ambazo wanaume ni Malaya sana, walevi, au wapigaji. Kwenye ndoa za aina hii unaweza kukuta mwanamke bado anaendelea kuwepo kwa sababu mbalimbali, ikiwemo ya utegemezi au watoto. Pamoja na kuendelea kwao kuwepo, hamu ya tendo la ndoa na waume zao nayo inakuwa haipo



    Lakini mwanaume hatakiwi kunyimwa mwili wake anapouhitaji. Kwa hiyo, kinachotokea ni mwanamke kufanya mapenzi kwa kujilazimisha au kulazimishwa..
    Kuna kesi nyingi ambapo tumesikia juu ya wanaume kuwauwa wake zao kutokana na kuwakatalia unyumba au wakiwa wanapigana baada ya mwanamke kukataa kushiriki tendo la ndoa.

    Kwenye ndoa nyingi wanawake hubakwa, yaani hushiriki tendo la ndoa bila hiyari zao. Hulazimishwa au hujilazimisha kutokana na nafasi ambayo jamii imewapa.


    Ni kwa nini basi tunapozungumzia kubaka tusiwaambie wanawake na kuwashauri wawe macho na ubakaji huu ambao
    una athari kubwa kwao na kwa jamii wakiwemo watoto wanaozaliwa kwenye ndoa hizi za kibabe?


    Source: kaluse.blogspot.com
     
  2. Nazjaz

    Nazjaz JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 14, 2011
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    mi bado kuvunja sinia, msiniharibu
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 14, 2011
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    kwa wazungu haya
    kwa waafrika inafahamika ukikubali kuolewa unakubali yote....
     
  4. ndyoko

    ndyoko JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 14, 2011
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    mimi nadhani mtu akishaanza kutoa 'ushirikiano' kunako 6x6 suala la kubakwa linapotea hapo hata kama alilazimishwa
     
  5. Nailyne

    Nailyne JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 14, 2011
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    -kuna maandiko katika biblia yanasema mume ana haki juu ya mwili wa mkewe alikadhalika mke juu ya mwili wa mumewe.....
    -sheria ya ndoa ya tz (LMA 1971) mume habaki mkewe ispokuwa kama wawili hawa wapo under separation hapa talaka inakuwa bado kutolewa....
    -hivyo kwa mujibu wa dini na sheria mume na mke wanaolala chumba kimoja hawabakani hata kama mmmoja hajaridhia tendo...-

    -my take; its not health for spouses to have sex before resolving their conflicts or when one has not given his/her consent
    -wanaoathirika zaidi ni wanawake kwa sababu kwao tendo la ndoa huusisha hisia zaidi its more than physical need , kwa hiyo kama hajaridhia ni rahisi kuadhirika kisakolojia.
    -sex isitumike kama silaha ya kunyimana haki yenu ya ndoa.
     
  6. Bambanza jr.

    Bambanza jr. JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 14, 2011
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    huku sio kwao binti nenda majukwaa mengine usije ukadumaaa!
     
  7. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 14, 2011
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    dah nazjaz kumbe zile post zako haziendani na umri wako ?
     
  8. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Nimefarijika matron!
     
  9. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Mama usingizi haukuji nimejikuta na msongo wa mawazo ikabidi nipige chabo JF ,bestlady ngoja nilale nisije kukulilia kesho
    take care
     
  10. the grate

    the grate JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 14, 2011
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    sina la kuongeza ime2lia had raha
     
  11. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Relax..... (usiuruhusu)
    Kimbia haraka kitandani!

    Nailyne......asante kwa maelezo !
     
  12. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Ni kweli kama sio kweli. Hata wanaume wa kiafrika wanafaham kuna wakati hutakiwi ku-insist kama mwenzio amekataa. Ila kwa upande mngine ni kweli, kubakwa kuna definitions nyingi na sio lazima tukubaliane na definition ya wazungu.
    Mi nadhani kama mtu anatoa shingo upande (angependa asitoe ila anajilazimisha kutoa) sio kubaka. Kubaka ni wakati hataki kabisa kutoa na ANALAZIMISHWA kutoa kwa kutishiwa physicaly au mentaly (atapigwa, watoto watapigwa, hata hudumiwa, atashtakiwa kwa wazazi etc).
    Sijui wengine mnasemaje hapa?
     
  13. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #13
    Oct 14, 2011
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    Nyie ndo mnaosema hivi alafu siku ukifunuliwa kunakuwa wazi, unaanza kudanganya nilikuwa naumwa Dr akaniingizia vyuma...
     
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