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Hisia zetu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Che Kalizozele, May 20, 2009.

  1. Che Kalizozele

    Che Kalizozele JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: Jul 20, 2008
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    Kutokana na ndoa ya baba kuwa na matatizo mengi,nilijikuta nikisoma vitabu vingi sana vinavyoongelea mahusiano.Vingi ya vitabu hivi vilikuwa vinaonesha kuwa tatizo kubwa katika mahusiano mengi hasa mapenzi ni kukosekana kwa mawasiliano baina ya wawili wapendanao.Baada ya kufanya uchunguzi usiokuwa rasmi nikagundua wanandoa wangi hawaongei hasa hisia zao.Si nikaingia katika ndoa,you can't believe Iam facing the same problem.Si kwamba hatuongei,tunajitahidi lakini sikumbuki tangu tumeoana siku ambayo tulikaa chini na kulijadili tendo la ndoa,ili labda tuliboreshe zaidi ingawa tuna tabia ya kuulizana kama tumefikishana kileleni kila baada ya kumaliza kupeana dozi.HIVI KUNA UGUMU GANI WA WANANDOA KUZIONGEA HISIA ZAO.
     
  2. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: Jan 9, 2009
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    Siko kwenye ndoa sijui , lakini nafikiri labda mnaogopana, na wewe kama ulikuwa umeshachunguza na umejua hilo ni tatizo kwa nini msitenge muda hata mara moja kwa week weekend mnongela au unasikia aibu? si mtajikuta kila siku mnarudia mambo yaleyale
     
  3. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: Apr 29, 2009
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    MMhhhh!!!!

    Hiyo mjomba ni kaz kwelikweli!

    Unajua, kabla ya kuingia katika ndoa, au labda niseme katika kipindi cha uchumba, mtu yeyote anajitahidi sana kusoma vitabu magazeti au vijarida vinavyohusu namna bora ya kudumisha penzi katika nyumba.

    Na kwa moyo radhi kabisa , na kwa kudhamiria, mtu huingia katika awamu ya pili ya kuanza kuishi na mwenza, akijitahidi kutekeleza yote aliyoyasoma kwenye vitabu.

    Lakini, life is not a continous honeymoon! Kuna mambo kibaao yanaanza kuitafuna ndoa polepole sana. Kuna Masuala kama Uzazi, vipato, majirani, marafiki, ugonjwa, wakwe, mashemeji,joto, baridi na vingine viiingi tu, ambavyo hatimaye vinaanza kuleta msigano ndani ya ndoa.

    Matokeo yake, maongezi au mawasiliano taratibu huota kutu,na hatimaye kuvunjika. Hufikia wakati inaonekana kukaa chini na kuongelea mambo ya kuboresha tendo la ndoa ni kama kupoteza muda! Mtu, hasa baba anakuwa na presha kubwa zaidi na mambo ya maisha na kazi, kuliko mambo ya penzi na unyumba.

    So, when any tragedy strikes, the first victim to to be abandoned is matters concerning love communication!
    Mimi sikushangai Kalizolela, ndio trend ya almost 90% ya watu.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2009
  4. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
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    kwakuwa tulilelewa kwenye imani, mila na desturi ambazo kuongelea jambo lolote kuhusiana na "tendo la ndoa" ni tusi kubwa hata kama ulishavunja ungo au kubaleghe!

    Unakumbuka "mtoto ananunuliwa sokoni?", i bet wengi tu wanaendelea kuwaongopea watoto wao hivi hivi...
     
  5. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
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    Hivi jamani, kwani matatizo yaliyoko kwenye ndoa au baina ya wanandoa ni hilo la utendaji wa tendo tu??? Tatizo kwenye hili eneo kwa kiasi huchangiwa na mambo mengine na kufuatana na mila, desturi na hulka, watu ( wanawake na wanaume) hutumia s.... kama namna ya kumwadhibu mwenza au kutuma ujumbe kwamba things are not right.Mtu anaweza kukataa ili upate ujumbe kuwa kuna tatizo.Na ndio hapo communication/dialogue ni muhimu baina ya wanandoa.
    Vipo vitu vinavyoweza kufanya tendo lidorore mfano ishu kama migogoro inayohusiana na umiliki na matumizi ya rasilimali ( ulevi,uchoyo,ufujaji) uvivu, uchafu wa mwili na mazingira, kuna matatizo ya malezi ya watoto n.k Hivi mtu ataona raha gani kufurahia pale mwenza wake ni mchafu, insensitive, mchoyo, mkatili n.k? Kuna watu hukimbilia nyumba ndogo siyo kwa vile nyumbani huduma ni mbovu kivile, bali kutokana na ama kujisikia hasikilizwi na kuheshimiwa, au mwenza ni mkatili, mwenza hamjali, mwenza siyo mbunifu kuweka nyumba katika mazingira ya kuvutia ( usafi, mapambo,ucheshi) n.k.
    Nadhani wote - wanawake na wanaume wanapaswa kila mara wajiulize kama wako sawa katika maeneo mengine na kama hawako sawa ni wakati muafaka kurekebisha ili wote waweze kufurahia maisha ya ndoa.Tendo hilo pamoja na umuhimu wake, linataka mtu awe sawa kiakili ( psychologicaly) na awe na amani ya moyo - aridhike.
     
  6. Che Kalizozele

    Che Kalizozele JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 21, 2009
    Joined: Jul 20, 2008
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    Asanteni kwa wote mliochangia,ndugu mwalyambi kuna wakati nilkuwa na mawazo kama ya kwako nikahisi labda natafuta kichaka cha kujificha.Any way thanks alot,nia ya kubadilika ninayo ,sababu ninayo na uwezo ninao pia.najua kutengeneza ndoa bora is a process na ndo kwanza nimemaliza mwaka katika ndoa,I still have time to make things even better.
     
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